


Bound in the Fade

by Alexmancer



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Arcane Warrior, Blood Magic, Bullying, Drug Use, Fade, M/M, Sexual Content, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2017-12-04 08:43:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 56,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/708786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexmancer/pseuds/Alexmancer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The spirits of the Fade had always been drawn to Kayden, even when he was awake. Many treated him as a demon and the other apprentices were often scared of him. Then Duncan came, and so many things left unanswered; why were the spirits drawn to him, why Greagoir wished him tranquil? And how could he handle the Blight, the Fade and an Antivan assassin without losing himself?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Joining

_"In War, Victory. In Peace, Vigilance. In Death, Sacrifice."  
\- Grey Warden motto_

He glided through Ostagar that night, a speck of white glimmering in the darkness. He had heard so many times that Ferelden smelled of mud and wet dog, and he noticed it all the more that night. The Tower didn't smell nearly this bad, but when it rained as often as it did and there were dogs and an entire army camped here, it was to be expected.

"I'll be just a minute, Alistair. I have to get this herb to the kennel master."

Alistair only nodded and he watched them continue on for a moment. His eyes wandered to the ground. It was dry now, but he could tell that the sky was threatening to fall at any moment. There would be mud again soon enough. 

He was sweating by the time he reached the kennels. How could anyone live in this humidity? How could they think it was cold? 

He heard a gasp and looked up from the ground to see the kennel master making a sign against evil.

"Oh, it's you! I do apologize, I thought you was a ghost..."

"I get that a lot," Kayden said as he handed over a white flower to the man, "Is this the herb you were looking for?"

"Yes, that's it! Thank you, this should help."

Kayden looked back at the ground for a moment. He wanted to ask, but he didn't know if it would be -.

"He should be fine in just a few days. Maybe come back and we'll see about imprinting him on you."

Was this man a mind reader? "Do you think that can be done?"

"Maybe, I've heard of it happening before. No harm in trying."

Kayden looked over the short fence at the sick and muzzled dog. He seemed to be having a peaceful sleep. That was good enough for him.

He nodded and thanked the kennel master when Alistair approached, "Duncan wants us to meet him at the temple. Let's get a move on, shall we?"

Kayden sighed, falling into step behind Alistair as they made their way to the old Temple where the Joining Ritual awaited him and the other recruits. 

He had read about the history of the Blights back at the Circle Tower. The Blights, the Grey Wardens... It seemed so long ago that he sat in the Circle's library pouring over history books and magical texts. In all his time in the library, he had never come across anything about the Joining Ritual and he certainly never expected that one day he might join the Warden ranks. 

Things like this seemed out of reach for him. The First Enchanter had called him lucky, and he really was. If it hadn't been for Duncan, who knew what sort of punishment would be awaiting for him now? 

Alistair had a similar story about being rescued by Duncan. Alistair was an ex-Templar and that alone made him uneasy around the man. He joked often, though it seemed more of a defense than anything. He must be hiding so much. Kayden didn't want to pry, especially when it came to a Templar, but if they were going to be Wardens together, they would have to learn to get along. Alistair was nice so far, but Kayden still didn't trust him.

They walked to the temple in silence, the awkward type, finally breaking when he heard their other companions arguing. He wasn't interested in what they had to say and rolling his eyes he added, "Will the two of you quit it already? You're giving me a headache."

The Templar seemed amused, having wanted to say the same thing but had remained silent.

When Kayden met Ser Jory only a few hours previous, he had taken an instant disliking for the knight. The man showed the same prejudice he had come to expect from anyone that found out he was a mage. Maybe Niall had been right, people were always going to fear mages. He hadn't wanted Niall to be right, but here was his proof and it was only his first week out of the Tower.

Daveth wasn't much better. He was younger and less experienced than Ser Jory, but he had grown up on stories about the Wilds and their Witches and barbarians. Kayden may have not been an apostate or maleficarum from the Wilds, though he assumed that to people like Daveth there was little difference.

"Will the two of you just shut up already?" He crossed his arms, but again he was ignored. They only stopped when Duncan arrived, bringing a white, marble chalice to a small table nearby. He spoke of Joining and how he and the Wardens before him had drank the blood of the darkspawn and mastered their taint.

Ser Jory was not pleased by this. Kayden was not surprised; the man had seemed a coward the entire time they were in the Wilds and the younger Daveth seemed a sarcastic voice of reason. One that only annoyed him more.

Duncan turned to the Templar, "We speak only a few words prior to the joining, but those words have been said since the first. Alistair, if you would?"

He nodded, and slightly bowed his head as if to pray. Kayden closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, taking in the warm air around him. His heart was racing in anticipation. Mostly anticipation and a few parts fear; fear that he wouldn't survive the Joining. 

"Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that can not be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day we shall join you."

"Daveth, step forward."

Kayden and Ser Jory watched in silence as the thief took the chalice and drank, and only a few seconds later the man clutched at his throat and convulsed in pain and torment until he lay dead at their feet.

Ser Jory looked on, pure terror filling his eyes as Duncan apologized to Daveth and asked the knight to step forward.

The horrified man was backing up to the stone wall behind him as he pulled out his sword.

"There is no turning back," Duncan said in a monotone. Had the man no compassion? He wanted to scream, but the young mage was too shocked to say anything. All he could do was watch.

"No! You ask too much! There is no glory in this!"

And then Duncan pulled out a dagger. The terrified knight lunged at him.

Duncan blocked a few blows with his dagger, still holding the chalice in his right hand and then plunged the dagger into the knight, "I am sorry, but the Joining is not yet complete."

Kayden's jaw dropped as the man hit the ground in a pool of blood. Duncan had been his savior, and now he wasn't sure what to think. He gulped, this would probably be it for him as well.

He closed his eyes, trying to drown out the images, hoping beyond hope that when they opened again, this nightmare would be over, or maybe his eyes wouldn't open again. It was either drink blood and the poison would kill him or he'd be killed by Duncan's blade. He wondered which was worse.

"You were called upon to submit yourself to the taint for the greater good," came Duncan's voice as he handed the chalice to Kayden. Everything was so far away now. He couldn't go back to the Tower, to Kirkwall...

He opened his eyes once more and looked down at the chalice, at the black blood and then, without thinking brought it to his lips taking a long drink. He stood there waiting to die, resigned to that fate. He could feel the hot tears forming in his eyes, and he mentally cursed himself for not leaving Alim on better terms. The elf probably hated him by now, and there was nothing he could to about it. They would never see each other again.

"From this moment forth, you are a Grey Warden."

Kayden turned to Alistair, and then his head began pounding. He could see the Temple no longer, instead there was darkness, and deep within that darkness a great dragon. 

The dragon let out a roar, and Kayden could have sworn that it saw him. Then... nothing...


	2. Warden's Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning portion is a flash back and what he refers to as "the Dreams" is the Fade. When he was that young, he didn't have a word for it yet, and that seemed like it would make sense for the common person to refer to it that way. This is mainly because people outside of the Circle don't usually know what the Fade is.

_Kirkwall, The Free Marches.  
Winter of 9:20 Dragon._

_"He's a demon!"_

_Kayden huddled next to the bedroom door, ear pressed against the wood. His mother was arguing with a woman, he did not know who. If he hadn't been terrified, he'd run out to defend her._

_"No, he's only a child, he's done nothing wrong."_

_"He's a mage! Have you even taken a good look at him? His hair, his skin, those eyes..."_

_"Just like his fathers..." he heard his mother whisper. He didn't know, he had never met his father. Did he have the same pale complexion and white hair as Kayden? And the same lyrium-colored eyes? It was hard to believe that anyone would look like him, but it did make sense that he got his looks from somewhere other than the Dreams._

_Did being a mage really make him a demon? It might as well, mages here were usually sent to the Gallows. He shuddered at the thought, and crossed his room to the window, overlooking the courtyard. He had to get away before the Templars came._

_A crash came from outside, and he could hear the yelling of angry men. There was a bang at the front door. He jumped and looked for somewhere to hide. The cabinet maybe? He rushed over and stepped into it, closing the door behind him._

_"Hurry, Revka, we have to get him away from Kirkwall, tonight."_

_It was a man's voice this time, but he did not recognize it. He could just hear his mother's panicked breathing as she ran towards his room. The door burst open and she quickly packed a few things in a sack for him; some food, spare clothes, and other small things._

_"You are leaving with the Templars sooner than expected."_

_"But mother... what's going on?" he asked, peeking out of the cabinet. How did she always know?_

_"Don't talk back, be good now." She kissed him, brushing his white hair away from his eyes. She was trying her best to hide tears he could tell, but he had never seen her cry before. The situation was worse than he thought and he began shivering at the idea._

_"Am I to be sent to The Gallows?"_

_"No," the man said again, as he entered the room. Kayden was able to get a good look at him. He wore the uniform of a Templar. The Sword of Mercy on his breastplate, the rich maroon skirt, the chain, and the terrifying helmet that covered his face, were unmistakeable._

_Kayden gasped and fell back into his mother's arms._

_"Do not be afraid, I am here to help you," he said._

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It is finished." Duncan said.

Kayden opened his eyes, two men were hovering over him. Where was he again?

He sat up and looked around.

"Two more dead. When I went through the Joining only one died, but it was still... horrible," Alistair shuddered.

He was told a war meeting was taking place and that King Cailan had asked for them to join, but he had a headache.

"Take some time," Duncan said, "You can meet us there when you're ready."

He nodded, and looked over toward the mage encampment, wondering if they had anything for a headache. Wynne was there, she would know. 

Alistair helped him up and he brushed the dirt off of his robes, "Nothing you said could have prepared me for that."

Alistair chuckled and ruffled his hair, "You'll be fine."

Kayden scowled, "No reason to treat me like a child, I've taken the Harrowing you know."

Alistair shrugged, "I'm going with Duncan now. Come by when you're ready, I'm sure King Cailan would like to see you."

Damn templar, he thought. Well... ex-templar. Though Alistair wasn't much like any of the Templars he'd ever met, save one. He didn't want to think about that, it was so far in the past it didn't matter anymore.

Kayden pushed a strand of white hair behind an ear and rubbed his temples, then decided to hurry to the mage encampment; if he waited any longer he feared his head would explode.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If it wasn't raining, the tower would probably be burning around them. Two soldiers had followed them into the Tower of Ishal, a tower that was now swarming with darkspawn. What luck.

They pressed on, killing all the darkspawn they saw as they made their way up the tower. He expected there to be a few here, but not this many, and Alistair seemed to be thinking the same thing when they reached the next floor.

"You could always try telling them they're in the wrong place," Kayden suggested, freezing the closest genlock.

"Right. Because clearly," Alistair sliced a hurlock across the chest, "this is all just a misunderstanding. We'll laugh about this later."

"Maybe. I never expected fighting darkspawn to be so much fun."

"Yes, this is a leisurely exercise to be sure."

Kayden smirked, and one of the soldiers looked at him like he was crazy, "Is now really the time for that?"

Another hurlock fell and Alistair pressed forward, "We have to hurry and light the beacon."

Kayden nodded, picking up the pace to run beside Alistair, "We're almost there."

They climbed the stairs, taking two, sometimes three or more at a time. He remembered only once running up the stairs in the Circle Tower like this, only to be scolded by one of the Templars for running indoors later. He had been excited about something then, what he couldn't remember. He must have been twelve at the time. The situation now was much more urgent.

When the reached the top of the stairs, Alistair stopped abruptly in front of him. Kayden almost slammed into the ex-templar, but was able to stop in time.

"Alistair, why did you stop. What is it?" He looked ahead. There was something big in the center of the circular room, and it appeared to be... eating. The body fell as the ogre stood up, and flexed it's muscles. It then turned its head to the newcomers and let out a guttural roar.

"Maker, that thing is ugly," Kayden blurted out, trying not to look at the very human body that had become the ogre's snack.

"You know, it might be stupid, but I'm sure it can understand that," Alistair said. He was speaking softly, hoping the ogre was hard of hearing.

He didn't have time to wonder if it did as the beast charged at them only seconds later. It took all his focus just to jump out of the way. The others had done the same and were now engaging it. 

Kayden sent bolts of cold at the ogre, hoping to freeze it, anything to give the others an edge. He wished he knew just a few more spells; and maybe he'd be more helpful. He began casting weakness and vulnerablility hexes, then enchanted their weapons with cold. He hoped it would be enough.

Unfortunately for him though, the ogre finally realized who was casting those spells and after punching one of the soldiers to a bloody pulp, turned its attention to Kayden. 

It charged toward Kayden. When it was far enough away from the others, Kayden switched to heavier spells, ones that would have damaged everyone surrounding the ogre.

A cone of arctic air burst from his hands as the ogre grew closer, and he prayed it would stop it in its tracks before it could knock Kayden across the room. It was successful, but not before the ogre knocked his staff out of his hands. 

It was frozen in place, but as he reached for his staff, the ogre came crumbling down on top of it, Alistair's sword buried deep in it's back.

"Hurry, light the beacon!"

He didn't have time to get his staff, and it had likely been broken by now. All that mattered was signaling reinforcements. He could hear the blood pumping in his ears as he raced across the room, pulling a flaming torch out of a sconce, he threw it into the pile of wood. It burst into flame, and he had to cover his eyes for a moment.

It was done.

He grinned, wiped the sweat from his brow with the sleeve of his robes and turned to Alistair, only to be stuck like a pin cushion. He looked down to see three arrows protruding from his chest. It was as if it was someone else's body, unreal. 

Kayden's hand reached his chest as the blood began to ooze out, covering his robes and he fell back, hitting cold stone. Something hot dripped into his eyes, and he closed them tightly, trying to stop the stinging.

Then there was a thrum, like the sound of great wings. He tried to open his eyes again, and what he saw... a man. It was like looking in a mirror - white hair, lyrium blue eyes. But the hair was far longer than his and he wore the armored uniform of a templar knight. He was held in the air by great white wings. An... angel? And he was reaching out to Kayden. He had seen this man before, but he couldn't remember where.

Kayden shook his head. He must have seeing things, he told himself. As he closed his eyes again, just as he was lifted from the ground by something clamped tightly around his torso.


	3. Of Bandits and Blight

Total bitch. That's what Alistair had called her. Sure, some of the things Morrigan said - especially to Alistair - could be considered a bit on the mean side, but Kayden found that she was rather practical. He liked her. She didn't, however, agree with all the things he did while they were in Lothering.

After entering the Dane's Refuge, the first thing Kayden had done, after beating up some of Loghain's men, and then using them to send a message to Loghain, was invite a Chantry sister to their little group. The redhead had introduced herself as Leliana and claimed she had been a minstrel from Orlais. She had come to the Chantry in Lothering only two years previously. 

That's when all the fun started.

Kayden began helping random people around the small, doomed village. Mostly in menial tasks, and when they didn't seem to need much more, he moved to the Chantry board. That was something Morrigan seemed to be the most against. He told her it was for the money, but they all knew what his real intent was. Kayden wanted to prove to people that he wasn't a wandering ghost.

He even rescued a caged Qunari from darkspawn. Well, he got the Revered Mother to give them the key to the cage anyway. The darkspawn weren't likely to overrun the town for a few more days yet, but he felt a sense of accomplishment at persuading her to release the ashen warrior into his custody to help in his quest against the Blight. Leliana loved telling him that it was more her doing than his, but if she hadn't been there, Kayden would have likely threatened the priest into handing the key over anyway. Still, it was a good thing Leliana had been there.

That had only been their first day in Lothering. Between tricking some bandits into giving the Grey Wardens a donation and running off some of Loghain's men, the flimsy sword Kayden had found on the road had broken. In three pieces no less. There was a blacksmith at Lothering, but none of his wares were much better than the other sword had been when he found it.

"You are a terrible swordsman you know," Leliana said to him the first night as they sat around the fire.

"Flattery won't get you anywhere, my dear." Kayden snorted.

"Of course not, but you really are awful. I'd like to help you."

Kayden raised an eyebrow and turned his head to look at her. "How? I've already asked Alistair to teach me to use a sword."

"Which I'm wondering if I should have agreed to, by the way." Alistair sat down next to Kayden by the fire, and leaned back, trying to relax.

"You're having second thoughts then?" he asked softly.

"Well first of all, you're clumsy, your stance is off, and your footwork is terrible."

"That's all?" Kayden asked, raising an eyebrow and biting back sarcasm. No one had ever really criticized him like that before, not even in the Tower.

"I said 'first of all'. I don't even want to get started on the rest. Do you really think a mage could learn my style of fighting?"

"Yes, I do. It will take practice, but I think I can do it."

"Well, at least you don't lack determination," Alistair sighed and lowered his voice.

Kayden grinned, "We're stating tomorrow then, right?"

"First," Leliana cut in, "you need some balance training. You heard Alistair, you're clumsy."

"What?" Kayden let out an exasperated sigh.

"Yes, balance training. As clumsy as you are, I fear you will injure yourself training. Any injury you get would likely be your own fault and I don't want you blaming Alistair for it. Now here is what I suggest, Alistair; I will help Kade with balance training before he goes with you for sword training. Let's say, 15 minutes every day then?"

"Sounds good to me," Alistair laughed.

Kayden gave them a frustrated nod. There was no winning against these two. "I guess there will be no harm in that."

"It is settled then. Hm, I'm going to need to break out my leathers for this. I wonder if they will still fit properly."

"If you'll excuse me then," Kayden said as he stood up and left the fire. He walked around Lothering for a bit, just to be away. Everything was happening so fast. Only two days ago he had become a full-time mage at the Circle and now he was at a town full of doomed refugees. 

With the inn full, there were so many people camped about the town in little tents. Some were shivering by tiny fires, much like the one he and his companions made. He wondered how many of these people hadn't had a thing to eat today. He couldn't help everyone, he told himself. If he gave up all his money, he and his little party would starve too. Did that make him a bad person?

Suffering, everywhere he looked. What was worse, as soon as people saw him, they ushered their children away. Kayden had been able to approach some of them during the day and offer them help, but at night...

"It's a ghost! Quickly children, get in your tent. Recite the Chant!" 

Kayden kicked a rock. Ingrates. Why should he help people like that? They didn't want his help. They would cast him aside like an abomination. Alistair, Morrigan, and Leliana didn't treat him the same way. They didn't seem to care what he looked like. What made them so different?

"Walking about the miserable, I see?"

"Morrigan."

"So nice of you to remember my name."

Kayden turned around and met the witch's gaze, "How could I not? You and Flemeth have done a great deal for me. I will not forget your kindness."

"You act like I had a choice, but you are welcome all the same," she smiled now and motioned for him to join her by her little fire. They sat there in silence for a few minutes before she finally asked, "Do you know anything about herbalism?"

He looked at her for a moment, wondering why she'd want to know that, but he answered, "I took a basic class in herbalism back at the Tower."

"Good," she said, handing him a flask, "Will you help me make some poultices then?"

Kayden nodded and set to work. She had enough ingredients to make a good amount of them, and he wondered if they would need to use the all. He hoped they wouldn't. 

The silence was thick and awkward. What could he say to her? She was a mage, but she never lived at the Tower, she was raised in the Wilds. There was so much he wanted to ask, wanted to know, but he didn't want to insult her by asking so many invasive questions. She seemed to be the type of person that highly valued her privacy.

He looked at her from the corner of his eyes, her gaze cast down upon her project. Her eyes seemed so mysterious to him just the other day, but now... they seemed lonely. Suddenly, he felt like he understood her very well, thinking about his life at the tower. The nicknames the other apprentices had given him, how far away they sat from him when they ate in the Great Hall or when they were studying in the Library.

Spook had been a popular one for a long time. Go away, Spook. Kayden recalled them saying that a lot during that phase.

"Where are you from? You must not have been at the Tower your whole life."

Kayden blinked and looked up, he hadn't expected her to be the one to initiate a conversation. If he was right though, she probably welcomed his company.

"I'm from Kirkwall in the Free Marches."

"Not even from Ferelden then. Shame. Must be very different there."

"Different? I suppose so, but I haven't been there in ten years. I can't remember very well. As far as Ferelden goes, this is the first time since then that I've even left the Tower, so I've yet to make a decision on that."

Morrigan looked up the poultice she was working on, "You've never left the tower?"

Kayden shook his head. "Apprentices weren't permitted to go outside."

"That would explain why you're so pale then," she smirked.

"I've been like this since I was born. I remember my mother once saying I took after my father."

"Your father? What is he like?"

"I don't know. I never met him."

"Oh... and your mother?"

"I loved her. She was very kind."

"I'm sorry, I can't help but be just a bit jealous."

"Of my relationship with my mother? I haven't seen her in ten years. I don't even know if she still lives. But you, your mother is still with you. What reason do you have to feel jealous? Flemeth is your mother, yes?"

"Are you asking if she gave birth to me? I am not certain, but she is the one who raised me."

They talked for a while. She told him stories about growing up in the Wilds, about what Flemeth told of her past. The stories he had read about Flemeth had all been lies and exaggeration. In return, he told her a little about his life at the Tower. Eventually, she stopped him.

"We should get some rest now. No doubt the dimwit and the silly redhead will want you up early tomorrow for that training you told me about."

Kayden nodded, "You're right. I... had a good time tonight. We should talk more another time."

"Yes, that would be nice. And... thank you for your help with the poultices. I think we have plenty for now."

Their gazes met for a brief second before they said good night. Kayden smiled, he hadn't felt like this since he met Jowan and Alim. At least he got along with one of his companions. Maybe he'd eventually begin to consider her a friend, and he hoped she would feel the same way.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Kayden was checking the Chanter's Board early the next day, stretching the stiffness out of his back as he looked over the listed jobs. It seemed there were more bandits running amok just outside the town. 

He pulled the paper off the board and read it over a few times. This was just what he needed to really practice the skills Leliana and Alistair were teaching him, and he decided he would show them the paper after they trained together.

Leliana not only had him balance training, but also doing pushups, sit-ups and many other exercises. She said that this would help him with balance and stability, and reduce the risk of injury when he practiced with Alistair. She also added that building muscle couldn't hurt. He was insulted, but didn't argue.

"I'll make a man out of you yet," she said with a grin as Kayden joined Alistair. She sat on a nearby bench to watch.

Originally, Kayden had thought the fact that Alistair fought with a sword and shield wouldn't be a problem. Just a minor detail, right? Wrong. As the two continued to spar, Alistair's shield made teaching incredibly difficult. He tried discarding it while he taught Kayden, but it proved to be rather awkward for him. Still they pressed on.

"All right, let's take a break." Alistair let our a frustrated sigh as he took a long drink of water from a metal cup.

Leliana was in a fit of giggles by now, practically falling off the long bench she had been watching them on.

"It's not that funny," Kayden huffed as he joined Alistair and Leliana. He decided now would be a good time to show them the paper he took from the Chanter's Board.

"So, you wanna run off some bandits today then? That's fine by me, but you're not going alone," Alistair said after he looked over the paper. He handed it back to Kayden who folded it up and slipped it into the pouch with his Spellbook. That was really the only good place for it anyway.

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to go alone anyway. I need the practice, but I'm not good enough to fight off a group of bandits on my own without resorting to magic. Though I'd likely run out of mana depending on how many of them there are."

"Well I'm glad you realize that. I like your head where it is," Leliana added. 

He decided he liked her better in her leather armor rather than the chantry robes. Chantry robes just reminded him of Lily now. He cringed at the thought, the way she reacted finding out Jowan was a Blood Mage. She said she had been in love with Jowan. He stifled bitter laugh. He didn't want the others to think he was crazy. 

"Should we ask Sten and Morrigan to come with us?" Leliana asked, snapping Kayden out of his thoughts.

"Do we really need Morrigan? Or the giant? I don't really trust either of them," Alistair asked.

Kayden glanced over toward Alistair, "It would be nice to have an extra sword, and magic is always good... We don't really know how many bandits we will be facing."

"Actually, nevermind that. Maybe just the three of us and your dog should go," Leliana suggested. "We'll attract less attention with smaller numbers, we may even be able to sneak right up to them."

"Not that you'll be 'sneaking right up to them'. You seem to fancy that bow," Kayden laughed.

"I have daggers if I need to use them," she grinned, but she didn't say where. It hadn't occurred to Kayden that she would have hidden weapons. What was it she learned in Orlais?

Leliana led the way through the gates and out into the field. They stayed west of the windmill, making their way north toward the bridge.

"I see one of them," she said, nocking an arrow, "Are you ready?"

Kayden nodded and she shot. The arrow flew true and hit the bandit between the eyes.

"Leliana! Couldn't you have shot him through the leg or something?"

His loud comment got the attention of a few more bandits standing nearby. Kayden cursed as the group rushed towards them.

Leliana quickly nocked another arrow as the men were closing in. Another fell and soon Alistair was crashing blades with one of them. Volfson, Kayden's dog, rushed forward to fight against the two bandit hounds.

Kayden sighed and pulled out the unfamiliar weapon he had been training with. He needed to start using it, but was so tempted to start hurling magic at the bandits. He refrained. 

They were obviously more skilled than the mage, but they soon all lay dead around them. He had seen dead men before, mostly at Ostagar during the battle, but this was something different. He had been the one to deliver the deathblow to at least one of these men.

He collapsed to his hands and knees and lost his breakfast in the grass.

He felt Leliana's small hand pat him on the back. "First time then? Don't worry, if we hadn't killed them, they would have killed us."

"Easy for you to say. How many have you killed?"

"I lost count."

"I hate to say this, but you might have to get over that fast. This isn't likely to be the last time you kill someone," Alistair said, softly, petting Volfson. The dog was worriedly licking his master's shoulder now.

While they were probably right, that didn't make things any better. It certainly wouldn't stop him from feeling bad about it. He threw up again just thinking about it.

Leliana lightly rubbed his shoulder. She was very patient, letting him get it all out. He was half surprised Alistair didn't comment anymore about it. It was better that way anyway.

"Somehow, I didn't see it going like this when I read the job on the board. I'll be fine, just give me a few more minutes."

\-----------------------------------------------------------

The Chantry had later rewarded him with a sword for helping with all the bandits. It was way better than the junk he had been carrying around before. Kayden sold his other sword and sheathed the new one at his side. Oathkeeper, they had called it. It was the perfect reward for him he thought, looking over the Warden's pendant held on a chain around his neck. He'd use this sword for a good while yet.

Alistair and Leliana continued helping him train the next few days, and he continued to help the refugees in Lothering until they decided it was time to leave. By the fifth day, most of the stragglers were gone from the doomed town. They packed up their things and saw out a few more refugees.

Alistair guessed that it was likely this time tomorrow the place would be swarming with darkspawn, and Kayden was not ready to face that many with his limited amount of training. Very limited, Alistair had added. They had only been in Lothering for five days after all.

Morrigan seemed to be grateful to be getting away. She disapproved of them running around on errands the entire time they were there. That had at least been what she said, but Kayden thought she simply didn't like being around so many people. It must have made her nervous. He understood, of course, because he felt the same way in a crowd. However, he couldn't stand by and watch when so many people needed help.

After rescuing a dwarven merchant and his son from a group of darkspawn, they were on the road again, heading north-west toward Redcliffe. Alistair told them it would take a little more than a day to get there. Maybe they should have left Lothering sooner. It was too late now though, they had stayed and helped everyone they could.

And then they came across a traveling woman. She seemed hysterical, babbling about her little caravan being attacked.

They picked up the pace, following her back toward where she said her caravan was. There didn't seem to be much left. The fight seemed to be already over when they got there. She stopped next to a man.

Kayden could not see the woman's face, but she seemed to be talking to the man. He then looked away from the woman, his gaze settling on Kayden. They briefly locked eyes and a wicked grin appeared on his face.

"The Warden dies here!"


	4. Ode to the Dead

He was only barely able to block the dagger that came flying at him, Oathkeeper ringing as steel met steel. The others were fighting off the ambush around him, Leliana working to dispatch the archers perched atop the small cliffs overlooking the road, Morrigan targeting the mage, and Alistair and Sten engaging the armored men that had appeared from behind the destroyed wagons. 

This left Kayden with the elf fighter that seemed to be their leader. He still had that wicked smirk on his face, as if he knew how this little battle of theirs would end. His friends might have been doing well with the rest, but Kayden was by far outmatched and he knew it.

He blocked again, a feint. He realized it a bit too late as the other blade made contact with his flesh, leaving a deep gash in his right arm. He barely noticed it at first, but a few seconds later it began sending jolts of pain throughout his arm. He cried out and his head swam. The blade had been poisoned.

The elf laughed and attacked again, this time cutting into his other arm. Kayden tried to step away, but the world seemed so far away now. The affects of the poison were already taking its toll on him.

"Kayden! Stop being a stubborn ass and fight! Focus!" It was Morrigan's voice. Or was it? It was a woman's voice, but it couldn't have been Leliana. She was right. He had been trying so hard to work on his swordsmanship that he pushed aside the possibility of using magic at all. 

The world seemed to halt around him as he closed his eyes. So slow. Everything was so slow. He reached deep, concentrating, and when his eyes opened, everything went back to their normal pace. He would most certainly collapse later, but he needed all the help he could get now. He chanted the spell under his breath and then let it go. It hit all the foes around him, stopping them in their paths. Alistair and Sten took the opportunity to cut the helpless enemies down, and gave Kayden a chance to attack the stunned elf.

This was his chance. Kayden held his arms up in front of him and a swirl of white appeared and spread over his hands and forearms, then into the air before him, engulfing the elf and encasing him in frost. Sten took down the last of the armored men, and now the frozen elf was all that was left of the ambushers. The battle was over.

"You damn fool!" Morrigan yelled, striding over face the white-haired mage. "That little stunt you pulled could have gotten all of us killed! Remember first and foremost, you are a MAGE. You are not a swordsman, your skill is barely on the level of a squire boy tending to his master's horse!"

Alistair sighed, "I hate to say this, but I agree with Morrigan. There's nothing wrong with wanting to learn to fight with a sword, but survival is more important. You are a Grey Warden now, and we must do what needs to be done to stop the Blight. You can't leave me to do it all by myself after all."

"That fool over there certainly couldn't stop the Blight on his own. Tis better for him to be dead than you," Morrigan added.

"Hey!"

"Now is no the time for that. The elf is still alive. What do you plan on doing with him?" Leliana asked, finally joining them after checking the dead men for useful items.

Alistair nodded, "Yes, this was no mere bandit raid. These men were better trained."

"Assassins, yes." Leliana added.

"We question him then," Kayden suggested, the world starting to get fuzzy again as he felt his concentration slipping once more, "and make it quick."

"I have some rope, I'll be ready to tie him up as soon as the ice melts." Leliana rummaged through her pack, pulling out a few feet of thick hemp rope. She knew it wouldn't take long for the spell to wear off so she'd have to act quickly. Alistair joined her just in case.

"Morrigan." Kayden started.

"Kayden." She snapped back at him, the glare still in her eyes.

"I think he... poisoned me."

"I can tell. I'll take care of it as soon as we're done here."

"Thanks..."

Her gaze softened, and she seemed to want to add something else, but decided against it. Was she actually worried? "You are welcome."

"Wake him up," he heard Alistair say. Kayden looked away from Morrigan. The spell had worn off and Leliana had tied him up already. The elf was out cold, and with a loud thump, he hit the ground as soon as the ice melted off his legs and feet. Leliana didn't even need to do anything, because when he hit the ground, he jolted awake.

"I... rather thought I would wake up dead, or not at all as the case may be. I see you haven't killed me yet."

Kayden raised an eyebrow. "Well, I could rectify that. However I have some questions for you before I make that decision."

"Ah, so I am to be interrogated then? Let me save you some time. My name is Zevran, Zev to my friends."

That was almost too easy, Kayden thought as the elf told him about the Antivan Crows and how he was hired by Loghain to kill the surviving Grey Wardens. Something didn't seem quite right about this. Why would he just tell them everything without even just a little bit of resistance?

"And how do I know you're telling the truth, I wonder?"

Zevran laughed, "Well I wasn't paid to keep silent!"

The laugh didn't seem forced. In fact, it actually seemed genuine. Kayden looked over the man for a moment, not entirely sure what to say next. He hadn't really gotten much of a chance to look at him while they were fighting but now... He was gorgeous, everything about him. Kayden had to force himself to look away, something that would be quite rude under normal circumstances, but with a man tied up at his feet he didn't see how it mattered.

Kayden sighed and finally looked back. "So this means you are not loyal to Loghain then?"

"Loyalty? Now that is an interesting concept. If you wish, and you are done interrogating and staring at me, not that I mind, perhaps we can talk about it further."

Leliana giggled behind Kayden, and he felt his cheeks grow hot. Of course the elf would notice. Sly bastard. 

Zevran must have been planning something, but against his better judgment, Kayden helped him up and untied him. The elf gave him a proposition; his life was forfeit and the Crows would likely kill him eventually for failing is mission, so instead, he asked to join Kayden and his group. Right now, Kayden was in no position to turn down any help offered. He needed to stop the Blight and Loghain, and if the assassin really meant to help he could prove rather useful.

He was finding it hard to concentrate again but managed to get out, "I agree." Much to Alistair's dismay.

"Morrigan... did I mention... that I'm not... feeling so good?" He somehow got it all out before he finally collapsed.

\----------------------------------------------------

_  
Kayden's eyes went wide when he saw the boat that would be taking them across the Waking Sea to Amaranthine. It was a rather small boat, the nicer templar told him, but to a nine year-old it was a giant floating in the green water. The excited boy would have ran ahead of the templars onto the boat if the other templar hadn't stopped him. He stared at the man's helm for a moment, and returned to the nice templar's side. By this point, he had dubbed them Nice Templar and Mean Templar._

_Kayden didn't like the little cabin he was supposed to share with the templars, much preferring the deck. He enjoyed looking out over the sea, smelling the salty air and feeling the ocean spray on his face. When someone wasn't around to shoo him away, it was calm and relaxing and he tried his best to spend most of his time there, legs dangling over the side and looking at the horizon in the distance._

_Halfway through the first week, Nice Templar gave him a book to read,_ The Legend of Calenhad. _When he wasn't reading, Nice Templar told him stories of the Witches of the Wilds, the Dalish Elves, the Orlesian bards, and the ghosts that haunted West Hill, a fortress port in Ferelden just south of Kirkwall. Kayden was entranced by these stories, giving the templar his full wide-eyed and excited attention. The stories were almost as good as the ones his mother used to tell him._

_The voyage took nearly two weeks, and by the time they arrived in the city of Amaranthine, the entire crew knew Kayden by name. Most of them treated him cautiously, even fearfully, shooing him away on site. They believed he was a bad omen and they prayed constantly that they wouldn't be caught in a huge storm just by the boy's presence._

_From Amaranthine they rode on horseback, Kayden with Nice Templar while Mean Templar followed behind them. They stopped often in small towns along the way. Nice Templar continued to tell him stories while Mean Templar barely spoke to him. When he did, it had been the mean-spirited remark of a man who clearly hated mages. This was something Kayden had begun to think was normal among templar, even though Nice Templar was different. He was gentle and kind, not at all like any of the others he had met._

_"I'm sure any day now the Viscount will be swarming the Gallows, if he hasn't already. Good thing we're not there." Nice Templar had been speaking to Kayden in a soft tone, but all he could do was nod in response. If Mean Templar could hear them, he never responded._

_After a while, Kayden finally spoke. "You're protecting me then? Why?"_

_The man chuckled a bit and ran a hand through the boy's hair, "If I didn't, I think I'd regret it every day for the rest of my life."_

_This only made the 9 year-old more confused. He stiffed up a bit and pouted, but turned his gaze forward, watching the scenery pass by. This was his first ride on a horse after all._

_After a while he couldn't take the silence anymore. The hooves meeting road weren't nearly enough for him. "What is happening in Kirkwall then? Will I ever go back?"_

_"That is a lot to tell, but I believe the Grand Cleric in Orlais has something to do with it. No need to worry yourself about such things. And no, I don't suspect you will be going back. Not any time soon at least. You will be studying in the Ferelden Circle for a while yet."_

_And then he saw the Tower growing in the distance, larger with each step they took. It was a tall, dark figure amidst the grey skies. It loomed over the land like a ghost, a creature of death ready to call the souls back to the Dreams. This was to be his home, his prison, and he realized seeing the grand spire that it still wasn't nearly as terrifying as the Gallows on the outside. This building looked dark and cold, while the Gallows had screamed of pain, death, and suffering._

_When they finally reached the docks, they met by a kindly older man who was to ferry them across the lake to the island in the center. The island was where the Tower sat, hovering over them now. He looked up and up and up into the sky. The dark needle of the spire blotting out the sun and the thick shadow it cast loomed over them. He gulped and held tightly to Nice Templar._

_The ride wasn't long, maybe fifteen minutes before they reached the other side. Nice Templar helped him out, as Mean Templar simply watched. They ushered him through grand doors into the Tower's entrance hall._

_Another templar was there waiting for them. He must have known about their arrival beforehand. He didn't wear the helm of the templar so Kayden could see that his short dark hair and well-trimmed beard were starting to grey with age. He took an instant dislike to this man. Nice Templar stopped to talk to him, but Kayden was pushed to continue toward another set of doors without even a chance to say goodbye._

_"Ah, and there you are Templar -"_

_Kayden cursed himself for not being able to hear the man's name, as quickly as he was being rushed away, but he looked back and he saw the templar take off his helm. Blue eyes met his, deep blue, the color of lyrium and long hair, white as snow, just like his. He knew he would regret not asking the man about himself._

_The templar smiled._

_Then he heard whispering. Someone was calling to him. The hall around him began to grow dark as if someone were snuffing out all the lights. When he looked back, the templar was gone, and in his place darkspawn. The room was gone, and the light with it, but he saw the darkspawn still, and up on a high rocky cliff the dragon. He was compelled to go to it, its very presence tugging at his legs._

_He felt weak as he was forced forward. The dragon turned its gaze to him and all the darkspawn stopped. They saw him and he couldn't run away, he could only move closer, ever closer. But they didn't attack. They seemed to be welcoming him instead. In fact, they seemed to be urging him closer to the dragon._

_Kayden tried to scream, but no sound came out. He couldn't halt his steps._

_The dragon roared._

\----------------------------------------------------

Kayden shot up, blankets falling to his waist. He was shaking and covered in sweat. The dragon had appeared to him again, or he had appeared to it. He wasn't sure. Did the darkspawn know where he was? Did he even know where he was? 

He looked around. He was in a tent, no shirt on, his arms bandaged. Alive at least, he thought. Then he remembered. They had been ambushed on their way to Redcliffe. He had been poisoned. Had Morrigan treated his wounds and the poison? Most likely. This was the second time she had patched him up. He'd never hear the end of this.

What was worse... he passed out in front of the assassin. The terribly sexy assassin. Kayden cursed himself. "I hate my life."

He pulled the covers back up over his face. He didn't want to leave the tent. How could he let them see him now? He wished he could just die of embarrassment. That would be more merciful than having to meet all their faces again after that. How could he have been so stupid? If he had gone into that fight using his magic right away the elf never would have touched him, but he had had something to prove. He wanted to get better, he didn't want the others to think he was some silly weak mage dependent completely on his magic. After all, being a mage had brought him nothing but pain his entire life.

But Morrigan was right, he was stubborn. Too stubborn. If things had gone wrong and he had refused to fall back on magic they really could have all died back there; he could have died. Too much was at stake for that with the Blight and civil war likely creeping up on the Ferelden people. He really did have to let his duty as a Grey Warden come first. 

Kayden's head fell into his hands. How could he do that? How could he, who had only just taken his Harrowing, stop the Blight? He had only just become a Warden, and already so much rode on his shoulders, it was almost too much to bear. He had never asked for this. 

There was no going back now.

Kayden pushed the blankets aside, and stepped out of the tent, not bothering to put his robes on over his trousers.

Alistair sat by the fire, a piece of wood in one hand and a knife in the other. 

"Bad dreams?" he asked, setting the items aside.

Kayden nodded and sat down next to his friend and gestured with his head towards the bandages, "Morrigan?"

"Yeah, she was the one to bandage you up after we forced the assassin to give us an antidote."

"What did you do with him?"

"He's fine. He's in his tent, minding his own business. Or so I'd hope after the stern talk he got."

"Stern talk?"

"Don't worry about it. We trust you, no one hurt him if that's what you're thinking."

Kayden nodded again, "These dreams. I saw a dragon. It seemed so real."

"Well it is real, sort of. All Wardens get those dreams. Some learn to live with them, sometimes they fade away after a while. You'll get used to it." Alistair picked up the wood and knife again and went back to carving.

"Is that the archdemon?"

"Maybe. This is how we know it's a real Blight. Kade, you really need to get some more sleep. We are planning to leave at sun up. We'll likely reach Redcliffe by noon if all goes well."

"Yeah, okay. I'll do that then." He looked back toward his tent, then to Alistair again, "Thanks for talking to me."

"That's what I'm here for. Giving people bad news." And then under his breath, "Maker knows there's more of that to come."

Kayden pretended not to hear. He really did need the sleep and he could always ask Alistair what he meant later. He opened the flap on his tent and slid in again, laying back against his bedroll and staring at the cloth above him. His arms were throbbing, but he forced himself to relax, breathing slow and deep. Soon he drifted off once more.

\----------------------------------------------------

"Okay, so let me get this straight. You want me to get a drunk that locked himself into the smithy to repair all the armor, ask the knights if they need anything, and try to persuade a stubborn dwarf to come out and fight? Why do I get the feeling I've just become an errand boy?" Kayden asked, firmly planting his face in his palm.

"You did not complain about that in Lothering, Kayden," Morrigan reminded him. She sounded just as annoyed as he did, however.

"This is pointless. There are no darkspawn here." Sten finally spoke. 

"Usually, I'd agree with you, Sten, but we need to get to the castle and seek the aid of the arl."

"Why do we need him?"

"He has knights. We need an army..."

Kayden really hated having to explain himself.

"Not to mention we need him to help us stop Loghain. When he hears about what Loghain did at Ostagar-"

"Alistair! I know, you go talk to the knights! Do they know you too? Or is it just Teagan that knows you?"

"Some of them might remember me."

"Good, you go talk to the knights. Don't forget to mention the barrels of oil to them. Maybe they'll be useful tonight."

"Don't forget, Owen is most important. We need all our armor repaired," came Murdock's grisly voice. 

"I'll talk to him first then. Leliana, Morrigan, will you go find Kaitlyn's younger brother?"

"So you are to send me to do something meaningless then?" Morrigan protested, "And you plan to take the elf with you?"

"Sten's coming with me too."

"I'm here you know. I can hear you," Zevran said. The witch just glared at him.

Kayden hadn't even thought of where to send Zevran, but he couldn't send the assassin off on his own. He didn't trust the man, none of them did. He'd have to stay with Kayden and Sten for now.

"Just... go find him, Morrigan."

Morrigan sighed, "Fine, fine. I'll do it, but you owe me."

"I owe you for more than just that."

"Ha! Well, I should have to open a tab for you then. By the time you've stopped the Blight, you will owe me your firstborn." Morrigan joked.

Kayden shuddered, "I should hope not!"

"Right. Now make yourself useful, Tower-Boy, and do keep yourself in one piece, no secret poisons this time." 

"Just go!"

The women laughed as they walked away and Kayden turned to Sten and Zevran, "Maker, when did I become a teasing magnet?"

"Probably when you started carrying a sword," Sten offered. "It is your own fault. You are a mage, why change that?"

Kayden threw his arms into the air, "I give up. Alright let's go see the blacksmith."

Owen was drunk, the door to the smithy locked. Though it didn't take long to persuade him to unlock the door and let them in, it was clear it would take a bit more to get him to work. His daughter, the Arlessa's maid, was stuck in the castle while the dead were terrorizing the town. He didn't know if she was alive, but he refused to help the town without a promise from Kayden that he would look for her while he was in Redcliffe Castle. He was already tired of the blacksmith, and there were other things he needed to do. He made the promise.

"Is that a promise you plan to keep?" Sten asked.

"What was that?" Owen looked at the Qunari.

"I said nothing to you, human!"

"Right, well, I have your word, Warden?"

Kayden nodded, "Yes, I will look for her."

"Alright, I'll get to work then."

They left the blacksmith's house, Kayden rubbing his temples, "When we're done at Dwyn's, let's go to the tavern then."

"Ah, planning on getting drunk before the battle tonight? Good plan!" The elf teased.

"No, but a drink would be nice, don't you agree?"

"Yes, yes I do. A drink would be marvelous right about now. I hope there will be women there too."

Kayden rolled his eyes, "Pah, women. And here I thought we sent them away."

"Do I sense sarcasm, my friend?"

"Oh no, not at all," he deadpanned, scratching the back of his head.

They found the dwarf's small house. Kayden knocked, but there was no answer. The door was locked, hopelessly jammed. With the impending battle that night, he figured the man probably locked himself in there and wasn't planning to come out until everything was over.

"Coward..." He said, "I'm kicking the door down. Any objections?"

Sten shook his head and Zevran said, "None from me."

"Good." Kayden grinned and turned back to the door. He'd always wanted to do this, now was a good time as any to let out a little steam. With a Qunari and an assassin watching him, he decided he didn't want to look stupid if he tried kicking it down and it did not work. He expected he would fail. So he decided to cheat, it was unlikely that they'd notice anyway.

Kayden focused for brief second, then brought up his leg, and slammed it into the door, pushing just enough magic into it to break the lock. The door swung open. He grinned. It wasn't too flashy, hopefully believable enough for them not to notice.

"Hey! What in the... Why did you break into my house?" Came the angry response inside. Kayden looked in, seeing the dwarf flanked by two men. Bodyguards he guessed. He might have looked the same way with a giant and an assassin at his side. 

The Qunari ducked through the door and pointed to the other side of the room, "That is my sword."

Kayden glared at the dwarf, "Where did you get that?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but I bought it," The dwarf answered, but when he looked at the Qunari he added, "But the man never told me he took it off a live giant. Look, I spent a lot of money on it..."

"I have a better idea," Kayden started, "Your life or the sword. Pick."

"I like living, so just take the sword and get out."

The Qunari went to the other side of the room and took the sword. It was like watching a reunion. That sword was more than just a weapon to him. 

"If you don't need anything else, please just leave," the dwarf said again when he noticed Kayden wasn't budging.

"There is one more matter. The battle tonight."

"Oh no, I'm staying in here, there ain't nothin' getting me out of this house tonight. Now just leave so I can bolt the door back again..." He looked at the door. It was barely on the hinges anymore as it was. It would take some work to get it back into place.

"I shouldn't be surprised by this," Kayden started, "Everyone always has to be a right pain in the ass when I'm having a bad day. The lot of you realize I'm a mage, right?" He really hated having to resort to something like that. He gritted his teeth a bit, and then one of Dwyn's men spoke up.

"I don't want to be turned into a toad, boss." It was a whisper, barely audible. He obviously hadn't wanted Kayden to hear him.

Kayden narrowed an eyebrow, "Look at me! No really, look at me. Good, becoming a toad would be the least of your worries. Oh no, I'd do worse, FAR worse. Now get out before I break more than your damn door."

"I'm going. You can tell Murdock he won," the defeated dwarf said, slinking out of his tiny house.

When he was gone, Zevran turned to look at him, "My my aren't you violent. Would you really have killed him?"

"I was prepared to." Kayden snorted.

Sten made a sound, though Kayden wasn't sure what sort of sound it was meant to be, "I heard about your first kill."

Kayden cringed, "Let's not talk about that, shall we?" Certainly not in front of Zevran, he thought. The elf, of course, was amused by the turn of events and pressed Sten for details. He was refused of course. Good thing Sten wasn't really the talkative type. Word really did travel fast in their little group though, and he was sure Leliana would end up telling Zevran eventually anyway. He, however, did not plan on being around when she did.

\----------------------------------------------------

The undead were just as expected, mindless bodies of decaying flesh, practically falling apart at most joints, and they came at their small force in waves. Because of the barrels of oil however, things were a little more interesting than that; they came in waves of _burning_ , decaying flesh. They weren't particularly strong. The main problem was just how many of them there were. They just kept coming! 

A song rose up over the village. A song of sorrow, war, and victory. Leliana's voice carried the men and they fought for their home.

When Kayden finally thought they were done, someone came from the town below saying more undead were coming from the lake. Great, just what they needed. 

Kayden, Sten, Alistair and Zevran made their way toward the Chantry to join the other group of men, including the fat bartender that Kayden had persuaded to come out and fight. He had been another coward planning to lock himself in the tavern's cellar that night. Nice to see he was pulling his weight, quite literally.

This time, however, they didn't have fire to aid them in killing these and Kayden found out quickly that his ice spells didn't have much of an affect on them unless he could completely freeze them in place. Doing that, however, would risk injury to the other men around him. Kayden had to rely almost completely on his sword. Though this time, it was different. After breaking down the door earlier, he realized he could put some magic into his movement. He hit faster and harder, but that was the extent of what he could do for the moment. It wasn't a huge improvement but it certainly helped. 

His goal that night had been to impress the assassin, but with the undead pretty much being pushovers, he hardly thought he stood out at all. It wasn't really a bad thing though, because when the sun began coming up and the undead stopped coming, he saw the toll they took on the village. A few wounded, but none dead. It all had gone rather well really.

Alistair patted his back later, "Much better. What did you do?"

Kayden grinned, "I cheated."

Alistair raised an eyebrow and laughed. "You should have been doing that from the beginning you know. Well that makes things easier on me, but not on you. Training's going to get harder from now on."

"What are you going to do? Use your Templar powers to keep me from using my magic for physical combat?"

"Nope, you keep doing that. Maker knows it can only help. I'm just going to stop holding back. We're probably going to need to put you in armor though. If you plan on being in the middle of a fight, those robes of yours aren't going to help at all."

"You're right. I guess I could benefit from a decent set of armor."

This felt good. Alistair had not been the person he set out to impress, but Alistair was his trainer after all, and impressing his trainer was always a good thing, no? He cleaned off his blade as Bann Teagan stepped up to the porch outside the Chantry and addressed the villagers, proclaiming their victory.


	5. Bound in Blood Part I

"Say that again, Templar!" Kayden yelled, bringing himself to his feet.

Alistair took a step back, a confused look on his face. "Blood magic is evil, why are you defending this man?"

"He is NOT evil. This is my best friend, I've known him since we were children. Look what _they_ did to him."

Kayden looked back at his friend, covered in blood and bruises, and he was sure Jowan's arm might have been broken. Jowan told him that after he ran away from the Tower, he was hired by Loghain to poison the Arl and he came to Redcliffe under the guise of a tutor teaching the Arl's son in magic. This was meant to be secret of course. Isolde, the Arl's wife, did not want their son to be sent to the Circle.

Jowan had surely been in the wrong place at the wrong time, but what happened at Redcliffe, other than a poisoned arl, was not his fault. From the sound of it, the boy let the demon in due to his inexperience. He wasn't prepared to enter the Fade. Morrigan agreed.

"Stay still, I'm going to try to heal you." Kayden knelt over his friend again. He wasn't a skilled healer, but he'd do his best. If Alim were here, Jowan's broken arm would be mended by now. Even with Kayden's treatment, Jowan looked better at least. He'd have to get Jowan proper medical care when he could.

"I need to do something," Jowan started, "I can't keep running away. I have to help them. It's my fault..."

"It's not your fault. You didn't know the boy would do this." Kayden extended his hand to his friend and added, "You should know by now all mages attract demons. Can you stand?"

Jowan nodded. "I can try. You're really not very good at healing, are you? You should have paid more attention in class." He took Kayden's hand. It took some effort, but he finally got Jowan on his feet.

"We're not taking the Blood Mage with us," Alistair said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Are you serious? We took in Sten even though he killed a whole family, children included, so he could 'atone'. Jowan hasn't killed anyone... yet."

"But he's a blood mage. For all we know, he could be under mind control right now."

Kayden shook his head. "He's not that strong. Not yet at least. No offense, Jowan."

"None taken."

"Plus, he wants to help. If he thinks he can help put things right again, that's commendable, don't you agree?"

"I for one, think he deserves a second chance," Zevran agreed. Kayden looked at the elf. He had been unusually silent ever since they entered the castle. Normally, the group couldn't get him to shut up.

Alistair sighed in resignation and relaxed a bit, letting his arms drop to his sides. "Three mages and an assassin against an ex-templar. How ironic things would turn out like this."

"You know Alistair, of the two remaining Wardens, are you not the senior? Is it normal that you allow your junior to lead?" Morrigan asked, the amused look of a Cheshire cat on her face.

Alistair gave her a sidelong glance. "What do you want to hear?"

"You know, I never asked to lead either. If you have input, Alistair, you really should speak up," Kayden offered.

"What? Lead? Me? No, no, no. No leading. Bad things happen when I lead. We get lost, people die, and the next thing you know I'm stranded somewhere without any pants!"

Zevran seemed to perk up after hearing that. "This I'd like to see."

"They answer is no. Now please, can we just continue?"

Morrigan and Kayden laughed, and Jowan finally spoke up again, "Seems you've met some rather... colorful people, Kade?"

"You don't know that half of it. Back in town there's a Qunari and a Chantry sister that says the Maker told her in a dream to join us. I also seem to have come into the possession of a Mabari."

Jowan shook his head. "It's only been a few weeks since we left the tower and so much has happened. Do you know what happened to Lily?" 

"This is a touching reunion and all, but we have things to do, don't we? There are walking dead about and you just want to talk. Am I the only sane one here?" Morrigan asked, as she continued forward.

"I'll... follow, if that's alright. I want to help, but I don't really want to be in the middle of it all."

"Whatever you say, Jowan."

The group followed Morrigan deeper into the castle dungeons. It was cold and water dripped onto the floor from cracks. Kayden half expected to be attacked by a swarm of giant spiders. He cringed at the thought, remembering a time back at the Tower when one of the senior enchanters had asked him to clear out an infestation of spiders in the store room. No wonder Jowan kept his distance. 

They needed to get into the castle proper, but they didn't know the layout of the dungeons. Alistair had lived here, but they didn't expect him to know the layout of the dungeons. Children weren't often allowed in places like this, after all.

The group turned a corner into a long hall with a narrow stairway at the end. They hurried towards the stairway, not wanting to stay in the dreary dungeons any longer. Kayden couldn't help looking in the cells as they walked by. The cells were larger here and didn't seem to have any doors on them. They must have been used for something else at some point but Kayden was unsure. The first one was empty, the second one too, but when they came to the third one, they saw a body. No, there were two bodies, and in the next one their were more. They were covered in flies and the smell...

"Let's... hurry to the stairs," Kayden suggested. Their quickened steps were their silent agreement. Seeing the dead walking the previous night gave them all the more reason to continue, hoping with each step that the bodies here didn't stand up and attack them. However, luck was not on their side. As they narrow staircase grew closer, one of the bodies did stand up, blocking their path. Before he realized it, the group was surrounded.

Zevran disappeared into the shadows, but Kayden did not miss the elf curse under his breath before he was gone. Alistair drew his sword and Kayden followed suit. Kayden focused his magic again, pushing what he could into his movements like the night before. Why couldn't the dead just stay dead?

They fought their way through the undead and up the stairs. The hall beyond it was littered with more of them. They were swarmed. He knew that the only way for them to advance through the castle would be to take out as many as they could. So on they went, cutting down undead as the came. He found himself watching Zevran each time he emerged from the shadows, taking down undead quickly and cleanly. 

At the end of the hall, they found Valena hiding in a small room. He told her the way they came was safe and to hurry back to her father. They continued on, but the door to the main hall was locked and no one had the skills to pick it.

"So where do we go now?" Kayden looked to Alistair. If anyone knew he would.

"Follow me." Alistair took them through the kitchens and to the cellar. Luckily, there were no undead there for them to fight, and they soon reached another staircase leading up to the main courtyard. The group came to the locked gates and opened them for the knights. Mission one success, Kayden thought with a grin. There wasn't much left. Now they needed to go in and find out exactly what had happened. With the knights, the undead would be much easier to fight if they came across them.

"The main hall is through these doors then?" Kayden asked. As the group collected in the center of the courtyard, the knights talking amongst themselves. Alistair nodded. Whatever was inside waiting for them was through those doors. Undead or demons. Undead were new to him, but Kayden was not unfamiliar with demons; he had to fight one in the Fade during his Harrowing after all. But Rage demons weren't the only type of demon. He was no fool, he would be prepared.

A hand was placed on his back. Kayden jumped. His wide-eyed gaze turned behind him and the elf chuckled. "Your attention is elsewhere, my friend."

"Don't... do that," Kayden managed to say. The elf laughed again and leaned closer, "You really do need to pay attention, we can't afford to have you daydreaming all the time."

Kayden draped an arm over Zevran's shoulders. "I am paying attention. How would you like to fight a demon unarmed?"

"That would be suicide. No, you are not paying attention, otherwise, you would have noticed me,." the elf replied, skillfully dodging Kayden's threat.

Kayden shrugged. "I've had to do it before."

Zevran looked over the man for a moment, carefully considering. Then he shook his head. "I'm not entirely sure I believe that. No offense, Warden."

"It was part of my..." Kayden was cut off when an earsplitting wail came from the far side of the courtyard and everyone covered their ears. Only seconds later, Kayden found himself on his back, staring at the grey, cloudy sky. He had been dragged away from the group and toward the stone wall. 

A large axe came down with a whoosh, landing right next to his ear, narrowly missing his head and sheering off a bit of his hair. 

"Holy Andraste's knickers!" He looked up to see a large undead monster wearing thick plated armor. He heard the metal of the knight's armor rustling and the clanging sounds of steel all around him. This thing wasn't the only monster attacking them.

Kayden rolled away as the axe came down for a second try and he kicked at the revenant's knees. As his boot hit bone, it let out another deafening wail. Kayden cried out, the sound reverberating though every inch of his being threatening to rip him apart. This was the first time he'd ever been subjected to a sonic attack and even after it was over, his ears were ringing and something hot was trickling down his jaw. Blood?

An arrow flew by him, hitting the ground a few meters to his left. He cringed and looked back at the revenant. He kicked at it again, then rolled back to his feet and blocked another sweep of the axe with Oathkeeper. He channeled his magic through the weapon, trying to force the creature back against the wall.

"So, you wanna play, huh? Well I have a game for you! It's called 'Let's see who can stay still the longest!'" He let a spell loose, stunning the creature. He wondered how long that would last; this thing was rather strong, stronger than the other undead they had been fighting. But every second without one of those Banshee wails was good for him. 

He didn't wait for the spell to wear off. A good, clean stroke, and he took the revenant's head. "Looks like I lost the game. Oh well, we can always play again another time."

"I'm not so sure, it looks like there was an order for his beheading." Zevran chuckled behind him. He heard the thump of another undead hitting the ground.

"What a shame. I do like that game."

"Well don't look at me, I rather like being able to move."

Kayden laughed. "I know a good spell for that. Better than the one I just used. A lot more fun."

"Are you trying to bed me? You know you could just ask."

Kayden turned around this time and raised an eyebrow. "Are you like this with everyone?"

"Mostly." Zevran hummed. Kayden rolled his eyes and joined the rest of the group since the remainder of the undead had been defeated.

He met Morrigan's gaze as he reached the stairs. "Are you done flirting with the assassin?"

"I don't know what -"

" 'I know a good spell for that'? Please, I can tell," she said, cutting him off. "That man tried to kill you the other day, and he could have succeeded. 'Tis best you keep that in mind and not get too close to him."

"I appreciate the advice, Morrigan, but I think I can take care of myself."

"That is to be seen. Just don't... let your guard down."

Kayden sighed. "I'm sorry. I understand what you are trying to say. You don't need to worry."

Morrigan's lip curled in disgust. "I am not worried!" She quickly turned away and ascended the stairway.

Alistair walked up behind him. How much he had heard, Kayden wasn't sure, but if Morrigan thought he was being flirty with Zevran, the others likely did too. "Total bitch, right? Come on, let's go. Hopefully, we made it in time."

"I hope you're right."

They entered the castle again, this time through the large wooden doors at the gate that led to the main hall. Teagan was safe, alive at least. However, he and the knights were under some sort of a charm and he was dancing for the amusement of a child. The child stopped Teagan and his gaze turned to the woman standing next to him. It was Isolde, the woman they met by the windmill a few hours ago, Teagan's sister-in-law.

"What is this, mother?" He asked, gesturing towards Kayden. His voice was not the voice of a child. Jowan had been right.

"He's just a man, Connor, like your father."

"Oh, I'm flattered. Funny how most people seem to treat me as if I were an abomination like your son."

"He is NOT an abomination!"

Kayden shrugged. "Sure could have fooled me."

Connor became angry. Kayden wasn't at all like his father; he wasn't on the verge of death. Things quickly turned ugly. Teagan and the bewitched men attacked as Connor ran off. The unaffected knights helped, and they tried their best not to injure the men. A good beating brought them back to their senses. Alistair and Isolde were both grateful that Teagan was still in one piece. Now to deal with Connor.

After talking to Isolde and Jowan, they learned that Connor had made a deal with a demon within the Fade to keep his father alive. The demon was controlling Connor from there, and not actually possessing him.

"So we can fix this then?" Kayden asked.

"Yes, but it would require entering the Fade. Usually it requires a few mages and a lot of lyrium, but I know of a ritual that can send you into the Fade. This would require blood though, life energy and a lot of it... All of it."

"Blood magic! Just what we need!" Alistair yelled. "Two evils don't make things right!"

"I can do it," Isolde said, stepping forward, "If my son has a chance to live, I will sacrifice myself for him."

"Are you sure about this?" Teagan asked, worry in his voice.

Kayden shook his head. The Circle was just across the lake. If Teagan could supply them with a boat, they might have enough time to go there and seek the aid of the Circle and enter the Fade without another death on their hands. Maker knew this family had already been through a lot.

"I have a better plan. I'm going to go to the Circle and bring more mages here. Don't worry, you'll get your chance to redeem yourself. You trust me, right?"

Jowan nodded slowly. "Of course I do. I know you once called me friend, but-"

"Right right," Kayden interrupted, "cut the mushy crap, we'll talk about this later. Now you be a good boy and wait here for me, okay?"

"It seems like I'm always waiting for you."

"Yeah, that seems to be our thing." He turned to Bann Teagan. "How soon can you have a boat ready?"

\----------------------------------------------------

Feathered pen slid across parchment, drawing the intricate formula of a new spell. It had been days since he had been able to sit down and work in his spell journal and the calm, relaxing glide of the boat across the lake put him in just the right mood to work. Below the diagrams, he wrote in detail how the spell would work and how to control the magical energies used. It was almost done and he'd soon be able to write the final version neatly into his Spellbook. It was perfect.

He was listening to the sounds of the waves, the light breeze, and the bustle of the boat's crew as he worked. Taking in and trying to memorize movement patterns and footsteps and trying to distinguish between the sounds made by them and his friends that he had brought with him on the short trip. Alistair he knew was talking to some of the crew on the other side of the main deck, but Zevran he hadn't seen in at least an hour.

It was fine though. It was nice to have some quiet time to himself, something he seemed to be missing more and more recently as his privacy became smaller the larger his group became. It was hard to tell that it had really been almost a month since he had left the tower. Study time had been something he had taken for granted.

It was then that he heard footsteps. Not one of the crew, and not Alistair. Zevran, he thought. Trying to test him again most likely, but he would be ready this time. He was not going to be caught off guard. The footsteps stopped a few feet behind him. He didn't wait for Zevran; instead, he reached behind him and grabbed Zevran by the arm. 

He was clumsy, and instead of pulling the assassin to sit next to him, he practically knocked Zevran over, and a few seconds later he was sprawled across Kayden's lap. Maybe Zevran had done it on purpose. Kayden blushed and looked away, quickly trying to compose himself and pull the assassin off of him.

"S... sorry," he managed to say, helping the elf straighten up. Zevran seemed a bit surprised, but more amused than anything.

"You were paying attention this time," Zevran said, taking a seat next to Kayden. "Your hands are freezing. Are you feeling alright?"

"My hands?" Kayden looked down at his hands for a moment. They didn't feel any different than usual. Were they really that cold? He shook his head. "I feel just fine."

He lifted the pen and continued writing in his journal. The spell was just about done, it only needed a few more components to the formula. 

Zevran reached for his right hand and Kayden flinched a bit, looking over at the elf, but then allowed him to take it. His hands were warm and soft and they began gently rubbing Kayden's palm. It felt nice. "Is it really that cold?" He asked, his other hand still hard at work.

Zevran nodded. "Very. What are you working on?"

"It's a spell."

"Really? What language is that?"

Kayden put the pen down and looked at Zevran again. "It's not written in a specific language. That's my personal cipher."

Zevran looked the page over for a moment, trying to understand it. "Why would you write your spells in a cipher?"

"It's not just any cipher, it's a magic cipher. This is how I was taught to scribe my spells. From what I've heard most mages do this so that people can't read their spellbooks. Even if you are a mage you need a spell to read someone else's spellbook or you need to learn their cipher. It's kind of a privacy thing."

"Why go through such lengths for that?"

Kayden shrugged. "In the tower, privacy was hard to come by. Anything you could do to make things more personal and private were things we learned to appreciate. This was one such thing."

Zevran nodded. "I can understand that. I never had much privacy growing up either. What was it like growing up at the tower?"

"You don't want me to bore you with tower life." Kayden chuckled, trying not to look Zevran in the eye. He had hated his life in the tower and had wished every day to be able to leave. To go outside even and see the sun directly and not through one of those tiny windows. He remembered one of the templar telling him the only other way out was through a window and he didn't recommend trying it. He had laughed at the time, but the windows were way too small for him to climb out of, unless of course he was a six year-old elf.

"I'm sure it's not that boring, but if you really don't want to talk about it, I won't force you."

"I didn't fit in, from the day I went there. How could someone like me?" Kayden's head dropped in his hands. "People usually look at mages as if they are demons just waiting to awaken, but even the apprentices treated me like one. I thought that being there would be different, being around people like me. No one there was like me. Not a single one."

Zevran put an arm around Kayden's shoulder. "And why would you want to be like everyone else? Now that really would be boring. You're fine just the way you are."

Kayden looked back at Zevran for a moment. Did he really mean that? It had been terrible being so different while he was there, but he was now a full-fledged mage of the Circle and a Grey Warden. He had a chance to prove that he wasn't the demon they had made him out to be. All of a sudden, he began feeling incredibly foolish for letting Zevran see him acting like this. 

He straightened up in his seat and looked over his journal for a moment before closing it and putting it and his pen away.

"I'm sorry, Zevran. What is it you want to know about the tower?"

"Zev."

"What?"

"I told you before, it's Zev to my friends. And we are friends, yes?"

Kayden smiled. "Alright. Zev it is then. But from now on you will stop calling me 'Warden'. It's Kade to my friends."


	6. Bound in Blood Part II

His back hit the wall with surprising force. Kayden tried his best to hide behind his cold, lyrium gaze as the angry apprentice glared at him. The boy was becoming more and more frustrated at Kayden's lack of response while his friends fidgeted behind him, wary of getting too close.

"Don't think just because Enchanter Torrin excused you that you will get off that easily!" 

Kayden's eyes met the apprentice's for a moment and he raised an eyebrow. What had happened, while Kayden's fault, had been purely accidental. He was told this, but he didn't believe a word of it, none of this friends did either. 

A dark-haired elf looked up from his book across the room, a shocked expression on his face. He quickly looked back to his reading material, most likely hoping he would not be noticed as he sank down into his chair. If the other apprentices noticed, they didn't say anything.

"Come on Dilon, you're wasting your time. He never talks to anyone except that creepy Jowan kid." One of his friends tried reasoning with him. He took a step back, but the others were beginning to become more bold and circled around Dilon and Kayden. Dilon ignored his friend.

"Just because you're the First Enchanter's star doesn't mean you're better than any of us!" Dilon spat, clenching tightly at Kayden's collar, stretching the fabric. The fabric of fresh, new robes. It didn't matter to Kayden how angry the apprentice got, he would not give in.

"Say something, Fade-boy!" Dilon yelled again.

"You should listen to your friend. You are wasting your time," he finally said, lyrium eyes gleaming in defiance as they captured the ambient light.

Dilon's face grew red. If it was possible for his eyes to narrow more, they were now. He looked to one of his friends for a moment, then his fiery gaze met lyrium again. Kayden didn't notice the fist until it collided with his face throwing it to the side and slamming against the stone wall, leaving a harsh scrape on his cheek. The blow had been full of electricity and he felt his nerves tingle painfully in the aftermath, his jaw white-hot. 

The dark-haired elf got up, panic-stricken, and ran from the room. The others didn't seem to notice, their eyes watching the scene, waiting to see if they might be needed. Kayden did not fight back as he still was trying to recover the first blow, but before it could completely sink in, Dilan landed another. This time to his stomach.

Kayden lurched forward, clutching his stomach. He tried to breath, but his lungs didn't seem to want to work. Two of Dilon's friends grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him up. They turned him around and pushed him against the wall, his face hitting the cold, rough stone again. What were they doing now? He couldn't be completely sure, but he heard the sound of snipping and shearing. 

The two holding his shoulders laughed as Dilon finished and they followed him out of the room. Kayden slumped to the floor, lifting a long strand of silver hair. His hair. He had been letting it grow out long just like the nice templar's, the man he had assumed was his father. Besides the occasional gift, this was all he had to remember him by. And now...

The dark-haired elf entered the room again, Jowan and Niall in tow. The elf watched by the door as the two rushed over to Kayden. He clung desperately to Jowan, soft sobs escaping his lips. "My hair... they cut my hair..."

Niall ran a hand through Kayden's hair. It was sloppy and jagged, and it wasn't the same length throughout. They stayed with him for a few minutes, letting him cry on the older boy's shoulder before helping him up and walking him to the washroom. Niall wet a rag and cleaned the scrape on Kayden's cheek. It was dirty and bleeding, but it wasn't bad. It was an easy heal.

"This has to stop. You need to tell one of the enchanters," Niall said as he gently patted the rag over his cheek. He turned to Jowan and instructed him to bring a pair of shears so he could fix Kayden's hair.

"I... can't," Kayden said, shaking his head. His jaw ached as he spoke and he found himself opening it and stretching to feel the sharp pain over and over again, fascinated by the sensation. Dilon had used some sort of electricity spell and it almost felt as if his jaw were about to go numb. "They already hate me because the First Enchanter himself tutors me. If I say anything it will only make things worse."

"We have to do something about this or it will never stop. I can go to an enchanter myself if I have to," Niall insisted. Jowan handed him the shears he asked for and Niall set to work evening out Kayden's hair.

"That is not... necessary. Your Harrowing is coming up, you need to be focusing on that."

"Niall is right, Kade. We really need to do something about them." Kayden looked over at Jowan, but Niall gently moved his head back into place so he could continue cutting.

"I can't do it. Let's just stop talking about it now..." He glued his eyes to the floor and they stayed silent for a while as he memorized the flecks in the stone and the way the light hit it, leaving many portions appear to be glittering. His eyes drew lines between the specks.

After a while, Kayden finally spoke up again. "That elf from earlier... with the dark hair that went to get you, who is he?"

Niall set the shears aside and looked over Kayden's hair, then ushered him over to one of the vanities so he could see it in the looking glass.

"Oh, that's Alim. He's a friend of mine, just a year younger than you. Maybe I'll introduce the two of you some time."

Kayden nodded absent-mindedly as he looked over his hair in the looking glass. It was too short for his taste, but it didn't look terrible. Niall had always been the one to take care of his hair for him though, he trusted Niall with it, but...

He fought back tears again. It would be a while before he got used to this, but it was just hair, right? He could grow it back if he wanted to. But even so, it still hurt. He looked from Niall to Jowan, then back at the floor again.

"Thank you," he said slowly, his gaze shifting back toward the floor.

"What are friends for?" Jowan said, putting a reassuring arm around Kayden's shoulder. Kayden flinched at first, but quickly relaxed against Jowan with a deep breath.

Niall ruffled Kayden's hair, "Let's go get supper, alright?"

These were his friends. They were both a few years his senior, but they were always there for him whenever he needed someone. Around them he always felt safe.

"Okay, I'd like that."

\-------------------------------

Even with the gentle and relaxing rhythm of the rocking boat beneath him, Kayden couldn't help but feel dread in the pit of his stomach as they grew closer and closer to the Tower looking in the distance. Suddenly, he felt like a child again, on his way to that cold, dark prison where he lived for ten years. But back then he had the nice templar to cling to. The nice templar that he never saw again after that day.

As they grew closer, he couldn't help but wonder; was going to the tower really the right thing to do? Sure, it would be a way to keep any more of the arl's family from dying, if things went their way, but he wasn't sure he really wanted to be back at the Tower. Things had gotten ugly before he became a Warden, and he was more than lucky Duncan was recruiting, otherwise... He didn't even want to think about where he'd be right now.

The little dock at the Tower was much too small for one of the arl's boats, and they found themselves docking on the shores of Lake Calenhad. He couldn't help but feel something was wrong as he led the way toward the ferry. Something was terribly wrong.

Kester, the ferryman, wasn't there, and in his place was a templar. This templar in particular was loosing it already from all the lyrium, but he knew this man, and for a moment the sense of dread subsided when he saw green hair.

It took everything to keep himself from laughing. Alim's work no doubt. Alistair and Zevran exchanged confused glances and Kayden held up a hand. He turned around and let it out. This wasn't a completely new thing from Alim, he'd done things like this to the templar before, usually the younger ones, but Carrol had always been his favorite to mess with. He shouldn't have been surprised, what he _should_ have been surprised about was why Carrol was manning the ferry.

When the laughter subsided, he walked out onto the small dock. The sense of dread hit him again as he looked over the tower.

"I need to get to the tower," Kayden said, getting to business right away. There wasn't much reasoning he could do with a lyrium-addicted templar. He really want to talk to the man more than he had to anyway.

"Shoo, Spook. Go away," the templar said, shifting from one foot to the other.

Kayden gritted his teeth. "You realize I'm a Grey Warden now, right? I have these papers-"

"I have papers too. They say I'm the Queen of Antiva," Carrol interrupted.

"Aren't queens usually female?" he asked. Zevran and Alistair seemed to be trying hard not to laugh now.

"Don't question royalty!"

"Someone's had way too much lyrium. Now enough of the games, let us cross."

"No, enough of _your_ games. I don't care who you are now. You've left the Tower, and what's going on here now is not Grey Warden business. So shoo, Spook."

"What kind of name is 'Spook' anyway? Last I checked, my handsome friend had a name," Zevran chimed in. Carrol stared at the elf for a moment, seemingly shocked, but he didn't respond.

"Handsome?" Kayden asked, bemused.

"Yes, handsome. Does that make you uncomfortable?"

"Pfft. Nope!" Kayden laughed, but before he could add more, Carrol cut back in. "This still doesn't change anything. I'm still not letting you cross." 

Kayden's sword was pointing at Carrol's throat before he had a chance to blink. "Let me rephrase that then; you WILL let us cross. NOW."

He wasn't sure what the others were thinking, but he could see that Zevran had his hands on his daggers, just in case. Kayden knew things weren't going to get ugly here, not now. Carrol had had too much lyrium and he knew he had pushed Carrol just far enough to get what he wanted today.

Carrol raised his arms in defeat. "Right, we're going to the tower then. Don't rock the boat! Don't wanna fall in! I hear there's sea monsters lurking about today!"

Zevran looked at the lake. "Are there really?"

"I find that hard to believe," Alistair replied.

"There are no monsters in the lake. The ferry is perfectly safe. Get in!" He ushered the two into the little boat, Carrol following behind them. 

"So pushy today. I like it!" Zevran said. He glanced at Kayden, but Kayden's eyes were fixed on the tower, the look in his eyes unsettling. Zevran looked at the tower too. It was unmistakable, something really was wrong.

"What's going on, Carrol?" Kayden asked, not taking his eyes off the tower.

"You should ask the commander. I wasn't told, he just said I had to watch the ferry. 'Let no one in!' he said." Carrol shook his head; he had failed at that job.

The rode in silence to the tiny dock at the base of the dark tower. Despite all his fears that maybe he shouldn't have come, it was too late now. Plus, they had the treaties and the Circle of Magi were part of the treaties. This would be killing two birds with one stone, right? They get help with the demon problem at Redcliffe and acquire mages for the army. So much could go wrong and for some reason he knew today was one of those days. 

The lights all seemed to be off on the top few floors; the templar's quarters, the harrowing chamber and the Great Hall, were all completely dark. The other floors had some scattered light, but not much.

"Maker's breath, what are we getting ourselves into today?" Alistair asked when they finally reached the dock and got out of the boat. It took all three of them to push open the main doors and they entered the hall. There were templar everywhere. Some were on the floor, covered in blood, while others were attending them. The large doors on the other side of the room were shut tight. There was another set of doors that he knew would take more than one man to open. 

"Look what we have here, a full-time Warden now? I'm glad to see you are still alive, but right now is not a good time."

"Are you really glad to see I'm alive, Greagoir? If I remember correctly the last time I saw you, you were wishing you had made me tranquil."

Alistair's head shot between the two of them, eyes wide. He knew full well the process of making one tranquil and he could not imagine Kayden...

"I was angry at the time, don't think I forgot about your part in Jowan's escape. But the past is the past and right now there are other things I need to worry about. This is not a problem for the Wardens."

Kayden crossed his arms over his chest. "You forget that I am not just a Warden, but a mage of this Circle. This was my home..." he started. He swallowed deeply; this had also been his prison. "Please, tell me what is going on here."

Greagoir sighed, and turned to look at the thick metal doors that led to the Apprentice Quarters. Then he explained what was going on. Uldred's uprising, blood mages, demons. So many were dead or had become abominations. He and the templar here were finally able to get away and close the doors behind them. He was now awaiting the Rite of Annulment.

"You can not annul the whole tower!" Kayden yelled. Greagoir actually looked sheepish for once. This was clearly something he didn't want, but he had seen no other choice. "I can't let that happen. Before someone can get back with the order, let me investigate. I'll look for survivors and make sure Uldred is dealt with."

" _We_ will look for survivors," Alistair added and Zevran nodded his agreement, placing a hand on Kayden's shoulder. Kayden silently thanked his friends. He was more than glad to have their support.

Greagoir seemed to consider this for a moment. He didn't believe anyone was left on the other side, but if there was any chance Irving was alive... "I will allow you to go, but know this; I will not open those doors again unless First Enchanter Irving himself is there to tell me the tower is secure. Do you understand?"

"Then I have my work laid out for me. I'm ready to go," Kayden replied. There were still people in the tower he cared about, and he hoped beyond hope that they were still alive. Alim, Niall... He hadn't been able to protect Jowan, but he still lived at least. He had to make sure his other friends were safe now too.

"There is one more thing," Greagoir interrupted his thoughts and pointed to the corner of the room near the Quartermaster. "A gift arrived for you the day after you left with Duncan."

"Is it from him?" Kayden asked, not specifying who 'him' was, but Greagoir knew. The templar nodded and added, "He left a letter this time. It's on the table, still sealed."

Kayden's eyes widened. A letter? That was unusual. "How did he know my size?" he asked still staring in the corner.

"We gave him the measurements taken when you were being fitted for your new robes. Now hurry. We don't have all day. Put them on and get going."

Kayden finally approached the gift. New robes and... armor. Alistair said he had needed armor. The style was similar to the templar armor, however, it was only half-plate with chain mail instead of the full breastplate. All of it, including the black robes, were covered in arcane runes. It was beautiful. 

He lifted the letter off the table and broke the seal. Zevran crowded around him, trying to read the letter. He apparently had no mind for personal space. "Who is it from?"

"My father... I think. It says in the letter that this was meant to be a gift for my Harrowing. But why would he get me armor for my Harrowing?"

"You think? You don't know if he is your father or not?"

Kayden shook his head. "I don't. I never really knew him, and no one told me he was. I just kind of got that feeling that he was. Didn't you know your father?"

"I never knew my father. I was raised by whores. Didn't I tell you that?"

"I... yes, you did. We talked about that last night, didn't we?" 

Alistair fidgeted behind them. Alistair knew who his father was, Kayden knew. But he had been a bastard and was raised by Eamon. His father's wife's brother. How confusing that must have been growing up. And Eamon's wife, Isolde hadn't been incredibly nice when Alistair was growing up in Redcliffe. Kayden decided it would be best to end the topic of fathers there, knowing it was an uncomfortable subject for Alistair.

"Do you think you could help me put this on?" Kayden finally asked. He'd never worn armor like this before and he wasn't sure he'd be able to even reach all the buckles.

Zevran grinned, "Do I get to watch you luridly as you take your robes off?"

Kayden stared at him for a moment, then turned to Alistair. "Will you help me?"

"Of course. I'm going to have to show you how to take care of this. This is really nice armor."

A few minutes later the huge doors closed behind them and the Apprentice Quarters lay before them. It was eerily quiet, though there was an occasional scream. Dead bodies littered the floor, mages and templar alike. There had been a lot of mages at the tower, enough that he hadn't known everyone there, but there were faces he recognized. Memories flooded back, memories he had tried to forget. 

Kayden shivered. If this really had been a bad idea, it was more than too late now. There was no going back, so with a deep breath, he pushed himself forward, trying not to identify all the bodies he passed along the way. Panic rose with each new body and he prayed to whoever would listen that Alim and Niall were not among the dead. 

After finding no survivors in the dormitories, he decided to move on. The group moved out into the hall and at the sound of an explosion and a myriad of crackling, screams, and others sounds he couldn't determine, they ran.

Just before the library, they found survivors. Wynne was dispatching a rage demon, and when she finished, she turned to address someone in the group.

"Alim Surana! That sort of magic is not good in close quarters like this! Think of the children!" She scolded.

Kayden's gaze moved from the old woman to a small elf, standing with the other survivors. His arms were across his chest and his dark hair messy. He looked terribly bored. Only Alim could manage to look bored when the world was falling apart around you. His robes were that of a full Circle mage, Kayden noticed. He had gone through his Harrowing while Kayden was away.

"No more Walking Bombs!" she added. He looked like he was about to protest, but his head turned to the side when he heard Kayden and his group running up. The elf's eyes lit up. He could only imagine how it looked to the other survivors, both full Circle mages and apprentices. One of the more religious ones turned away in disgust.

"Kade!" Alim exclaimed, running over to embrace him. "Wynne said you were at Ostagar, but she didn't know what happened to you. I'm so happy you're alive... With Jowan gone... So much has happened, Kade."

"I see. Congratulations on your Harrowing."

Alim gave him a sly grin. One that was obviously up to no good. Kayden decided it would be best not to ask.

"It is nice to see you again, Kayden. If only it could be at a better time," Wynne replied, gesturing to a barrier she erected. She filled him in on what happened on the mage's end, Alim interrupting often to add details where he was involved. Each of which prompted more scolding from Wynne.

"We have to find the First Enchanter and secure the tower. I don't know how much time we have, Greagoir sent for the Rite..."

"We must hurry then." Wynne turned back toward her barrier. They would have to press forward, and she insisted on joining them in their search for the First Enchanter.

"I'm coming too," Alim finally said.

"No you are not! You need to stay here and help protect the children," Wynne protested.

"Not if we're killing all the demons and abominations on the way. I for one don't want to sit here and wait for the prison guards to come back with the Rite of Annulment while you get all the action, injured no less. No, I'm coming, if you want something done right, you do it yourself."

"This is not a prison, you know that."

"I dunno, with how tightly they've locked the doors... If it wasn't before it sure is now." Alim snapped his fingers and electricity erupted around him, crackling out like tiny fireworks. "Let's get a move on, grandma!"

Wynne huffed and turned to take down the barrier. "Well at least this way I know you won't be doing anything reckless to endanger the children."

"Is he always like this?" Alistair whispered into Kayden's ear.

"Mostly. You are lucky we did not step into any traps on the way here."

Alim turned back to Kayden, "Oh! Introductions are in order! Who are your friends? Fellow Grey Wardens? Just names will do for now, we need to hurry. We'll have proper introductions later."

"I'd like to point out that I am actually not a Grey Warden. But it is a compliment to be called one, yes?" Zevran started, before he could continue, Alim cut him off. "You talk too much, I asked for your name!"

Kayden almost laughed. He could tell Zevran had been a bit intrigued with Alim at first, but after being told he talked too much, he deflated a bit. But only a bit.

"My name is Zevran."

"And the big guy?" He asked, pointing to Alistair.

"Am I really big?" Alistair asked.

"Maybe to an elf," Kayden offered. "This is Alistair. Alim, be nice to them, there's no need-"

"Talk later! Let's go!" 

Alim bolted as soon as the barrier came down, and the others followed after him. Kayden didn't remember him being so fast. 

“Insufferable brat...” he said, watching the elf run.

Zevran laughed, “I’m used to people saying that about me. The insufferable part.”

“You’re not as bad as him, believe me.”

Electricity erupted and crackled from Alim’s fingertips at a snap, each motion loud and clear, and erupted through the library as he dispatched abominations. At least he wasn't making any walking bombs. To Alim's credit though, he was a talented healer. It wasn't something he liked doing much, he preferred more flashy magic. He healed each injury as quickly as he could though, leaving virtually no lingering pain.

He stayed away from melee combat; he didn't even have a staff. Kayden only briefly wondered where it might be, but it seemed he didn't need one. Between his electric and fire attacks, he sometimes pulled flasks from his pouch and threw them. The glass would break and explode leaving whatever enemy it hit in flames. Some of the vials were full of acid and dissolved their skin. 

"Just so you know, I set up traps. Everywhere. I remember where some of them are, but..." Alim looked back at that group and grinned.

"I'm pretty good at finding traps, my friend. We have nothing to worry about." Zevran ran besides them now, daggers flashing as he struck down another abomination.

"We need to find Niall," Alim said.

"Niall? So he's still alive?" Kayden asked.

Alim looked back at him for a moment, and suddenly his smile was gone. "I hope so..."

Kayden's steps suddenly became more urgent and he sprang after Alim, not even worrying if the others could keep up. Alistair and Zevran were doing just fine, but Wynne... Why did she even bother coming along? She was wounded already, wasn't she? They had no time to wait. Once in a while Alim would stop to make sure she was okay, then rush ahead of the group again. Kayden said nothing though. Wynne had been Alim’s tutor, and despite the bickering, he knew Alim cared more about others than he let on.

"He was looking for the Litany of Adralla. There are blood mages everywhere," Alim explained as they ran. "The demons are possessing bodies indiscriminately. Not even templar have been safe."

"Watch out, trap there." Zevran gestured just ahead of them. Alistair practically ran into Kayden as he and Alim stopped. Zevran knelt over and disarmed the trap.

Alim's hands were on his hips. "Hey! Those were meant for the blood mages! I put so much work into those!"

"Yes, but it wouldn't be good for us to step into them, would it?" Zevran pointed out.

"Pfft, whatever."

They moved on and were finally confronted by a bewitched templar. Kayden held his ground, deflected each thrust of their swords and froze their armor. To his side, Zevran emerged from the shadows and stuck another templar in the back. The templar collapsed.

He turned to Kayden and grinned. "Is anyone keeping score?"

"Because killing possessed templar is a fun game," Alistair snorted, blocking a sword with his shield. 

"To be fair, that one probably deserved it," Alim offered as Alistair cut another down.

"Alim!" Wynne yelled behind them.

The elf shrugged. "It's true."

“Is this a bad time to mention that Alistair’s a templar?” Kayden said, hoping to quiet Alim.

“Ex-templar,” Alistair corrected. 

The fighting spilled out onto the stairs. They took the steps three at a time. They were making too much noise, but it didn't matter. If it had only been Zevran, Alim, and Wynne, they probably could have easily gone through the tower and easily surprised any enemies. It was another story with Kayden and Alistair wearing heavy armor. It just wasn't going to happen.

They fought their way up, sometimes throwing collapsed bodies behind them. They rolled down the stairs and hit the walls. The higher they climbed, the darker the tower became. Soon, they started seeing piles of refuse and flesh congealed together in wet masses. They stuck to the floors, walls, and columns around them. Even the statues were not safe.

The next floor was where the templar were housed. Other than the dorms, there were large open areas for sword practice; the walls had been lined with weapon and armor racks that might have been full of practice equipment before the uprising, but now they were broken and scattered about the floors. The flesh piles stuck to those too.

"Maybe I shouldn't have had that extra pie at lunch." Zevran gagged. "Oh well."

Kayden would have suggested not looking at them, but they were everywhere. He'd have to close his eyes not to see them, and that wouldn't be good for any of them. He wasn’t going to mention that he was almost about to lose his lunch as well. No way.

Alistair shivered. "Is it just me, or did it just get colder?"

"I think so," Wynne replied. Zevran and Alim nodded their agreement.

"Colder? You think so? I didn't notice," Kayden said. It might have been because of his armor, but Alistair's armor was just as heavy as his.

"That's because your veins are made of ice," Alim joked.

“Ha ha, very funny,” Kayden said dryly. Alim laughed, but stopped. His eyes went wide as he looked around. The sound lingered and echoed across the room and then nothing. It was quiet up here. Too quiet. 

They continued down the hall, slower this time, trying not to make too much noise. All the floors had very similar layouts and the door leading to the central hall, like all the ones in the previous floors, led to the next set of stairs. Kayden slowly opened the door and cursed under his breath as the rusting hinges squeaked and echoed throughout the hall, announcing their arrival.

A body was on the floor, a demon hovering over it. Was that Niall?

“Oh look, visitors. I’d entertain you but... too much effort,” the demon said as he turned around. 

“Niall! What have you done to him?” Kayden demanded through gritted teeth.

“He’s just resting. Poor thing was just so very, very weary. You’d like to join him, wouldn’t you? You could just lay down and forget it all.”

“No! Let him go now, or I will find a better way to entertain myself!”

“Why must everyone resort to violence? Wouldn’t it be better just to rest? Leave it all behind?”

“Resist!” Wynne tried to warn them. She was so very far away, and Kayden so very sleepy. Maybe it would be better just to rest a little bit. He could always fight the demons and darkspawn later. They would wait, right? Yes, everything would wait for him. It always did, but even if it didn’t, someone else would do it. Someone better suited than he was.

“Kayden!” Alim’s voice was the last thing he heard as the Dreams took him.


	7. Bound in Blood Part III

Kayden jolted awake as the door slammed against the wall and an over-excited little elf entered the room.

"Do you have to do that all the time?" Kayden asked, sitting up, hands rubbing his temples. He looked around the room. It was unfamiliar. He was an a canopied bed, the sheets made of fresh, soft silks, the walls were made of stone and intricate tapestries covered them. Some depicted Wardens mounted atop griffins, others had lions and a few had men battling darkspawn. 

"Well I did come in here to wake you. You don't want to know what Plan B was," Alim said with a grin, and walked over to the armoire. "You need to put on something nice today, the others are waiting for us."

"Where are we?" Kayden finally asked.

Alim turned around and looked at him, a frown on his face. "Wynne said you would act like this, though I didn't want to believe her. I guess you _did_ take a pretty nasty blow on the head last night, Does it hurt? Niall has been worried."

Kayden's eyes narrowed slightly and he raised an eyebrow. He wasn't actually in any pain, in fact, he felt quite well rested, like he had just had the best sleep in his entire life. He laughed a bit, Niall really _would_ be worried. "I feel just fine, but that doesn't tell me where we are."

"Oh! Right, we are currently at the royal palace in Denerim, guests of King Cailan. There's a festival today, and we are the guests of honor, you know, being Grey Wardens and all."

"Festival? What for?"

Alim shook his head. "You really don't remember anything, do you? A year ago today we ended the Blight; killed the archdemon, set the underground lairs ablaze. Glorious! Well at least that's what Cailan said." Alim giggled and threw an outfit onto a trunk at the foot of the bed. "Hurry, put that on. I said the others are waiting, don't be a slow poke!" 

Alim was closing the door behind him before Kayden could say anything else. King Cailan was supposed to be dead, wasn't he? Then again, he hadn't seen the body, maybe he had survived. Kayden stretched and pulled the blankets off. He shook his head; why didn't he remember everything that had happened? Amnesia? He had never had amnesia before, how would he know? It felt weird, disorienting, to think that he could have forgotten everything that happened in a year's time. 

He threw his legs over the bed and stood up with a yawn. He stretched again and made his way to the foot of the bed, looking over the clothes Alim had laid out for him. He briefly wondered why Alim had done that, though it wasn't like Alim didn't do things like this back at the Tower anyway. He shrugged the thought away and dressed. Fancy clothes, not really his style, but he supposed if he were to be the King's guest he probably had to look presentable. The only good thing about them was the color; black certainly suited him best, making his eyes and hair stand out. He grinned at himself in the looking glass.

"He's awake?" Came a voice from outside his room. He looked to the door and listened for a moment. He wasn't sure what they were talking about, but it seemed to be an argument. He could tell the second voice was Alim's, the first was deeper with a thick Antivan accent. Zevran, he thought. A few minutes later, the voices stopped and the door opened.

Through the looking glass he watched as Zevran entered the room. He could see the deep frown on the assassin's face. What could they have been arguing about? The frown became a warm smile when he caught Kayden's eyes in the looking glass. Kayden finally turned around and the assassin strode over to him.

"They weren't going to let me in..." He started. Kayden gave him a curious look as the elf wrapped his arms around Kayden. 

"Why... not?" Kayden managed to ask through his surprise. Zevran gave him a look, a look that told him he should know the answer to that. What in the Maker's name was going on?

"Well, come on," Zevran finally said, a hand reaching up to stroke Kayden's cheek. His hands were so warm, and Kayden could feel himself tilting his head into Zevran's hand. He wanted more, but the elf turned and walked back to the door, expecting Kayden to follow. He watched for a moment, and with a sigh, he began to move too. 

They walked down the hall in silence, Zevran occasionally brushing against him. Kayden still was fuzzy. He was trying to accept the idea that he had amnesia. If it was really true... 

Zevran let out a frustrated sigh and then roughly grabbed Kayden's hand. He looked over at the elf, wondering what had come over him. "Is... something wrong?"

"You," came Zevran's sharp reply. "You are acting odd today. I guess it is to be expected after yesterday, but I had hoped you'd at least remember this much."

"Remember what?" Kayden finally asked. Zevran squeezed his hand in reply, and he looked down at their hands, finger's locked. Was Zevran mad at him? "Zev, I'm sorry. I don't really remember anything. The last thing I remember was from before we stopped the Blight, in the Tower."

The assassin stopped abruptly, pulling his hand away. He looked up at Kayden, staring into his eyes for a moment. Kayden had never felt more awkward in his life as those eyes stared right through him. He felt heat rise in his cheeks the longer he shared Zevran's gaze, and before he knew it he felt his back hit the wall. 

Zevran's lips were against his before he could fully realize what was happening. This couldn't possibly be real. It made no sense! Kayden was captured by those lips, and he let his eyes close and his arms raise to circle the other man's waist. This wasn't real! 

When he opened his eyes a demon stood before him. Kayden's eyes narrowed and he pushed her away. She smirked and licked her lips. "Why did you stop, my love? Weren't you enjoying yourself?"

"Who are you? Why are you doing this?" His eyes narrowed, and he reached for his sword.

"I am Desire." She laughed. Her lips never moved, her voice seemed to be in his head and all around him at the same time. "Why do I do this? Why not? Aren't you happy here? I can give you _whatever_ it is you desire." Her words were accentuated by her hands gliding up her body, feeling her assets. Kayden looked away. "I can give you power, I can give you magic, I can even give you love." 

She gestured and Zevran appeared before him again. He was an illusion Kayden knew, but the resemblance was uncanny. He was beside Kayden again, his hands gently caressing both cheeks now. He leaned against Kayden and lifted himself up on his toes. The haughty illusion planted a kiss on his lips and he could feel its hot breath on his skin. Then Kayden pulled the illusion away by its hair.

"Stop this now."

"Why? Isn't he what you want? I can make him yours." Her voice was sweet, seductive, hypnotizing; it took every once of will Kayden had to look away. He wanted to say yes, he wanted so badly to give in, but he couldn't.

"No, it would be a lie. I want nothing from you, demon!"

The demon seemed surprised as Kayden lunged at her, sword in hand. She moved back, out of the way. He could hear the spell she chanted, and ice sprang up in a circle around him. Kayden called forth his magic and slammed through the ice, focusing on her.

"You can't defeat an ice mage with ice," he said with a grin. Her eyes became angry and with a wave of her hand, more columns of ice twisted up around him, and each time more appeared, he slammed them down just as quickly. She was fast though, dodging all of his attacks. How would he defeat a demon that was so damned fast?

_Focus_! That's what Morrigan had said when they fought the assassins. Focus. He calmed himself and pulled the magic to him. More ice shot up around him, caging him in. He ignored it. 

"My my... I thought you said you couldn't defeat an ice mage with ice. Looks like I have the upper hand now." He could hear hear laughter through the ice. "Maybe I will take your body, mage."

It was not over yet. He smashed through the ice and conjured his own, sending them flying towards the demon. She dodged the ice, but was too late, the sword plunged through her midsection.

"How did you...? That magic you used, I haven't seen it in... such a long time."

Kayden shook his head, "Your problem is not my magic; you underestimate mages." He removed the sword from her flesh and she slumped to the ground. "Now it's over." The sword came down in an arc and barely sliced through her before her body disappeared. Her voice lingered in his head. "If you ever want to leave the Fade, you will have to defeat all the demons in this domain. Your demons."

He hated the Fade.

\-------------------------------

Kayden was unsure how long he had been wandering the Fade. The fog was thick and he figured by now he was traveling in circles. He couldn't lose hope, not now. His friends needed him, the Tower needed him. 

Eventually, he came to an area with a bench where the fog receded somewhat. A man sat on the bench, head in his hands. When the man heard his approach, he looked up. He knew that face right away. It was Niall, but was this another trick?

"Are you my Niall?" Kayden asked, his hand almost reaching for his sword.

The man chuckled, "When did I become your Niall?"

"Oh you know what I mean. Are you really you and not just another Fade spirit here to trick me?"

"It's really me, I can assure you. Nice job getting out of that trap by the way."

"Are you sure? Is it really you?"

"Ask me something. How intelligent are the spirits anyway?" Niall seemed more amused than angry, but Kayden could tell he was nervous. Maybe he'd been in the Fade too long.

"I really don't know. Intelligent enough to mimic us. What about the Fraternities?"

"You always hated talking about the Fraternities." Niall laughed.

"It's true, and I disagreed with more than one of your opinions on them as well."

"But we really _should_ be Isolationists. Just think about it."

Kayden shook his head. "If we aren't around, how will they learn not to fear us?"

"They'll never learn. You know they won't. You've left the Tower, you've seen what people are like when they are ignorant of magic."

"You know, I can't believe we are talking about Fraternities in the Fade. There's so much that needs to be done right now."

"You are the one who brought it up, Kade. Do you believe that I'm really me now?"

Kayden took a deep breath and sat down on the bench beside Niall. He leaned over, elbows on his knees. "I never thought that one day we'd be stuck in the Fade like this. Not after all that training."

Niall nodded, also seeing the irony of it. He seemed to be resigned to his fate though. It was sad, listening to him wallowing in his depression as they talked. This man had always been the one to support him and to see him so broken now, it was just too much.

Niall had been in the meeting when Uldred had taken over. He hadn't been listening, the meetings were usually boring anyway. Kayden was glad he had never been to any of them, and thinking about it now almost a little sad that he'd never be able to. Not because he really wanted to be part of the Circle in the Tower, but because part of him was starting to agree with Niall, they really might be trapped in here forever.

"I did find out something interesting though," Niall finally said. Kayden turned to look at his friend. He had really expected to hear mostly just the same story he had been told again, but Niall had more? Another piece to the puzzle. "Jowan had been part of their band."

"What? Are you sure?"

Niall nodded, "Very. But Uldred had decided Jowan was useless. He was cast out of the group. One of Uldred's little minions became the eyewitness that Greagoir mentioned. You remember, right?"

Kayden nodded, it was all a set up from the beginning.

"Well they made sure the documents were in place for that girl. What was her name, the one Jowan had a dalliance with? Well it doesn't matter, she was sent away after you left. They wanted Jowan out of the picture though so he couldn't speak against them. That's why they went through all that trouble. I think Uldred hoped he'd be sentenced to death rather than made tranquil. Tranquil can still talk after all."

"That does make sense. Does this mean I foiled his plans?"

"Not really, Jowan is out of the picture, and it is unlikely he will return. Now we're trapped here and there's nothing we can do either." Niall's face dropped into his hands. "I don't think there's a way out. I've studied this area for so long, but every time I try to leave, I end up back here again. The fog is so thick, I cannot see!"

Kayden rested a hand on Niall's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Now you're starting to sound like Jowan. I know you're stronger than that. You've always been there for me when I needed you."

Niall shook his head. "It was because you needed me that I seemed so strong. We were kids, you're four years younger than me. Look at you now; you're an adult. You're so much stronger than you were back then."

They sat in silence after that, for who knew how long. The silence just droned on as the fog rolled around them. Then he remembered his friends waiting for him; Alistair, Morrigan, Leliana, Alim... Zevran. It wasn't just his friends that needed him, he was a Grey Warden now. 

Kayden stood up. "I can't just sit here, I have to find a way out."

"You're joking, right Kade? There's no way out! We're trapped here! It's... getting so cold. Don't you feel it?"

"Snap out of it, Niall! I'm getting us out of here. You sit tight, alright? I'll be back for you as soon as I can."

"No... Kade, don't leave. I don't know how much longer..."

"Then come with me." Kayden reached out his hand to Niall. "Weren't you the one who always told me your mother said you were destined for greatness? Let's go do something that will make her proud."

\-------------------------------

Niall stayed a few steps behind Kayden as they continued through the Fade. He was a healer, he was no fighter, so on Kayden pressed while Niall kept track of any injuries he gained along the way. 

"I was able to see some of the demons before, but I was too afraid to fight them. There are a few, and they all seem to be guarding an island in the center. I believe that is where the Sloth demon is."

Kayden nodded as they continued and Niall continued to give him some descriptions of the demons. He mentioned the desire demon, but Kayden had already finished that one off. Though she had mentioned more demons awaited him, he hadn't wanted to believe it. What a pain, he thought. He wished the demon had lied, but Niall confirmed it was true. 

"If we can defeat all of the demons, we will be able to access the island they are guarding then," Kayden finally replied. 

"I think so, yes. Do you really think you can do it?"

"I have to try."

It was then Kayden realized they were being followed. He stopped, the shorter mage almost running into him.

"What is it?" Niall asked, looking around.

Kayden didn't answer, instead he focused on the arcane energies around them. There was so much of that in the Fade, it was hard to make the distinction between one or another. 

Then it stopped. It was behind them now. Kayden grabbed Niall by the arm and pulled him away as the shadows swarmed around them. There was an echoing laughter as the shadows merged not far from where Niall had been standing. They formed a roughly humanoid shape of shadows with white, glowing eyes. He had seen monsters similar to this before, in fact there was a whole swarm of them mixed in with the undead in Redcliffe Castle. It was a shade, or at least it was a monster in the Fade that looked like shade... And now he was rhyming in his head. 

"What is it?" Niall asked behind him. 

The creature cackled like some mad old witch and raised an arm to them, its fingers were long with sharp nails. "I am fear. Your fear, your self-doubt, ambition lost."

Kayden sighed. "Seriously? I have to fight _this_? This is starting to sound like something from a children's story. I have no time for you, demon."

The thing looked surprised, well surprised as it could look with a face that lacked the ability to show emotion properly. It looked back and forth between the two mages for a moment, then leaned back. It lunged forward with a loud scream. 

Kayden shook it off, but Nial dropped, wide-eyed cowering on the floor. A spell, Kayden thought. The sword glinted in the Fade, light cutting an arc into the fog. The shade moved back and then to the side. It wasn't as fast as the desire demon, but for some reason, Kayden couldn't get a solid hit on it. Had it cast another spell before he noticed?

The demon cackled again, it's razor sharp claws seeking flesh. Kayden moved back as he felt his energy being sapped from him. He dropped to a knee as the demon closed in on him. It came close, inches from his face and soon he could see light drawing out of him in a swirl as the demon devoured it. He felt himself growing weaker and cold. Cold was new for him, it could be below freezing and everyone around him would be shivering, but he would not feel cold. Why now?

Then a bold of light shot through the shade. It shrieked and recoiled back away from Kayden. Niall was behind him again, he could feel the warmth of healing energies wash over him. "Thanks."

Niall nodded to him and returned his gaze to the shade, sending another bolt of light its way. Kayden smiled. He hadn't known Niall had any damaging spells, but he was very grateful for them now. It was then he realized, he wasn't meant to fight this demon. This demon was Niall's.

The demon came back at them again, but this time Niall put up a shield of magical energy, holding the demon back. Kayden stood up, looking over the demon on the other side of the energy. "Kill it, Niall."

The man nodded, and released the energy again, and an explosion of light shot out in a circle around them. The shade shrieked again and disappeared. Niall looked back at Kayden. "Was that really it? It's gone?" 

He continued looking around, not so sure. When it seemed like nothing more would happen, he returned to Kayden, looking him over for any sign of injury.

"What was that spell you used?" He finally asked after a while. Niall back up, deciding Kayden was fine.

"Nova," Niall answered after a few minutes. "Do you want to learn it?"

"Yeah... as soon as we get out of here. And don't say we're not getting out of here, 'cause we are. Both of us, and my friends." Niall didn't argue this time, but he didn't seem convinced. Kayden's face set into a deep frown as they continued on. 

Soon, the fog began to clear a bit. He could see a structure in the distance. They moved onward and came to a ruined building. Inside was much like the rooms in the tower. The dorms from the senior mages' quarters.

The fog mostly rolled about the floor here as the walked down the hall. It was eerie how similar this looked to the Tower he remembered. The cold was creeping up on him again. Something he wasn't used to, it was incredibly uncomfortable. He didn't mention this to Niall, cold in the Fade was a bad sign, especially for someone that never felt cold.

They came to the end of the hall, facing a closed door. The only way forward was through that door. He looked back at Niall, meeting his eyes. The shorter mage gave him a slow nod and he pushed it open with a loud, rusty squeal. Beyond the portal revealed a Fade replica of the Harrowing Chamber; destroyed, debris everywhere, the ceiling open to the pale grey skies of the Fade. 

In the center of the chamber stood a figure in white, his back to them. The man in white crossed his arms. "You're late, you know. I was wondering how much longer you'd make me wait."

That voice was familiar. Flashes of his childhood surfaced in his mind; sheared hair littering the floor, a slam against a stone wall, a fall down a flight of stairs, the screams... He stopped in his tracks and Niall almost bumped into him.

"Dilon," he whispered.

The man turned around, a wicked grin on his face. "So nice of you to remember me, Fade-boy. I can't let you get any further, unfortunately for you. I didn't really want to be here in the Fade, but I was told if I could kill you here, Master Uldred would accept me back into the fold. And that's just what I intend to do!"

A bolt of electricity shot passed Kayden's head, he barely had time to react as he pulled out his sword and a cloud of red grew around Dilon. A feint then? Well it worked, it bought him some time. Kayden wasn't going to let it happen again.

"Blood magic," Niall said, his eyes widening. He pushed back away from the other mages.

"Shit..." A metallic ring echoed around them. He had to stop Dilon and fast. He'd never fought a blood mage before, but he had heard stories of the type of things they could do. If Dilon were able to get into his mind, it would be all over here. 

Dilon continued hurling attacks at him, mostly primal energies. Why would he use blood magic for that? 

Shards of ice sprang from the channeled energies Kayden called, sending spears of cold toward Dilon. A burst of electricity, white hot, melted them in their tracks. Dilon was grinning on the other side of the steam. 

The red cloud around him began to shift, to grow. It expanded and twisted until he could barely see Dilon under it anymore. And then it popped, sending blood spraying everywhere. The blood collected in one place and then seemed to take on a life of it's own. It turned and went straight for Kayden with all the force of a waterfall. 

He couldn't get out of the way, and then Niall was in front of him. He took the attack to the chest and doubled over.

"Niall!"

Dilon was laughing. Was this part of his plan too? Niall was clutching at his chest, Kayden knelt down beside him.

"What's going on?"

Niall convulsed and then jolted back, looking up at Kayden, his eyes red. He stood, the motion in itself awkward, graceless. His mind was not his own.

"Can you kill your friend?" Dilon asked, his laughter echoing around them. "Can you do it? Can you? Huh? I can't hear you! Answer me, Fade-boy! Can you kill your friend?"

Niall rushed towards him, staff at the ready. He wondered for a moment why Dilon would just send Niall into melee instead of using his spells, but he figured that Dilon thought this would just get Niall killed faster. Niall wasn't a fighter. Kayden wasn't about to let harm come to his friend.

He assessed the situation as he dodged and blocked the ungraceful swings of the staff. He considered knocking Niall out and turning his attention back to the clearly deranged Dilon, or he could continue standing here and taking the blows with his sword. He figured his stamina would outlast Dilon's blood magic. He could do it, right?

But as the assault continued, Kayden became more and more unsure of that. This was taking too long and he needed to get out of the Fade. He could just imagine Morrigan watching him now. Telling him to just kill Niall and Dilon and get it over with. Kayden couldn't do that though. Niall was his best friend and while Dilon probably was deserving of it, Kayden wouldn't be the one to pass judgment. Tranquility though, he could achieve that by killing him in the Fade. But how would he do that with Niall's body being thrown at him like a toy?

Then it hit him; Dilon used to be egged on by his friends in the past. He always had to look cool in front of them. His friends may not have been in the Fade with him now, but Kayden figured the same ego would still apply here. He'd shut that lunatic up yet.

Kayden turned his head toward Dilon, blocking Niall's staff again. His lips twisted into a grin. "Is that all you have, Dilon? You're just going to let someone else do your dirty work for you?" 

"Of course, this is much too fun to watch. Fade-boy versus Niall, the timid tutor. It made me sick how he used to baby you, how refreshing to see him finally taking out his frustrations."

"You're controlling him!"

"I am in his mind, yes, but I'm sure he got sick of taking care of you. Coddling you took so much of his time. He probably would have taken his Harrowing much sooner if it hadn't been for you."

Kayden gritted his teeth. Dilon was not going to make things easy for him, was he? He wasn't going to give in now though. He had to get out of here, and he was going to bring Niall with him. He let the grin spread on his lips again. "What happened, Dilon? Your friends aren't here right now so you're too scared to fight me on your own?"

Dilon viably twitched, his laugher dying out. "What was that?" 

His voice had taken on an angry tone, good that meant Kayden had finally gotten to him. Kayden raised his voice, taking on a more haughty tone. "Oh, maybe you didn't hear me over all that trembling you're doing over there. I'll say it more clearly for you then; are you afraid I'll kick your ass?"

Dilon growled, "You know what, Fade-boy? You must have a death wish." 

With that Niall dropped in front of him, Dilon had removed his control. Perfect. He didn't wait, rushing forward with his sword raised. But Dilon hadn't dropped his guard, and before he realized it, the other mage had pulled out a blade. 

The blade came up and connected with Oathkeeper. It was a short blade, barely more than a dagger. How much he knew how to use this weapon, Kayden was unsure, but Dilon didn't seem to be using it the way a man trained for melee combat would. The blade was rippling with electricity, it was being used to channel magical energy.

Dilon tried to push him back as they continued back, Kayden could only assume he needed more range for the short blade's energy to take better effect. In the Fade, Kayden realized he was able to draw in more energy. It made sense, he had always been told magic was from the Fade, and Kayden...

One wrong step and a jolt of electricity burned through him. He jerked away, his muscles twitching in protest. He screamed, the sound echoing throughout the Fade. Somewhere behind him, he could sense movement. But from where? Niall?

Dilon cackled, his laughter blending with the sparks of electricity that crackled and buzzed about his blade. 

Kayden quickly composed himself and blocked the short sword as it slashed at him again. "You know, Dilon, there's something I'm noticing here. We're both adults now, and yet you continue to cling to things you did as a child."

Dilon slashed, electricity arcing towards Kayden again. "And what does that mean? I was given and order, and I'm going to follow it. I will rejoin Master Uldred and the others."

"Ha! Do you really think so? He's a blood mage, he's only out for himself. Do you think he cares about you or any of the others who follow him? All you've proven to me is that you're just as big of a shit as you were when we were children."

Dilon gritted his teeth and the electricity around his blade expanded and spread towards Kayden. It was coming at him fast. He jumped back and summoned up a wall of ice before him, blocking the charges. The ice melted as soon as the light came in contact with it, but both elements fizzed and disappeared. 

He tried to push back, but he had given Dilon more than enough distance for him to unleash another shocking attack, this time leaving him paralyzed to the spot. Try as he might, he couldn't will his muscles to move. He was helpless.

Dilon was standing before him now, that wicked grin still on his face. "Any last words, Fade-boy?"

Kayden's eyes only narrowed in response, hoping beyond hope that Niall would get up and help. But the mage didn't move, his collapsed form still silent behind him. _Niall..._

"I guess not. I will enjoy this," Dilon continued, raising the electrified blade once more. He couldn't move, he couldn't even brace himself for the blow. He closed his eyes, waiting to wake up without his emotions in tact, but the blow never came.

There was a thud in front of him. He opened his eyes. There was a shocked look on Dilan's face and a blade protruding from his chest, smearing blood on the ground below him, fading in and out of view. The blade receded, pulling out Dilon and he fell over, his body beginning to disappear from view. He blinked and looked up, expecting to see Niall standing over him. What he saw was the last thing he ever expected to see. It was himself. As if he were viewing himself in a mirror.

"Who... Who are you?" Kayden asked, his voice shaky.

The mirror image of himself grinned. "Isn't it obvious? I'm you. Well sorta, I'm your magic mostly, your connection to the Fade. We should probably wake up Niall over there if you want to keep going." 

Kayden turned around when the other pointed to Niall behind him on the floor. He seemed to be just regaining consciousness. Kayden walked over to him and crouched over, trying to help Niall up.

"Did you... did you stop him?" Niall asked. He seemed weaker now somehow and was having trouble standing. Kayden had to put an arm around him to keep him on his feet.

"Yeah, Dilon's gone. Well he's not in the Fade anymore at least." He then turned his eyes back to his mirror 'self'. "How do I know you're not lying? That you're not another demon trying to take my body?"

Mirror Kayden raised an eyebrow. "Let's start with, I know everything about you... well me, I'm like... over 9000 percent smarter than any demon here in the Fade, and I don't want your body. I mean, it's kinda sorta mine already to begin with since you know... I'm you."

"You're quite humble too... But that really isn't enough for me. This could be a trick, in fact, I'm sure of it."

"Well yeah, whatever. I'm not really here to convince you that I'm you, I'm here to help you get your friends and find your way to the Sloth demon. Up until now, you've mostly been walking in circles. You... I am a Grey Warden now. We don't have time to be in a Fade dream as the Blight grows around us in the waking world. We have bigger things to think about than trying to find our way in the Fade. And trust me, as your connection to the Fade, I know how big of a pain it is to navigate."

"You're leading us into a trap, aren't you?" Niall finally spoke up. He pulled away from Kayden and was standing on his own now, looking over the mirror version of Kayden. The only difference he noted between the two was that the Fade version was wearing muted greys. Probably so he would blend into the Fade. Or maybe it was to represent his status as a Grey Warden. Kayden wasn't sure, but it didn't really matter.

Mirror Kayden laughed and turned his back to them. He raised his hands, causing them to look around the Fade version of the broken Harrowing chamber again. Above them, three visions appeared. Three nightmares and in the center of each was one of his friends. Alistair, Wynne, Alim... Zevran. He could see what they were dreaming of as well, Wynne with apprentices, Alistair with who he thought was family, Zevran being tortured by Crows. When he reached Alim though, Alim was having a dream about Kayden. Their first night together to be exact. 

Kayden looked away. "Why are you showing me that?"

"And that's what you're going to ask me? What a boring question. Why not, how do I get to them so I can wake them up? That's probably the best idea now right? We don't have time to sit around wondering silly things like that. They're all in nightmares. Blight happening in the real world. Get with the program, Kade."

"I hate to say this, Kade, but I think he's right," Niall chimed in, watching the visions blur into the Fade once more. "Who should we rescue first, and how will we get to them?"

"At least one of us has some sense..." Mirror said. He led them towards the center of the Harrowing chamber. A pedestal was there. Kayden remembered it being filled with lyrium when he took his Harrowing. Now, it was full of a black, opaque liquid. What it was, he didn't know, but it didn't matter, this was the Fade.

"This pedestal will get you anywhere in the Fade connected to the Sloth Demon's domain. You've been to a few places already, and gotten lost. Shameful. Now we will use this to get to them." He pointed back up into the grey sky where the images had been. "Who first?"

"Alim," Niall answered for him. He slowly nodded. He had thought it might be better to get Alistair back first since he was another Grey Warden, but Niall was probably right. Alim should come first. They were best friends once... more than friends really, it would be wrong not to.

"Alright Kade, Niall... Go get him. Just walk up to the pedestal and tell it where you need to go. There will be one on the other side that you can use to return here. I will stay here in case any more demons come. But I think you've defeated all the guardians already, so there really shouldn't be any trouble."

"You're not coming with us?"

"As I said, guarding home base. I'll know what's going on anyway. I can see through your eyes."

"Why can't I see through yours?"

Mirror Kayden looked shocked by the thought. "You... can't? Well it took dad a while to get used to as well. It will come with time, the stronger your connection to the Fade grows. Now hurry, everyone's waiting for you."

"Dad?"

"That is a question for another time! Hurry up!"

"Are you sure we should be trusting him?" Niall asked as they reached the pedestal. Kayden raised his hand above the stone basin atop the pedestal, mirroring his Harrowing.

"I don't trust him. I need to save our friends, so that's what I am doing. We'll have to keep an eye on him of course."

Niall nodded and reached out for the basin as well. The liquid began to glow and expanded, engulfing them both in the radiance as the room around them dissolved and a new one reformed around them.

When the glow faded, they were in the room with Alim. Now the hard part, convincing him he was in a dream and not really under the covers with Kayden. He didn't even want to look.

"Niall..."

"Oh grow up, you two used to go at it all the time."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want to see it after..."

"Shush, just go wake him up."

Kayden walked over to the bed. It was a bottom bunk in the apprentice quarters. It still surprised him how they were ever able to find time to do this when so many people shared the room, without anyone noticing. Doing it in the middle of the day when others were in classes helped, but they had to find just the right window of time.

"Alim, wake up." He said, nudging the elf's arm. He tilted his head to the side, barely noticing anything. Moments later though his eyes widened as he finally registered what was going on.

"TWO of you?" His voice raised and he looked back and forth between the two Kaydens.

"Two of me? Alim, look at me, no one else is here," the other said to him. Kayden narrowed his eyes and pulled fake Kayden away from Alim.

"He's not real, Alim! Wake up!"

Alim closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. "I... know this is a dream but... I'd rather things stay like this."

"Snap out of it, Alim! We can't stay here!"

"You don't need me! You were perfectly clear about that!" 

"Alim... this... This is not the time for that! There's a Blight to stop and we're wasting our time here. The Circle needs you... I _need_ you. So please, come with us."

Fake Kayden faded away as Alim pulled the covers up around him. He shook his head. "I... I don't want to go."

Kayden looked back at Niall. The man was just quietly watching. "A little help, please?"

Niall was next to him before he even realized it. "Alim, stop this. This isn't real. Would you really rather die?"

Alim looked at Niall. "You don't understand! Haven't you ever been in love before?"

Niall's eyes narrowed. "Yes, I have. You are being selfish now. Look at us, we are real, we are your friends. Think about how we would feel if you didn't come back with us."

Alim's lip quivered. "I... I can't go with you."

"Alim..." Kayden was almost in tears now. He turned around and paced for a moment and then before he knew it, he was back beside Alim, pulling him away from the bed into an embrace. "You idiot, I can't let you throw your life away for a fake existence. How am I supposed to live knowing that?" 

He didn't know how this would help and in the back of his mind, he expected Alim to push him away, but instead, the little elf clung to him, sobbing into his clothes. He wasn't sure how long they sat there, but eventually Alim pulled away and wiped his eyes. "All right. I will come back with you."

A few minutes later, he was dressed and the three of them were at the pedestal, extending their hands over the basin that led them back to the Fade Harrowing chamber.

"That certainly took long enough," Mirror Kayden said, rolling his eyes. "We don't have any more time to waste. Maybe the three of you should split up and wake up the rest of them." He gestured to the sky where images of the other dreamers appeared again.

Alim looked back at Kayden, "Seriously? Another one of you? And I thought one was more than I could handle."

Kayden just laughed, "Well that technically isn't another me, at least that's what he said." Kayden shrugged.

"Alim, you wake up Wynne," Mirror Kayden said, pointing to her dream. Alim nodded, that was probably the best match there, considering Wynne had personally mentored Alim.

Alim accessed the pedestal again and dissolved from their sight. "Okay, then Niall, you talk to Alistair. I'm going to go for Zevran."

Niall nodded and he watched the other man disappear. "Well here it goes... me."

"Hurry up, and try not to be too flirty."

"Because I need you -- er, me -- to tell me that?"

Ten minutes later, Kayden and Alim returned to the chamber. Niall wasn't back yet, had he failed?

"He's having trouble, yes," Mirror Kayden said, as if he could read minds. Which probably was likely, considering he was Kayden. 

"Why?" Alim asked.

"Alistair doesn't know who he is, nothing's working. Kade. It looks like you may need to step in.

Kayden let out a deep sigh and nodded. Niall probably wouldn't be able to convince Alistair to wake up on his own, and they were running out of time. He accessed the pedestal once more, leaving Alim with Mirror Kayden.

Once in the dream, he could see that Alistair was with a woman, someone he thought was family or something. Alistair hadn't told him much about his family, so Kayden couldn't really be sure who she was.

"Things not working out, Niall?" Kayden asked as he approached the timid mage.

Niall shook his head. "Not one bit. He keeps asking me who I am. Maybe you can talk some sense into him."

"Oh! It's my friend, Kade! Goldanna, this is who I was talking about. Kade, this is my sister Goldanna. Would you like to stay for dinner? Please say you'll stay!" The man was pleading with him.

"I see what you mean, Niall."

"At least he knows who you are, but he won't stop talking."

"Alistair, this is a dream, that is not Goldanna, or whoever you think it is."

"Oh haha. That's really funny, Kade. Who else would look and act just like my sweet sister? Why would someone want to trick me?"

"Where is Morrigan when I need her?" Kayden asked no one in particular and took a deep breath. Niall shot him a look, one that couldn't possibly mean anything other than 'Who is Morrigan?' It didn't matter now, it wasn't important. Right now, he needed to get Alistair out of here.

"Morrigan? She'd ruin all my fun. Bitch, bitch, bitch. Oh, Alistair, I don't want to talk about my mother, let's talk about _your_ mother." Alistair pitched his voice high for the second part, his best impression of Morrigan falling rather short.

"Alistair, stop for a minute and think about how you got here. We are in the Fade. We were just in the Circle Tower. We are trapped here by the Sloth Demon." Kayden reminded him.

"We... by the Maker, I think you might be right."

The demon masquerading as Goldanna did not like that one bit, and soon they found themselves being attacked by her and other Fade demons. When it was over, Alistair pulled Kayden aside. "Please... I'd be very much appreciative if you didn't tell Morrigan about any of this?"

Kayden laughed. "You have my word."

Then Alistair was gone, waking up like the others he hoped, and they returned to the Harrowing chamber once again. Alim and Mirror Kayden seemed to be ignoring each other for the most part.

"So... it's time to face the Sloth demon then? How will we get to him?" Kayden asked.

Mirror Kayden pointed at the pedestal again. "That is your ticket to the demon. He's at the center of this domain, and you've already defeated all the demons guarding him."

"Any advice?" Alim asked, meeting Niall and Kayden in the center of the chamber.

"I can't really think of anything that will really help you. Just remember, you are in the Fade and this domain we are in belongs to him. If you want to defeat him, you will have to give it your all."

"Will you be coming with us this time?" Niall asked. Kayden was already rearing to go. The sloth demon had to be defeated now so they could wake up and take care of Uldred.

Mirror Kayden nodded. "I am a Grey Warden. Your quest is my quest."

The group gathered around the pedestal, ready to face the demon in its domain. They appeared on a cliff overlooking the Fade sky. The Black City seemed closer than Kayden had ever seen before. Would even a demon wish to be this close to something so cursed?

"I am disappointed." The Sloth demon stood at the center of the rocky floating land mass, towering above the group. "Why did you have to leave? I thought you were happy? All of you be good and go back... I will give you better dreams this time."

"We are not living a lie here in the Fade. We have a Blight to stop," Kayden said. The others added their agreement.

"Why must you continue to fight this war? What good does it do to fight?"

"It is my duty as a Grey Warden."

"The darkspawn are not a threat to you here. You could live in peace."

"And doom the rest of the world? I think not. You die here, demon. I am done talking to you."

The fight began with a clap of thunder. Alim moved forward to attack the demon as it came toward them. Magic clashed against magic, and Kayden and his mirror brought up shields of ice to keep the demon's elements at bay. Niall held back healing any injuries they received. 

After what seemed an eternity, Sloth dropped before them, Oathkeeper against his neck. "We can end this now. I will give you a deal. Whatever it is you want."

"No deal." And with that, he struck through the demon. It was over. Somehow, Kayden had expected that battle to be harder. All it really had been was long. It had been easy. Too easy, to the point that the victory seemed false. But now that the demon was slain, they could wake up and deal with Uldred. 

"Kade." Niall started, staring at the ground. "There is something I need to tell you now. Alone."

Kayden looked to his friend. "Hm? What's up?"

Niall pulled him aside, away from Alim, and began in a hushed tone. "Kayden, I can't return with you."

"Oh no, don't say that. You're coming back with me." Kayden said, grabbing Niall by the sleeve. "I told you, we're all getting out of this."

"I'm sorry. It's not that I want to stay here, I really don't. I've been in the Fade far too long. I'm dying Kayden. Take the litany... from my body."

"Don't talk like that! You can be healed! We'll take care of you!"

"It's too late. Take the litany and stop Uldred. And... My spellbook. Take it. You can learn all my spells from that."

"Niall! I am not leaving without you! You are coming with us!"

The Fade began to disappear from view now that the Sloth demon was no longer keeping them there. Kayden kept trying to grab at Niall, but they kept drifting away from one another.

"I will see you again one day, Kade. They say... we go to the Maker's side when we die. It can't be all that bad." Niall smiled, a forced smile Kayden knew. 

"Niall!"

Kayden's eyes opened and he was back in the tower in the chamber where he had fallen. He stood up and rushed over to the slumped body he knew was Niall's. Alim stood and followed him to Niall, as the others watched, unsure what to say.

"Wynne! Alim! Heal him!" Kayden was panicking. He held Niall's head in his lap and Alim ran his hands over Niall's body, a blue glow enveloping them.

"It's no use!" Alim's voice was a low whine as he gasped for air, tears filling his eyes. "It's not working!"

"You're not doing it right! Come on, Alim! Niall! Niall! Wake up!" Kayden's hands moved to Niall's shoulders and shook, gently at first, but quickly became urgent.

Wynne shook her head. "I'm sorry, Kayden... Alim. But Niall... is gone."

"No! This can't be! He's still stuck in the Fade! I can go back in. I can bring him back! I have to do something!"

"We've done everything we could. There's no healing this."

He could still feel that hand ruffling his hair, see the smile on Niall's face whenever Kayden went to visit him, how tall Niall used to seem to him when he was younger and how he laughed years later when he realized he'd grown taller than Niall. The warm, kind voice that soothed him whenever the other apprentices had been bullying him. The friend that had made him feel safe in a world full of templar, in a world full of hate and misunderstanding.

Kayden went very quiet for a moment, his eyes watching Niall's lifeless body. He was really gone, and there was nothing he could have done to save him. At one time Niall and Jowan had been all Kayden had, he had never thought that one day he'd lose either of them. Yet here Niall was before him, unmoving, not breathing. This was too much.

He let out a small wimper, choking back tears. He tried so much to push them away as they filled his eyes. This wasn't happening. His head lowered more, and for a moment it rested on Niall's shoulder. He had withered so much, he was barely bones wrapped in skin. The demon really had sucked him dry. 

And then it all came rushing to him at once, and he could hold it back no longer. His scream echoed through the hall, his heart pounding so hard he thought it would burst. The tears forced themselves out now on their own. This wasn't real... This isn't real. Stop crying, he told himself. 

A hand touched his shoulder and he pulled away. "Don't touch me! Don't you fucking touch me!"

"Kayden..." Wynne was trying to sooth him, but it wasn't working. He didn't care at all about her, or what she said. The demon had taken Niall from him, and he knew who was to blame. Uldred. 

"Maker, show him mercy, for I will not," Kayden whispered and pulled himself to his feet. His sword dragged across the floor and his eyes narrowed. "Uldred is dead!"

"Kayden!" Wynne's voice was pleading with him now, but he ignored her. He was already running up the last set of stairs, his sword seeking blood. It would find blood, _he_ would find blood. He would stain the Harrowing chamber with every last bit of Uldred's blood.


	8. Chapter 7: Bound in Blood Finale

No one ever expects it when they lose someone they care about. That cold, empty feeling as you try to understand why it happened. When you tell yourself that it’s not fair and how dare the fates take them from you. Nothing prepares you for that moment, for the emptiness and loneliness you feel. And then… there’s that helpless feeling, when you wonder if there was more that you could have done, or if you had just been there a few moments, a few seconds earlier, you might have been able to protect them.

At that point, Kayden, filled with grief, could only think of revenge as he made his way up the stone stairs. He barely noticed the magical cage at the entrance to the Harrowing chamber, and he completely ignored the voices of his friends telling him to stop, to wait. He knew Uldred would be beyond this door, and he refused to wait.

Kicking down the door, he peered into the chamber, a chamber that was a terrible mess and not at all like it had been when he’d taken his Harrowing, but not nearly as bad as it had appeared in the Fade. Uldred was there, standing between two hulking abominations as they worked on a third to join their ranks. He could see the row of mages, bound and shaking, as they awaited their turn.

He turned to focus his attention on Uldred. That was his reason for being here, and at the moment, he didn’t care about the other mages there.

“This ends now, Uldred,” Kayden said as he moved to the center of the chamber, sword in hand. He moved like a man with authority, all sword and armor, but his heart was in turmoil, threatening to tear open Uldred, the room, and anything or anyone that got in his way at any moment.

“Ah, look what we have here, Irving’s star pupil.” Uldred said, looking away from his newly transformed mage. “You know, I thought by now you would have been out of the way. I managed to get Jowan out of the picture, but you? Well, it looks like Dilon couldn’t manage to do his job. Dead, maybe? Tranquill? Incompetency is something that can’t be forgiven, I suppose. Since you are here now, it must mean my servants are dead?”

“Spare me your meaningless words, you’ll be joining those ‘servants’ soon enough,” Kayden retorted, tightening the grip on his sword.

“Wait, wait. I am trying to have a civilized conversation here. I have an offer for you. A mage is but the larval state of something greater-”

“I told you, I’m not here to listen to you!” Kayden interrupted.

"Yes, you're here to get in the way, like all good little protagonists usually do.” Uldred sighed. “Too bad this isn't one of your little fairy tales. Here I am trying to offer you a gift, and yet you refuse to accept it.”

Narrowing his eyes and gritting his teeth, Kayden lifted his right hand, sending a spike of ice in Uldred’s direction, only narrowly missing his target. His next one would hit, he was sure of it.

“Tsk tsk… Such terrible manners. You won’t accept a gift from a Senior Enchanter. I bet you won’t even listen to me about your friend Jowan or Niall. “

Kayden glared at him for a moment, “How dare you…”

“Oh? I’ve got your attention now? Should I start with Jowan, the blood mage, cast out of our little circle? We were considering Niall too; he would have joined in time. Would have made a fine addition to our group.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t have to believe me, it doesn’t matter now that they’re both out of the picture,” Uldred said, an amused look on his face, “Where is Jowan by the way? I hear he escaped? Perhaps he was more resourceful than I expected. Ah… such is life.”

“Fuck. You.” Kayden growled.

“Ah, I could only expect such eloquence from Irving’s star,” Uldred started, but before he could say another word, Kayden had launched another, larger spike of ice toward the blood mage. A wall of ice grew around them, cutting them off from the other mages in the room just as Kayden’s group was entering the Harrowing Chamber.

“Kayden! Stop! What are you doing?” He couldn’t tell who’s voice it was, but he paid it no mind, his target was Uldred right now. As far as he could tell where he was standing, Uldred was a dead man walking.

He lunged forward, his sword leaving a trail of sparks as it scraped against the floor in an upward arc. The surprised look on Uldred’s face was priceless, but all too soon, things began to change. Horns sprouted from his body, and his flesh ripped apart and slid to the floor in a wet mess of blood and snapping bone as the demon possessing him decided to finally show itself. What was once Uldred was gone, and in it’s place a hulking Pride demon.

Kayden gritted his teeth. That was something he hadn’t expected. However, regardless of the form Uldred took, Kayden was going to kill him; Kayden was going to have his blood. Niall would be avenged.

One of the demon’s fists slammed down on him, sending him head first into the ground. He blinked, where had that attack come from? Just as the other fist came down, Kayden rolled out of the way, the floor around him beginning to ice over. The demon’s fist slammed into the ice instead, shattering it like glass.

Kayden took control of the icy debris almost immediately, sending them back towards the demon, slicing tiny cuts all over the demon’s thick skin. It howled, and launched itself at Kayden again as he continued to lower the temperature of the air around them.

The demon continued to relentlessly pound at Kayden, slamming him to the ground so many times Kayden stopped counting. Silently, he thanked whoever was responsible for this armor again; right now, he couldn’t even recall who had given it to him. He rolled out of the way from another attack, bringing up a pillar of ice to freeze the demon’s arm to the ground. It tried to shake free of the ice, giving Kayden a chance to stand up. With a quick downward arc, he shattered the frozen arm.

Another wail came from the demon, and its eyes glowed red as it turned to look at Kayden. One arm down didn’t seem to give Kayden the upper-hand, as it came back at him with renewed vigour. He was barely able to block the attacks as he backed into his wall of ice.

There was a banging sound. He looked around trying to figure out where it was coming from before realizing it was coming from behind him. Someone was trying to get through the wall. There was no way he was going to let that happen. He renewed the spell, putting another layer of ice between him and whatever was on the other side, just as a giant fist slammed into the wall next to his head.

Kayden looked back at the demon, wide-eyed, as the fist came back horizontally. It slammed into his side, sending him flying in the other direction. He hit the ice hard, feeling more than a little dizzy as he tried to pull himself back up. He slipped, falling and hitting the ice again.

Before he knew it, the fist came down on him again, and the grip on his sword loosened and slipped from his grasp. Then again… and again the fist continued to come down. As he lost concentration, the ice wall began to fall.

“Kayden!” A voice yelled. Who? He looked back, seeing the wall… the melting wall. That’s all there was; white, melting ice everywhere. And he had failed. The voice continued, and he was again in the Fade, looking around. Why?

“Kayden, don’t give up now!” It was… Niall…

Kayden forced himself up, pulling down the ice wall with his mind, reclaiming the ice, shattering it, and sending the rest in spears towards the demon. The air around him grew ever colder as he formed the blizzard in his mind, letting it rain ice in the Harrowing chamber. It pelted the ground around him, leaving holes in the demon.

Was it dead yet? he wondered, not letting up on the spell. He decided he would let it continue until there was nothing left of Uldred because he. was. nothing. Kayden gritted his teeth, intensifying the spell.

“That’s enough, Kade, he’s dead!” someone said. It didn’t matter, Kayden didn’t care, he wasn’t about to let up, not yet. Hatred only rose as the temperature dropped, he felt nothing but the icy hands of death, the Fade.

“You’re going to kill us all!” came another voice. He still didn’t want to listen. What did they know anyway? What did Kayden care if he died? If everyone else died? It’s not like it mattered now. That’s right, nothing mattered.

He was lost… all was lost, and the world around him would suffer for it. The roof collapsed to his right, he could hear the sound of loose boards hitting the floor as the blizzard spread outside the tower. How far it would spread, he didn’t know, nor did he care right now. The tears came, instantly freezing as they hit the air, and he collapsed to his knees.

“I’m sorry…” came a voice behind him. He didn’t know or care who it was, and he didn’t know why they were apologizing, all he knew was that everyone should be apologizing right now. A sharp pain spread through him and soon everything went bright white, clouding his vision… and then blackness...

**o O o**

He wasn’t sure how long he was out, but when he awoke, he was in a bed. That was probably the best he could hope for at a time like this anyway. Kayden groaned, trying to pull himself up, every muscle in his body protesting the movement.

Somewhere outside the room, he could hear a heated argument. The sides were voices he knew; Alistair and the Knight-Commander. What they were arguing about, he couldn’t really tell, especially with another set of voices closer.

“Zev?” he called at the first voice he heard. The elf was next to his bed a moment later, and then another. Kayden knew that face; Alim was not happy about something.

Before Kayden could start telling Alim it wasn’t him, Zevran spoke up. “Finally awake, I see.”

Kayden blinked, looking over the two. “Yeah... How long was I out?”

“About an hour and a half,” Alim said, nudging Zevran to the side a bit so he could look over Kayden. “I tried healing you after the... incident. It shouldn’t be too bad though. How are you feeling? Any soreness, stiffness? Light-headed?”

“Sore? Yes. Stiff? Very. Light-headed? Not so much.” Kayden answered, forcing himself to sit up. “Personal space please. I can’t breath with you hovering that close.”

“You heard that, Zevran? I told you you weren’t needed in here, scoot!” Alim said, trying to shoo the Antivan away.

Zevran crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow, “I think he was talking to you, my friend.”

Kayden looked over the two elves. Did he even want to know what was going on right now? “Be nice, Alim.” He stretched and stood up.

“Kade, you really shouldn’t be getting up yet!” Alim protested, trying to push him back down on the bed.

“It’s fine, I’m fine. There’s not time for me to by lying down on the job anyway.” Kayden walked out into the hall and started toward Niall’s room. He only noticed the two of them were still following him when he was rummaging through Niall’s desk.

“Kade? May I ask what you are looking for?” Zevran asked, looking over the desk as well. Kayden noticed Alim glaring at the other elf. Why?

“Before Niall... Well he told me I could have his spellbook.” He looked away from the others for a moment, wiping his eyes before things could get any worse. He was too exhausted to cry more right now anyway.

After a few minutes, Zevran tapped an item against his arm and he turned to look. “This it?”  he asked when he knew he had Kayden’s attention.

“Yeah, that’s it.” Kayden took the book. It was a lot like his own spellbook, but then again this was something he had learned from Niall. Kayden decided now wasn’t a good time to look through the spellbook. He’d do it later.

In the background, the argument was quickly escalating. Kayden turned around and looked toward the doorway. “What are they arguing about anyway?”

“You,” the elves said in unision. Alim scowled at Zevran. Zevran continued as Alim glared at his back. “The knight commander, what’s his name? Well he thinks you’re dangerous and you shouldn’t be allowed to leave the Tower, but our friend, Alistair, has made the point that you are a Grey Warden and that you saved the Tower.”  
  
Alim pushed Zevran aside. “There’s no need to worry about it. No one seems to be on Greagoir’s side anyway. Wynne and Irving are pleading your case. Cullen’s just kinda been watching.”

Kayden was still staring at the door. “Well from the sound of it, Cullen’s finally speaking up. Loudly.” Kayden sighed and closed his eyes. “Before I left with Duncan, Greagoir said that he should have made me tranquil when he had the chance. I guess I’ve just proven his point.”

He walked over to the door, but then stopped and looked back at them. “Alim, did you hear anything about that?”

The elf looked confused, but quickly shook his head. “I haven’t, but I don’t think they would have told me if they were considering the Rite.”

Kayden only nodded a response and walked down the hall again, Alim and Zevran not far behind. He reached the door of Irving’s office. The wood was barely still on its hinges and splintered in many places. The room beyond it was a mess as well. Notes and books were scattered across the floor, there were scorch marks on the shelves, books and furniture, and the tapestries had been torn from the walls shredded and cast about the room.

Out of all the tables flipped over on their sides, the only thing that still seemed to be in the same spot was Irving’s desk. Kayden decided to start there. Searching through the documents on his desk and then moving on to the drawers.

Most of the documents and books that were on his desk were torn, but still legible. A lot of them were about management issues. How many new blankets were needed, measurements of various mages and apprentices for new robes, kitchen and stock room inventories, etc. Nothing really of interest.

The drawers were of even less interest, holding mostly spare writing supplies and small trinkets. If there was such a document for his possible tranquility, it was likely scattered amongst the papers on the floor. He moved on to those.

“Kayden! This is crazy!” Alim said. The two elves were just standing nearby watching. “Is it really that important for you to know?”

“Yes, it is,” Kayden replied, not looking up from the various papers he had started sorting through. He was already placing them in piles as if he were ready to file them.

“Why?” Zevran asked.

Kayden paused and looked back at Zevran for a moment. Zevran was not a tower mage. He did not understand, he could not understand. Kayden knew this, but he also didn’t think Zevran would be satisfied with an answer like that. He sighed and looked back at the papers in his hands. “Because it would change things,” he finally said after a few moments of awkward silence.

Zevran looked back at him again. Kayden put the papers down. He wasn’t finding what he was looking for. It was likely the document he was searching for didn’t even exist, and he had brought Zevran and Alim in here for nothing.

And then, something caught his eye. His gaze shifted toward the item. It was something black, partially hidden by debris and papers. Kayden moved the items off of it to reveal a dust-covered tome. He blew the dust off the book and opened it up, searching through the pages.

This wasn’t just any book; it was a spellbook. He had at first guessed it might be Irving’s, but the handwritten pages seemed somehow… wild.   _Like Morrigan_ , he thought, trying to best make sense of the cipher. No matter how he tried, the cipher refused to give him its secrets, and a failed read magic spell later, there was a definite push to his mental awareness. It was as if the book itself were alive, as if it were trying to tell him, “ _These pages were not meant for your eyes_."

 _Curious_ ,he thought, closing the book and looking over the black, leather cover. It was mostly plain, the emblem of an old tree on the front. There really didn’t seem to be anything special about it, but the wild feeling it gave him. He decided to keep the book.  Maybe he’d show it to Morrigan later and see if she could make anything of it.

He stood up and stretched out a bit, then left Irving’s office, completely ignoring any questions or protests from the two elves that inevitably followed him back to the room he had woken up in. He put both items in his pack, planning to go through Niall’s spellbook when he had the time… when the things that had happened in the Tower weren’t so fresh in his mind.

That was silly though, he thought. They were in the middle of a war with the darkspawn, and civil war was threatening to begin at any moment. The spellbook was important, increasing his own abilities as a mage, as a Warden, as someone who actually had influence on what was to happen in the near future of Ferelden. He, a mage, actually had influence.

His mind spun at the final realization, just as the angry shouting match down the hall seemed to come to an abrupt end. That was enough to jolt him from his thoughts. He turned back to Alim and Zevran, ready to ask them what was going on as Alistair entered the room.

“We really need to go. Now would be a good time...” Alistair pleaded, eyeing the door. “First Enchanter Irving and Senior Enchanter Wynn have agreed to help us with the demon at Redcliffe, and I’d really like to go now.”

Kayden nodded, they really did need to leave. He could rest some more as soon as they returned to Redcliffe. He gathered his things and followed Alistair back to the entrance hall.

“Alistair… do you think you can carry my armor? Just this once? After we leave Redcliffe, I’ll handle it myself, but I’m too tired right now.” Kayden asked as they reached the door. Alistair didn’t argue, in fact, he didn’t say anything at all.  For just a brief moment, Kayden saw the look on the man’s face before he took the armor and turned away.

Kayden had known something was wrong since he woke up, but he had at first assumed it was because of the argument he was having with the Knight-Commander. Was there more to it than that? Was he upset about what happened up in the Harrowing Chamber?

 _He’s mad at me_ … was the conclusion Kayden came to. He had every right to be too; Kayden could have killed all of them up there when he’d lost control of his magic like that. Someone like him really shouldn’t be leading the Wardens in Ferelden.

**o O o**

The boat ride back to Redcliffe castle was relatively quiet. Irving and Wynne were sitting together talking about their plan for getting rid of the demon in the Fade. They wanted to send Kayden into the Fade for this, when really they could send anyone… He didn’t speak up yet, but he knew he was far too tired for this. Thinking back on his little adventure in the Fade at the Tower and how Alistair wouldn’t even look at him at the moment had him more stressed than he ever remembered being.

When they were finally approaching the castle, he turned to Zevran. “Who did it?”

“Did what?”

“Knocked me out.”

Zevran sighed and turned to look at Alistair. “He used one of those Templar skills of his. You should probably talk to him about it.”

“Zev… he won’t even look at me. He must hate me…”

The elven rogue just shook his head, “I don’t really think that’s it, my friend.”

Kayden looked out at the dock. He really wanted to believe that wasn’t the case, but he couldn’t shake the feeling. “Well, we’re back, I guess. There’s work to be done.”

The elf just nodded as they made their way to the castle and into the main hall. The trip had taken up more time than he’d originally planned to take, thanks to the detour in the Fade. He was looking at being about half a day late, and while he had received a small amount of sleep, it was only thanks to Alistair from the sound of it. He was looking forward to a nice warm bath and a bed.

“Kayden, you with us?” a female voice asked. He hadn’t even realized when they’d entered the room that Leliana was already there. He briefly wondered where Morrigan and Sten were.

The mage nodded. “I’m sorry, what were you asking me again?”

“Who will be entering the Fade, child?” Irving asked. Kayden sighed. He knew that was going to be asked eventually, and he really didn’t want to be the one to do it. He scanned the room, and noticed Jowan was there, sitting in the corner and seemingly trying to act inconspicuous.

“Jowan will be,” he said. He wasn’t sure how good of an idea that was, but it was likely to help matters here at the castle if he was the one to help the family.

“Kade, are you really sure?” Jowan asked, “What if I…”

“You won’t. You’ll do just fine. I’m exhausted, I can’t do it. It needs to be you.”

Jowan gave him a slow, reluctant nod and moved toward the center of the room. He nodded to Irving and Wynne, signalling that he was ready. The preparations were made and Kayden watched Jowan’s body drop. He was in.


	9. Hunting Grounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Author’s Note:** Wow… it took me forever to finally get the motivation to continue to work on this again. I know, it’s been _months_. A lot of things have happened since then; and I also have a new beta now. I apologize for how long it’s taken me to actually get this one together and up, but I’m going to try my best to put in more chapters in a better time frame. We’ll see how it works out. Anyway, I’d like to thank my new beta, MMC for agreeing to beta for me and looking over my chapters. She has a very good eye for detail and notices the mistakes I miss. xD
> 
>  **Warning:** Some Gore… AKA Lots of blood. This chapter, and others will be straying somewhat from the Origins plot. Be aware that this “Blight Fic” is not centered around the Blight, nor is it fully centered around a particular romance (even though one will be present and acknowledged). As the title of the story suggests, this is about Kayden’s connection to the Fade; it simply happens that this is taking place during the Blight. And finally, as the summary also suggested, we get to see a bit more of his attractiveness to spirits!

_”The scars I have, and the ones I've given, even if they fade away,_  
they will forever be imprinted on my spirit.  
Bear with them, for nothing I've done can be undone, though I regret.  
Forgive me, please, but I will not ask you to forget.“ 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A stone skid across the surface of the water, sending light ripples spreading outward around it as it hit each time. It scattered the deep pink and purple light of the fading sun that now hung low in the sky and offset the jagged, black silhouette that loomed in the distance. An ever-present reminder of the events of the previous day.

Lacking the energy, physically and emotionally, Kayden had sent Jowan into the Fade to put an end to the madness happening at Redcliffe. He hadn’t even had the heart to tell Jowan about Niall, though he kept telling himself that he’d have to eventually. No one questioned him, and no one stopped him as he made his way out of the castle proper, through the courtyard and down toward the lake to sit upon the dock.

As the sun sank, so did both his mood and the temperature around him, until soon the wooden dock was slick with ice and the grass around it covered in a light frost. He barely noticed when the sun finally disappeared beyond the horizon, barely noticed when darkness swept over him. The twinkling of the stars above reflected in the black abyss that was the lake before him. 

He sought the cold, called it to him, sought the darkness, called it to him. It didn’t matter to him if he covered everything in a blanket of snow and ice. It didn’t matter to him if winter came, in fact, he would embrace it, rule over it. It was about time everyone slept anyway, forgotten under the midnight snow.

Suddenly, there was a change in the wind. He could feel something… warmer approaching him. How _dare_ they disturb the ice! Disturb the cold, disturb his thoughts! His lyrium gaze shifted until he could see the silhouette of an armored man nearby. There was something familiar about him, yet so distant in the ice. Friend or foe, he could not tell. But did it matter? The snow could take him, everything he cared about was being taken anyway.

And yet he hesitated, watching the man look around as if to size up the area. The man wasn’t sure what to do, Kayden realized, and this only made him curious. He watched for a moment until the man finally realized that Kayden’s lyrium blue eyes were on him. Then finally, he walked over.

“Alistair…” Kayden said in greeting, turning to look back at the lake. Alistair’s footsteps stopped on the dock just behind him, but Kayden didn’t look back at him as he cleared his throat. “Do you need something?”

“I… we’ve been looking for you,” the man said slowly. “We were about to have dinner.”

“Surely you can eat without me,” Kayden responded, his tone as icy as his mood. Truth be told, he was rather hungry, he simply did not wish for company at the moment.

“You’re angry with me?”

Kayden blinked, turning back to look at Alistair finally, “Who sent you to come looking for me?”

Alistair shook his head, “No one, I just… wanted to apologize…”

Kayden looked away again. “I wasn’t angry with you. I endangered the group, I was… out of control. I figured you might be angry with me; that the others would be as well.”

“You just watched…”

“My best friend die. Yes, I know. I’ve been out here thinking about what happened at the Tower… about my actions… about… Niall…”

He heard Alistair move again until finally, the almost-Templar was seated beside him, wrapping an arm around him for support. 

Kayden flinched, but somehow, he couldn’t manage to pull away. After a few moment of silence, he leaned against the other man with a deep sigh. It took a while for him to finally speak again. “It’s selfish of me, isn’t it? I’ve never lost someone close to me like this before… and you… you just lost Duncan. You said it yourself; he was important to you.”

Alistair gave Kayden’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, “There’s nothing wrong with being a little selfish sometimes.”

The mage looked back at Alistair then, his face finally showing the grief he felt. He shifted a bit closer, putting an arm around Alistair as well. For some reason he was comfortable around Alistair, even though they hadn’t known each other for long. They shared the silence for a little while longer, looking over the lake. It didn’t matter to him if their food grew cold or had to be reheated. It didn’t matter to him that neither of them were talking; the silence spoke enough.

Finally, Alistair pulled away and stood up, offering a hand to Kayden, “Let’s go eat. You don’t have to eat with the others if you don’t want to, I can ask that your meal be brought to your room?”

Kayden nodded, taking the hand offered and pulling himself up as well. “I would appreciate that,” he said slowly. His lyrium gaze flicked to the ground for a moment, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being supportive.”

Alistair gave him a soft smile, “That’s what friends are for, right? I should be thanking you as well. For what you did for them.”

Kayden looked back at Alistair then, “I… of course.”

“Anyway, let’s get going.”

The mage nodded again and followed Alistair back up the dock and into the castle once more.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun trickled through the thick canopy as the group traveled through the forest. Kayden had decided he wanted to stay off the main road for now, and took a deep breath at the fresh nature scents. It seemed everyone was giving him space right now. He wondered if Alistair had told them he needed it, but it didn’t really matter to him whether or not Alistair had said anything. The quiet was nice, and he needed the time to think anyway.

He’d been unable to convince Teagan to let Jowan go, despite the fact that he had personally entered the Fade to take care of the demon possessing Conner. Kayden, however, disapproved of the idea of them keeping his friend locked up in the castle any longer, and instead had managed to sneak him out the same way they had entered the castle the first time; through the passageway in the dungeon and out of the windmill. 

Not him though, he had convinced Zevran and Morrigan to do it. The group later met up not far from Redcliffe, but well into the forest. The mage was still unable to tell Jowan what happened at the tower, even though his friend had protested. Kayden promised that he would at some point, he knew he’d have to eventually. He walked behind the group thinking about just how he was going to break the news to his friend. Probably at camp later that night, preferably alone.

Volfson walked nearby, sniffing at various things as they walked. Occasionally, he darted off deeper into the forest, only to return not long later with small animals, usually toads, shrews or rats, none of which the group was interested. The mabari brought back a few rabbits eventually though. They quickly were incorporated into the group’s midday meal along with the rations they had brought with them.

When they set off again, Kayden hung to the back once more, continuing to watch the group. Alistair and Zevran were chatting near the front of the group, but they were too far away for him to be able to tell what they were talking about. The closest pair he could see was Leliana and Sten talking. They were close enough that he picked up some of the conversation at times. It seemed Sten had some rather… curious views on women with weapons, ones that Leliana seemed to protest. Luckily, nothing serious came of it.

Interestingly enough, he noticed Jowan had approached Morrigan. What they were talking about, he wasn’t sure. Probably magic, he figured. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it seemed that Morrigan wasn’t running him off. He could only assume that Morrigan either wasn’t referring to him as having inferior intelligence, or they were actually getting along. The latter would be surprising. It wasn’t that he thought Jowan unintelligent, but Morrigan did have a way of making one feel that way. Alistair at least. She didn’t seem to call Zevran’s intelligence in question, more often she simply rejected his advances with quick wit. 

Eventually, his gaze fell on the Antivan assassin. Well, his back at least, and for a while, Kayden just watched him walk as he continued to think. He'd told Kayden to call him 'Zev', something he said that his friends called him. Were they really friends? They'd only just met. He could say the same about everyone there in the group. Leliana, he barely talked to. She was great with a bow and a terrific singer, but still, he couldn’t say he knew her well. Sten was good to have in combat, but he rarely said a word to anyone. Morrigan... she'd been called a total bitch by the only man in the group that Kayden thought he felt like he was starting to get to know; his fellow Warden. Were they even friends? Despite this, he and Morrigan did seem to get along.

It was too soon for him to start thinking of any of them in such a way, and part of him really didn't want to get too close. Enough that they trusted each other to help during the Blight, but eventually they'd all go their separate ways and eventually they would become strangers once again. Except for Alistair, most likely. Kayden decided at the very least, he'd try to become friends with Alistair. Make new memories, move beyond the Tower... Kayden sighed, looking at the ground, watching his feet as they continued their forward pace. Why did he have to start thinking about that again now?

He could hear Jowan's voice now. It was soft as he spoke to Morrigan, and yet, it seemed to be the only sound Kayden could hear right now. A sense of dread filled him. He'd have to talk to Jowan about what happened at the Tower... tonight maybe. He still wasn't sure he had it in him. But something told him he'd be doing Jowan a huge disservice by keeping it a secret from the other man.

It was starting to get dark by the time the group finally stopped to set up camp for the night. Volfson bolted to the center of the camp with yet another rabbit he'd caught, and triumphantly dropped it by where Alistair was setting up a fire. The mabari wagged his tail, eyes on the man. Alistair laughed, and pet the dog.

With a satisfied bark, the mabari trotted away, making his way toward Kayden, who had perched on a nearby log still watching the group. Volfson dropped his head on Kayden's lap, staring up at him for a while before giving another woof for attention. Kayden finally brought a hand up to pet the mabari, a mindless motion that seemed more routine than anything.

After a while, a bowl was placed beside him on the log. Kayden looked up to see Alistair. "What's this?" 

"Lamb and pea stew." 

"Is it supposed to be this... grey?" 

"You don't know much about Ferelden dining, do you? And here I thought you were from Ferelden." 

Kayden shook his head, looking over the bowl once more, before picking it up, "I'm actually from Kirkwall."

"But you've lived in the Tower most of your life, right?" 

Kayden nodded. 

"Tower food must have been different then. You see, out in the real world we take our ingredients, throw them into the largest pot we can find, and cook them for as long as possible until everything is a uniform grey color. As soon as it looks completely bland and unappetizing, that's when I know it's done." 

Kayden looked back at Alistair, "You're kidding, right? Please tell me you're joking?" 

Alistair laughed, "We'll have to take you to eat at more Fereldan inns." 

"I’d prefer you didn’t..."

They ate in silence after that. The cracking sound of the fire and of his mabari walking around the camp were the only sounds that really seemed to register to Kayden right now. After Leliana had finished eating, he noticed her picking up her lute, and she sang for the group. 

He set his bowl on the ground and leaned back on the log as he listened to her voice. Someone took his bowl at some point, though he hadn't noticed who. When he turned back to the side, Alistair was gone again, and the mage hadn't even heard him wander off. 

_Pay attention, Kayden_ , he told himself. _There's an assassin in the group_ , he reminded himself, _one that was sent specifically to kill you_.

Not moving from his spot on the log, Kayden looked around the camp to locate Jowan. It didn't take him long to notice the man sitting away from the group with Morrigan. Seemed like they were making more poultices; just like he'd done with her back in Lothering. 

Kayden let out a long sigh. He couldn't keep putting off talking to Jowan. Not much longer at least. And yet, he opted to let him continue with his poultice making for now. The news could... wait just a little bit longer.

He stood up and stretched a bit before approaching Alistair once more. Trying to keep his mind off the subject, he decided to bring up their plans instead. “So… do you really think this urn exists?” he asked, settling to help Alistair finish cleaning up after dinner.

“I’m not sure,” the man admitted. “If the urn does exist, I’m not sure it’s even meant to be found. This could all be just some wild goose chase.”

Kayden nodded, “I considered that myself. I’ve never been particularly religious,” he said, “I’ll be surprised if we do manage to find it.”

Alistair smirked a bit, “I”ll be impressed if we do.”

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what Genitivi says. I wonder if he really can give us clues.” Kayden paused thinking back to while they were back in Lothering before moving on to Redcliffe. One of the knights at the Chantry there had mentioned that some of the knights of Redcliffe were in search of the urn themselves. He looked back at Alistair. “Do you think the Redcliffe knights also sought out Genitivi?”

“It’s possible. Perhaps we’ll find out. They haven’t returned yet, maybe they’re still looking?”

“Maybe. Perhaps they might get lucky and find the urn before us.”

“I wonder if that would make things easier on us or end up just meaning we’re wasting our time?”

“This whole trip might be a waste of time anyway if the urn doesn’t exist,” Kayden said with a sigh.

“Let’s just hope it does then,” Alistair said, placing a hand on Kayden’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “Maker knows we could really use Eamon’s support.”

Kayden gave another slow nod. “Yeah, you’re right. We need all the help we can get. The two of us have a lot on our plates at the moment, don’t we?”

“You know what they say about a Warden’s appetite,” Alistair joked.

Kayden chuckled, “Right.”

“Anyway,” Alistair started, putting the cleaned bowls to the side, “Are you ready for more training? Before it gets too dark would be nice.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next few days remained uneventful, and Kayden continued to come up with more excuses not to approach Jowan. In fact, he had been avoiding not just the conversation, but the man himself. He hoped the other mage hadn’t noticed, but he feared if this continued it would become rather obvious.

He continued his morning and now evening trainings with Alistair, forcing himself to appear constantly busy with something whether it be hunting, cooking, repairing equipment or making new potions and poultices. When asked if he needed help, he politely declined and continued on with his work without another word.

It wasn’t until the fourth day on the road that something seemed to feel… different. A whisper in the wind, calling out, searching. But what for? He wasn’t entirely sure. He might have ignored it had it not continued on, nudging at his senses for the entirety of the day. He looked around the moving group, no one else seemed to notice it. Kayden shook his head, deciding it was nothing as he moved on with the group.

By the time they set up camp that evening, the whispers came more often, and more urgent this time. Now he could tell they weren’t just searching, they were calling for someone. It seemed to him like a call for help. 

He waited until Morrigan was alone before approaching the solitary tent set away from the others. Far enough for a small bit of freedom to her thoughts, but close enough to the group to not be out of sight. The scent of her tent washed over him first, like frost on a cold morning; herbal balms, elfroot, and wild mint with traces of sandalwood, juniper and a spicy scent he didn’t recognize. It seemed she was quite busy into her potion making already. 

“Have you come to help, perhaps?” She asked, though her tone did not convey a question in her voice as she offered him various supplies and gestured for him to sit.

Kayden did what he was told, taking the materials and sitting down on a cushion nearby her cauldron, the fire she only just begun to stoke. 

“You owe me a favor anyway,” She continued, “for having me babysit your friend while your attention has been elsewhere.”

“I… apologize…” he started, only to be cut off by her.

“Far be it for me to meddle in your personal affairs, but don’t you think you should be talking to him, hm?” She said, her voice as calm and even as usual.

Kayden took a deep breath. “You are right, I know this, but I am not ready to talk to him yet. I did, however, come to speak with you.”

“Speak, then. I do not believe the ground is ready to open beneath our feet and swallow us up. At least not for the moment.”

For a moment, he thought how he would bring up the topic and briefly considered the possibility that she might ask him if he hit his head. He decide at last that it was potentially important, and he needed to be straightforward about it. “There seems to be a… presence following us. It doesn’t seem to be humanoid in nature, nor like any animal.”

“A spirit,” Morrigan said, nodding, “I’ve noticed it as well, though it doesn’t seem to be a threat for now. I also don’t believe it is following us so much as vying for our attention. It seems to want to be found.”

“You think its trying to lead us somewhere then?”

“Perhaps, but one can never tell with spirits. Such is their nature. I would advise against any contact with it as we have more pressing matters to deal with. Your Loghain for one.”

Kayden nodded, knowing she was right. Even if there weren’t other things to worry about, it was really never good to become mixed up with the denizens of the Fade, demon or not. He didn’t, however, mention that this was not the first time a spirit has tried to get his attention before. They didn’t seem to like sticking to the Fade when it came to him, and often they tugged at his senses while he remained yet awake. He wondered if it was like that for the woman as well. She did notice the spirit.

They sat for a while continuing their work on various potions, poultices and salves. Maker knew they needed them, until finally, he remembered that book he found while he was in the Tower. Abruptly, he stopped what he was doing, setting aside a mortar and pestle before hopping to his feet, “Hold on just a moment, I am suddenly reminded of something,” he said, rushing over to his tent and sorting through is pack until he came to the item he sought.

His hand glided over the dark leather of the tome once more, fingers tracing the worn old tree haunting the cover. It continued pushing at his senses, wanting to be rid of his touch. Yanking his eyes away from the black grimoire once more, he pulled himself to his feet and tucked the item under his arm. 

He made his way back to Morrigan’s tent after that, stopping once to pet Volfson and throw a stick for him. The mabari bounded off after the stick and then padded off to Alistair with it. Kayden chuckled and shook his head before ducking back into the tent once more.

Morrigan peered up at him, a seemingly curious expression appeared on her face, though the tone in her voice displayed annoyance, “What was so important that you had to interrupt our conversation and work so abruptly?”

Kayden said nothing, instead opting to offer the book to her. She looked over it for a moment before finally taking it from him. He couldn’t tell by the look on her face just what she was thinking about it. After a moment, her hand delicately traced the leafless tree it found on the cover. She seemed to be in awe of it and admiring each intricate detail as skin touched the worn bronze of the tree and the old dark leather of the cover and binding.

After a long time, she finally looked back up at the other mage. “You found Flemeth’s grimoire. I was starting to think it lost forever.” 

_So that’s what it is_ Kayden thought, giving her a nod as if he had known exactly what it was all along. He’d guessed right when he’d decided to give the item to Morrigan. “It’s warded,” he warned as an afterthought.

“Nothing I can not handle,” the woman said, flipping the cover open, careful not to bend the old binding too much. “I will begin to study this immediately.”

“What do you think you will find in there?”

“Mother’s secrets of course,” she said in a slow voice, clearly already reading the first page. After a moment, she looked back up at Kayden. “You have my thanks, Warden. If you wish to speak of anything else, now is the time. Otherwise,” she added, waving a hand, “leave me be, I would prefer to study in privacy.”

Kayden shook his head, “There’s nothing else.”

“Good,” Morrigan replied, flipping the page and continuing on. “I will update you on my findings once I’ve finished.”

Kayden nodded again, looking back at the poultices he was working on. “I should finish these first…”

“Do as you wish, but do not disturb me,” Morrigan said, not turning away from the book as she spoke.

They sat for a while in silence as Kayden finished working on the poultices. Eventually, he returned to his tent to sleep.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kayden tossed and turned in his tent that night; sleep just wasn’t coming easy for him tonight. He wasn’t sure if it was the influence of the spirit, or the stress of being a Warden and the song that sang to him in his sleep, but something was calling to him, even in his waking moments. There were whispers at the edge of his consciousness, a continued call that he eventually decided was a plea for help. If it wasn’t an outright trick of demons.

The whispers themselves grew louder sometimes, as if they were just outside his tent, and then softer as if whatever was uttering those words to the wind had moved away. It was as if the Fade had come to meet him in the real world, and he found it more than a little disturbing. 

Eventually, he peeked out of his tent, but saw nothing other than the fading fire and the other tents. Sten sat nearby the fire, keeping watch, his eyes moving as he scanned the darkness around their campsite. The mage sighed, moving back into his tent, but just as he was about to close the flap, a glimmer of white at the edge of the trees caught his eyes.

He paused, straightening up a bit as he looked it over. A white stag, so bright it seemed like it was shining in the darkness. His gaze turned back to Sten, wondering if the big Qunari could see the creature at the edge of the campsite, but his eyes seemed to be in another direction. Was that perhaps the spirit that Kayden had been sensing? When the whispers started up again, he decided it was. 

Slowly, he moved out of the tent, picking up only his sword as he crept along the shadows at the edge of the campsite, keeping out of the Qunari’s vision all the while. He kept his eyes on the ground, deciding where best to step, away from any dead leaves or twigs as he made his way toward the white stag.

When he drew closer, the stag began to move deeper into the forest. The closer he came, the deeper the stag went. He didn’t question why he followed the creature, it must have been some sort of vague sense of curiosity, perhaps it was his odd connection to spirits that he seemed to have had since he was young. They were attracted to him, and he in turn was attracted to them.

In spite of all the whispers that tugged at his mage sense, the forest was eerily silent. It was then that white shadowy shapes began to appear on each side of his peripherals. He turned to each side, but he couldn’t notice anything out of the ordinary each time. More whispers were added to the ones already calling him forward. 

The whispers began to overwhelm his senses to the point when he became so worried that he considered returning back to his tent, but when he turned around, it seemed that direction was much less inviting than the light of the stag he’d been following.

He turned back once more, following the stag, keeping alert to the white spirits that seemed to be following him on both sides. Were they really following him? Or were they more interested in the stag? Were they friend or foe? He couldn’t be certain, but for now, they seemed to only be watching.

The whispering grew louder and louder until eventually it was pounding in his ears like the rhythmic beating of a drum. And yet on he moved, ducking below low branches and warily alert of the spirits that crept nearby as every one of his senses screamed for him to go back, that he should have listened to Morrigan.

And then, the whispers stopped. The light of the stag was gone, and the shadows around him were gone. His movement slowed and he stopped. Looking around, he noticed he was at the darkened mouth of a cave that seemed ready to swallow him whole. 

He peered into it for a moment, watching the darkness, unable to divert his eyes. There was a moment of dread filling him up as the darkness seemed to grow around him and he wondered how he had managed the quickest, cleanest harrowing if he could so easily be led by the spirits away from his camp. Away from the group that had sworn themselves to him to stop the Blight.

Something brushed against his shoulder, and he flinched, looking back to see nothing but the forest behind him. He swallowed and took a deep breath, looking back at the mouth of the cave. It was no longer dark. Deep inside he could see a small light, flickering faintly like a dying flame.

Softly, the whispering began once more and his legs began to move without his permission, closing in on the tiny flame in the distance. This time, the whispers started to become understandable; his name was being called. Not only was something calling for help, it was specifically calling for him. He was being summoned.

He treaded lightly, avoiding the tree roots that grew up from the ground, the hanging moss and the soft, mycelium-covered soil beneath his feet. Ahead, the light began to take on an eerie green glow that grew in intensity with each step. Until he reached a large, labyrinth-like grotto, the green light casting long shadows on the ground. The walls were covered in roots and vines, and starlight trickled in through holes in the stone above.

Ahead, at the entrance to the labyrinth, stood the white stag peering back over its shoulder at Kayden. It looked away after making eye contact and made it’s way into the green maze. He wondered if the stag meant for him to follow, but before he could make up his mind, the sound of howling echoed in the grotto.

All around the entrance of the maze, snarling, man-sized wolves began to enter, following after the stag. He watched on, his eyes opening wide. From the path behind him the white shadows came next, bows drawn and bladed weapons strapped and ready to their sides, as they flooded around him following what he could only guess were werewolves that had just entered the maze. His eyebrows twitched. What in the Void was going on?

The whispers nudged him ahead, the maze called to him, the hunt called to him. Hunt? _That’s right, Kayden, this is the Hunting Grounds. Join them in their hunt._ The mage looked around, trying to see where the voice was coming from before realizing the voice was somehow in his head. 

_Block it out…_ he thought instinctively, recalling his training at the Tower.

 _Why block me out? I am part of you, Kayden. You know me. Look ahead, the Hunting Grounds calls to you. You see that, don’t you?_ The voice paused for a moment as Kayden was nudged into the grotto and out of the tunnel that led him there. _You must participate in the hunt, you must cleanse this area of spiritual activity, allow the spirits to move on to the Fade and to the Beyond. They are restless, they do not belong here._.

“Why do I need to cleanse the area?” Kayden asked the darkness. That voice was familiar, now that he thought about it. He’d heard it before, more than once. The last time he’d heard it, he was in the Fade trying to rescue his friends from the Sloth demon. The time before that… 

_That’s what a man with your level of spirit awareness is taught to do where your family is from_. 

Kayden furrowed his brows, “My family? I thought my family was from Kirkwall?”

_You know so very little of your family; your potential. Your destiny. It’s rather sad really. In this instance, I speak not of the Amells of Kirkwall. I speak of your father’s family. I can not tell you all now, things will be revealed to you. For now, cleanse this area._

He’d heard that said before. His potential. It was then that he realized just _what_ this spirit that was following him was. Last time it had manifested using Kayden’s image, the time before that...

_Took you long enough to figure that one out. Hurry, there isn’t much time._

“Time? What happens if I run out of time?”

_Best not to ask such things until later._

“You don’t even know, do you?”

There was no answer that time, at least none voiced. Instead, he was given another push, this time into the maze. Ahead, the sounds of howling escalated. The sounds told him of a battle being fought. Many battles in fact. Shadow versus beast. Beasts hunting for the stag. He was being shown a glimpse into the past. As he walked, he wondered how long this battle had been playing. Night after night, day after day.

For now, he decided to accept the voice again. A third time. He didn’t know how long he’d be able to continue accepting such a voice. Accepting such a powerful entity. Why did it think it was part of Kayden? Last time he’d checked, he was not possessed. So then what really was it?

 _Do not dwell on such things now. You have a job to do_ , the voice gently reminded him.

Kayden nodded, his hand on his sword as he continued ahead. It took a long time to advance through the maze as he made his way toward the central areal. For the most part, the white shadows ignored him, but the werewolves attacked him on sight. They were vicious and savage, living up to their beast-like visage. Their actions told him that they were simply wolves possessed by rage demons. Unintelligent and only caring about their role as predators. He dealt with them all. They did not belong here. 

A few times, the shadows themselves killed the wolves before Kayden could get to them. He wondered what these creatures were. Would he find out?

_They are remnants; summoned by the Chasind shamans in an age long past. The details are unimportant. They must be cleansed as well._

Kayden nodded, “But how do I do such a thing?”

_Get to the center of the Hunting Grounds. Call them to you, bridge the gap between the real world, through the Fade and to the Void._

“And how do I accomplish that?”

_Blood. Sacrifice. Kill the wolves._

“That sounds an awful lot like blood magic,” Kayden said. But there was no reply again. He let out a deep sigh and continued on, killing the wolves he found along the way. 

Eventually, he reached the central portion of the maze. It was set lower than the rest of the grotto, while the rest of the maze sloped into it, sending small, trickling rivers of blood to meet in a pool at the very center of the green-walled clearing. The white shadows were gathered here, standing in a circle around the blood pool, watching him intently as he entered.

It was then he noticed that the white stag was here in the central area, glowing green with the strange light. It moved toward the pool of blood, letting the substance spread over his hooves as the white shadows turned to watch it. The shadows all began to whisper, urging Kayden on, urging him to complete the hunt, to kill the stag. 

_These spirits called to you. These remnants were unable to return home after their shamans were killed. They are counting on you._

Kayden nodded, stepping forward. Lifting his right hand, he let frost extend from his fingertips, catching the stag and holding him to the spot, just leaving enough room for him to make his killing blow. His sword was already in the other hand and came down in a quick arc, severing its spine at the back of its head. It didn’t even make a sound as Kayden lifted the blade for another strike, it was dead already anyway. This time bringing it straight through the neck, the head and body falling separately into the pool of blood, staining its white fur and sending droplets of blood up into the air.

For a moment, the grotto was in complete silence. No whispers, no howls, no sounds of night time insects singing to the moon. He turned to look at the circle of white shadows, still present, still watching. A breeze picked up, and grew stronger, blowing in a circle around him, gathering the pooled blood in an aerial orb around him. It filled with a light, magical glow, fighting with the eerie green for dominance as it became brighter.

Soon the red light won out, and the droplets of blood in the air spread, forcing their way to individual shadows like huge spikes of ice. The shadows expanded, becoming more fluid as they lost their humanoid shapes. They sprang towards what was left of the blood pool in the center of the maze. The red light brightened still, until it was blinding, until Kayden could no longer see.

And then it went dark.

It took Kayden some time to adjust to the soft, green light once more. The pool of blood was gone, as was the stag and the shadows. All that was left was him and the maze.

He let out a deep breath. He wasn’t sure if he’d gotten it right, but if the shadows were gone, he decided that meant he’d done his job. Whatever that was really supposed to be. There was no real way for him to gauge such a feat, not yet at least.

It was then that he heard a thump behind him and turned around just in time to see one of the large wolves hit the ground, a dagger wedged between its vertebrae, just below the neck.

“You really should be paying more attention, my Warden. Good thing I was around, _si_?” 

His head tilted a bit to see the golden-haired assassin, grinning back at him from behind his kill. The elf was already pulling out the blade and wiping the blood off with a cloth he’d pulled from a pouch. 

“Zevran,” he greeted, wondering how he managed not to notice the assassin this time, nor the wolf for that matter. Perhaps he was simply tired. 

“The one and only,” Zevran said, sliding the dagger back into its sheath. “I am rather curious though; why did you come so far from the camp? Interested in wolves?”

Kayden shook his head. “I just… couldn’t sleep.” 

The assassin snorted, tilting his chin to the side as he gestured to the beast at his feet. “This one had been following you for the past couple minutes. As soon as you entered the tunnel really. I’m not sure why he waited to strike until you reached the center. Within the hedges would have been much easier.”

 _Past couple minutes?_ Kayden wondered, his eyes widening only a little. _But I’d been wandering the maze for nearly an hour… perhaps longer…_

“Is something the matter, Kade? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost?”

Kayden turned his gaze to the side for a moment and shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong. I just needed some fresh air.”

Zevran raised an eyebrow, but didn’t question him further. “Perhaps we should make our way back to the camp, _si?_ There’s no reason to linger here too long. There may be more of those,” he said, his boot hitting the wolf once more.

“Alright,” Kayden said, allowing himself to be led back to the group once more. He slept soundly that night.


	10. Distraction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cearul is an Irish name, meaning fierce warrior. I thought about this a lot when trying to give him a name to be called that wasn’t Mouse the entire time. Mouse is hardly fitting for a pride demon after all. Some names of weapons from the Welsh versions of Arthurian legend were considered, but in the end it seemed to be way too much for the character. I wanted a name that showed pride and strength and at the same time reflected the nature of an Arcane Warrior, as I have tied him to that. **-SPOILER-** Cearul also sounded like it could be a name used for a Dalish character, and since he was named by a Dalish warrior, it made a lot of sense.
> 
> As per tradition, the first part is a flashback. I somehow got into a habit of it for this fic, but I like writing them. Flashbacks will be important for Kayden’s character development and to give the reader some insight on his past. Thanks again to MMC for beta’ing this chapter and DoorbellSpider for helping me bounce ideas.
> 
> Just curious, who still reads this? Who’s still interested in more? I’ve been kind of slow coming out with new chapters, so I’m uncertain at the interest level in this fic, if there is any.

“I’m worried. Jowan’s been acting really strange recently,” Alim said, placing a book back onto the shelf.

“You mean stranger than usual?” Kayden asked, flipping through a book as he leaned against a nearby wall.

“Well yeah. He’s been sometimes missing from his bunk at night, running off during lunch, sometimes dinner… He’s even been going to the chapel to listen to sermons.”

Kayden raised an eyebrow, “Seriously?” He paused for a moment and then began laughing, “I thought you meant something serious. There’s been rumors going around of someone practicing blood magic.”

“Do you think…?”

“Pfft? Jowan? No way. I mean that’s a death sentence and well… He’s not that dumb. Here’s what I think; he’s running off with a girl.”

“A girl?”

“Yeah. He did slip and mention someone about a week ago. Maybe they’re having some sort of an affair.”

“Really? Well that’s not forbidden or anything, so why hide it?”

Kayden shrugged, “Privacy, maybe?” He grinned then, “Or maybe something more sacrilegious…”

“You aren’t suggesting he’s seeing a sister, are you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Anyway, I have to get to class, I’ll see you at dinner later,” Kayden gave the elf a slight wave, and turned to leave.

“Kade…”

“Yeah?”

“I miss you…”

Kayden sighed, his back still turned to Alim. “I know.”

 

* * *

Kayden watched as Alistair looked over his equipment. With the deep frown on the almost-Templar’s face, he could tell that something was most definitely wrong. But what? The man shook his head, finally looking back at Kayden. He lifted the sword, the one Kayden had received in Lothering. “What were you doing with this? Trying to chop down a tree?”

At that point, Kayden had been starting to think that the incident in the grotto was just his imagination. After all, Zevran hadn’t noticed a thing out of the ordinary, other than the single werewolf that had been stalking the mage during his spelunking adventure. But now, seeing the sword in its current, sorry state, he knew that the events from the previous night must have actually happened.

“No…” Kayden said, turning to look away. How would he be able to tell Alistair what happened without the man thinking he was crazy? He didn’t even have the corpse of the stag to show for the kill. Something that would have been quite welcome to the rest of the party considering the dried meats they had been carrying with them since their departure from Redcliffe. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t a good idea to try chopping the heads of deer off with a sword. Swords, especially swords like this, were not meant for that sort of application.

“I went for a walk last night and was attacked.”

Alistair’s face looked a bit concerned for a moment, but his eyes glanced back toward the sword, “By what? A boulder?”

Kayden didn’t answer, and the air between them was silent for a few moments, while he considered exactly what he wanted to say. Fortunately for him, Zevran had been in earshot and walked over. “A werewolf,” the Antivan said, matter-of-factly. He stood next to the mage, shifting his weight to one leg, arms akimbo. “You should have seen the marvelous display,” The assassin continued, his words becoming more showy now, “the damage done to the sword happened with a downward arc meeting and sinking into the beast’s shoulder. It was rather impressive, really, it seemed that our dear Warden almost took its arm off.”

Kayden looked at the man, an eyebrow raised. Why was he lying for him right now?

“A werewolf?” Alistair asked, looking between the pair.

Kayden looked back at Alistair with a nod. “It is as he says. I was attacked by a werewolf last night.”

Alistair sighed, setting the blade aside. “Well we can’t very well practice with this. You’ll need a new sword when we reach the city if you want to continue. And it’s coming out of your pocket.” He shook his head, looking at the sword once more.

“Of course,” Kayden said. He’d have to completely rely on magic if they encountered any Darkspawn on the last stretch of their trip now.

Which they did. Ambushed by a few stray groups that day alone. Kayden was worn out by the time he finally crawled into his tent that night, collapsing atop his bedroll and clinging tightly to his pillow. He’d kill for a comfortable bed right about now. Even the Tower’s beds were better than this. That, and it didn’t have the sheer amount of spirit activity he found beyond those walls.

In fact, the spirit activity beyond the walls of the Tower was far greater than he would have ever imagined. He wasn’t sure if it was because of just how long the land had gone without someone dedicated in sending those spirits back beyond the Veil and into what lay beyond, or because the Blight had claimed so many victims in such a short amount of time that spirits activity was simply at an all-time high. Morrigan seemed able to sense them, however, she had not been trained to deal with such things. Really, Kayden hadn’t either, but the demon—that he realized was Mouse—had begun explaining the basics to him.

“I thought you said you _were_  me?” Kayden asked as he polished his armor.

“ _I am. Sort of. I’m technically your spirit guardian and an extension of you. A familiar, if you will. Not that mages often take familiars in the present age, </i> Mouse explained. With each day since the event in the cave with the white stag, Mouse’s speech became clearer and clearer out of the Fade. “<i>Your father’s side of the family all have one as well, including him, though he’s not a mage_.”

“His family? Where are they?”

“ _In Orlais. Well technically that is where the village is. Their culture is vastly different to the point they could hardly be called Orlesians by any stretch of the imagination. They might as well be in a completely different country_.”

“Right…” Kayden set aside his armor and move to lay back against his bedroll. He stared up at the ceiling of his tent.

“ _He’s there you know_.”

“Who’s there?”

“ _Your father. He’s in Denerim right now._ ”

“How can you tell?”

“ _I can sense Aegis. His spirit guardian_.”

“Aegis? Is that his real name?” Kayden asked, pointedly.

“ _Are you still upset that I gave you a fake name?_ ”

Kayden snorted, “Not particularly. But it would be nice to know your real name. Mouse seems so… degrading for a pride demon.”

He could hear the demon laughing in his head. “ _Shall I tell you a story?_ ”

“I’d prefer you didn’t.”

More laughter. “ _I’ll tell you anyway._ ”

Kayden rolled his eyes, then propped his head up on his arms. “Go on then…”

“ _A long time ago, long before your ancestors settled down in their village—and long before I pledged my loyalty to them and their descendants—when the Imperium spread across Thedas, I was the familiar to a young, elvhen mage. He lived far south in what is now the border of the Brecilian Forest and the Korcari Wilds, here in your Ferelden. Though they travelled quite a bit between both territories, as is the way of the Dalish_.

“ _Back then, familiars were a common thing among mages. They were summoned and bound to the soul of the mage. The practice was brought about by the Dalish, and adapted by Magisters shortly after, though the art was lost. This particular mage did just that. I was summoned, and forcefully bound to his soul. A strange thing to happen to a pride demon, wouldn’t you agree? It wasn’t all bad, however. Demons wish to see the real world, though many wish to pervert the vessels in which they occupy. I’ve never been allowed to occupy anything, but simply allowed to watch, to guide_.

“ _That was enough for me. Time is something I have much of, and seeing the world and all its curiosities through the eyes of a mage? It is a wonderful thing. This mage was unlike other mages I had known. His connection to the Fade was strong, and like you, he was able to sense spirits and allow them safe passage across the Veil and back into the Fade without bringing harm to the integrity of the Veil. He also had peculiar abilities, ones you are beginning to develop yourself; he was able to use his magic to completely augment his physical strength, allowing him to accomplish great feats of magic, strength and martial mobility and prowess_.

“ _Together with the Dalish clans in the south and a few Chasind and Avvar tribes, they were able to help drive the Imperium away. Though none of this happened without a price. He was eventually captured by a Magister, and confined to a phylactery, forced to watch as his body was destroyed. His tiny prison was left behind after his clan was slaughtered. Discarded like trash._ ”

The demon let out what sounded like a bitter laugh. “ _He’d been unable to pass on his art to the other Dalish clans of the south, to his children. And one specific ability died with him, the ability to fold himself into the shadows of the Fade, to exist partly in both places, and neither at the same time. This ability is one that I taught him, and perhaps one that I will teach you as well._

“ _I’ve been known by many names in the past, but the name he gave me was Cearul. I can still feel him… Even now. He is trapped somewhere in the Brecilian Forest. Calling out to me. Begging for help, wishing to go to the beyond and finally rest. Perhaps the day will come when we will grant him his wish?_ ”

There was a long moment of silence as Kayden considered the story. He was baffled by the absurdity of it all. “Why would someone wish to exist partially in the Fade and in the mortal realm at once… and neither at the same time?”

“ _You don’t need to believe anything I say, after all, I am a demon. However, such an ability could be quite useful as a defensive combat technique if one has the patience to learn it_.”

“I’ll think about it,” Kayden said, rolling around to get under the blanket atop his bedroll and onto his stomach, letting his cheek rest against his pillow as he continued to think about the story. “If you were bound to his soul, then why weren’t you bound with him in the phylactery?”

“ _The ritual used to bind him to his prison ripped me from him and cast me back into the Fade. An unintentional side effect, the Magister had wished to possess me himself, however he lacked the ability or knowledge to force another summon_.”

“And how did my… ancestors get you to pledge your loyalty to them?”

The demon, Mouse— _Cearul_ , he corrected himself—laughed again. “ _So full of questions, and not even the right ones. The answers you seek will come eventually. For now, you should rest. Tomorrow we reach Denerim._ ”

**o O o**

 

The Denerim market was already crowded by the time the group finally reached it the next day. The first thing Kayden noticed was the sounds; from the commotion of voices to the sounds of chickens wandering the streets, laborers hammering and sharpening knives, and music coming from the various taverns scattered about. The sheer amount of noise was enough to drive a man to insanity; if they were anything like Kayden at least.

Kayden cringed, wishing for the ambience of the wilderness and even the Tower once more. Even the smells were better. On top of that, there was far too much sun. Kayden hated the sun, deciding it best to stick to the shadows to save his poor skin from burning or the light from hurting his sensitive lyrium eyes.

Luckily for him, a tavern was their first stop. Everyone was hungry from the walking that morning, and it was just about time for the midday meal anyway. He silently thanked whatever gods there might be that they were here and not out there. Until he tried the food.

It was better than Alistair’s cooking at the very least. Palatable at best. He groaned inwardly, eating all on his plate anyway, and then some. He didn’t want to make a scene. Halfway through the meal, however, he decided wherever they planned on staying while they were here, he’d be cooking for himself the entire time. He’d have to buy ingredients in the market, but he didn’t much care.

“You’re better off letting me cook,” Leliana whispered to him, leaning over and reaching to take another piece of hard bread out of the bowl to his side.

“Hmph,” Kayden snickered. “Probably. Your food isn’t grey at least.”

“You never complained about my cooking before,” the woman pointed out.

“And I won’t now. I’d readily welcome it in fact.”

She laughed. “Oh? Will we be sharing a room too then?”

Kayden almost spit out his stew and looked back at her. “Huh?”

Leliana laughed again, patting his hand. “I’m only kidding. I’ll share with Morrigan like we did at Redcliffe. You should probably share with Jowan, I think.”

Kayden stopped eating, glancing across the table to where his friend was quietly chatting with Morrigan. Something told him that she didn’t feel like she was actually babysitting. When his eyes settled on Jowan, however, an uneasy feeling deep within his stomach rose. If they shared a room, he’d no longer be able to put off talking to the other mage. He’d have to finally speak with the other man. Tonight.

“You’re a terrible, horrible person,” Kayden said, letting his head drop into his hands on the table. Felt just like old times, really. Sitting at a table in the main hall back at the Tower, sharing a meal with the few friends he had. Granted, he only really had three good friends. One was dead, one was still back at the Tower on clean-up crew, and the other was sitting here at the table with him.

It was his fault he was here and not on clean-up crew as well. Even after all that… Didn’t Dillon — _or was it Uldred?_ — mention that Jowan had actually been part of the group of blood mages that had tried to take over the Tower? He had been abandoned from the group, a plan set up to rid of him. What had Jowan learned that the group had been ready to kill him for? Or was he simply that bad a mage that they just didn’t want him around anymore?

_Fuck_ … He thought. There was a lot more to talk about than he’d originally thought. He was pulled from his thoughts, however, when someone tapped on his shoulder.

“Are you listening to me, Kade?” Leliana asked.

He groaned, turning to look at her again. “Yeah, yeah,” he lied, waving her off with his off-hand.

“Alright, so the room arrangements are settled then,” The woman said, clapping her hands together as she turned to the rest of the group to give them the final decision.

Morrigan and Leliana, Alistair and Zevran, Kayden and Jowan, and Sten would have his own room. He rolled his eyes, not like he hadn’t seen that coming. He was a little disappointed that he wouldn’t be rooming with Zevran though. He looked to the other side of the table to where the blond-haired Antivan was talking to Alistair. What they were talking about, he wasn’t sure, but his eyes lingered far longer than was likely considered polite. He turned away again, dropping his head in his arms again.

“Are you alright?” Leliana asked. “If you really don’t want a room with Jowan—”

“It’s fine,” Kayden cut in, “I’m alright. Just… Tired. Still not used to all the training and running around.”

The woman nodded. “I understand. We could probably all use a break to relax a bit after all the traveling.”

“Blight’s not going to stop itself,” Kayden mumbled against an arm.

“Hm? I didn’t quite catch what you said?” Leliana asked, leaning a bit closer.

“Nothing…” Kayden sighed, turning his head to the other side so he could get a better view of Zevran without anyone noticing his wandering eyes.

That man was hired to kill you. He could hear Alistair saying it now. He could hear Morrigan saying it too. He could even hear Wynne telling him it was just physical attraction, telling Kayden he was only really interested because Zevran was handsome or something along those lines. Completely superficial.

No matter how charming Zevran seemed to Kayden, the man was an assassin. He knew what the others thought of him; that he was a snake, ready to betray them if given a chance. He was a dangerous man.  And yet… Kayden couldn’t help but be attracted. Why was he taking such a risk? A risk to his life, the lives of his friends, and potentially all of Ferelden, even the world?

The others were counting on him. He was the Warden Commander of Ferelden now, not just some outcast from the Tower, ignorant of the world beyond those walls. It scared him how big it all was; how the horizon just seemed to go on and on without end... Even the Fade itself—something he thought he was familiar with—was something he’d come to realize was quite different from what he'd been taught. He could no longer be the meek and quiet Tower mage he once was—but who was Kayden, Commander of the Grey, compared to Kayden, Mage of the Circle?

Agitated, he rose from his seat so abruptly that it startled Leliana. She almost fell out of her chair in response as he made his way out of the tavern area and up to their rooms. He needed to be alone right now. He just really needed to get away.

Kayden tried his best not to slam the door behind him as he entered the small room he would be sharing with Jowan. Two tiny beds pressed up against a wall. Nothing like the bunks they had been in in the large apprentice quarters back at the Tower. The room there had been so large and open, and yet there was no privacy because of how many of them shared living space. Something that he hadn’t realized he would miss until now.

He barely even had a chance to put his thoughts together as he settled in the room before the door opened again, and without a second thought, Kayden’s fist met the other’s face. Jowan’s face.

Jowan almost fell over at the contact, his eyes wide in surprise as he hit the door behind him. He brought his hands up to cover the trickle of blood coming from his nose. “Kade! What in the Void is going on?”

He had Jowan’s collar in his hands next, stretching the fabric of his shirt as he glared down at the shorter man. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“About what? Kade! What’s going on?” The man repeated himself.

“The blood mages at the Tower. You were mentioned specifically. You were part of their group, and _they_ took over the Tower. Do you realize Niall is dead now because of all of this?”

“N...Niall?” Jowan asked, his face twisted in grief and utter defeat. “It’s… it’s not my fault… N...Niall…”

Kayden’s face softened a bit as he dropped Jowan’s collar. He went through his pack, and pulled out a handkerchief that he passed on to Jowan then for his nose. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get all worked up like that. It’s just… With everything going on right now…”

The look on Jowan’s face didn’t change, and Kayden had no idea how to apologize anymore than he already had. Instead, he pulled the other man into a hug, sobbing rather audibly against his shoulder. It didn’t take him long to feel the other trembling in the hug, trying their best to comfort one another. Neither knew what to say. Though neither really needed to say a thing.

**o O o**

They stayed up late into the night just talking. Jowan recounting his time as part of the group of blood mages. From the sound of it, he simply wasn’t good enough to be among their ranks. Which was rather pathetic really. Kayden had taken so many of them out back at the tower… His train of thought stopped there as he shook his head.

Jowan had gotten away, and even though he seemed to want to atone for his actions, Kayden wasn’t going to let that happen. There was no way he was going to hand his friend back over to the Tower, to the Templar, just to be made tranquil or even killed. No. He’d be conscripted instead. And while that seemed to be an inevitable death sentence anyway, he at least would have more time, wouldn’t be hunted as a maleficarum, and wouldn’t be losing what made him Jowan.

That was good enough, right?

Death was inevitable anyway. Death happened all the time. He chuckled a bit, remembering Zevran had mentioned death happening more with him around. And then scolded himself for letting his thoughts continue to linger on the man.

_Not important right now_ , Kayden thought, brushing it aside for now. Today they were looking for Brother Genitivi. They, meaning Alistair and Kayden while the others did their own thing. From what they had been told back in Redcliffe, he lived somewhere in the market district, though he wasn’t given an exact address.

Figures. Everything just had to be done the hard way.

He sighed, pointing down a side street. “That’s where the merchant back at the last stall said the Wonders of Thedas was.”

“Right, and Genitivi’s house should be nearby,” Alistair said with a nod, leading his way down the street. “I wonder if they have miniature golem dolls there.”

Kayden raised an eyebrow at him in curiosity.

“What? I had one as a kid!”

Kayden snickered, shaking his head a bit. “We could go look if you want. I’ve been wanting to check it out ever since I heard it was there.”

“Hmm…” Alistair hummed, thinking about it. “I suppose we could spare a few moments to browse a shop. But after we’re all done here, we should really go to Wade’s Emporium and see about getting you a new sword. It might take a few days for it to be ready, though.”

Kayden nodded.

“And this time, no chopping down trees.”

“I was not chopping down trees!”

Alistair laughed, clapping a hand on Kayden’s back. “I’m only kidding. But really, you’ll need to take better care of this one.”

Kayden took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to stay calm. “I will.” It was then that something caught his eyes, just up ahead. There was the sign for the shop they were going to, The Wonders of Thedas. But that wasn’t what had him frozen in his tracks; entering the shop, he saw the back of a man. Long, silvery white hair falling to his mid-back and swaying slightly in the breeze. The man was gone only seconds later. He’d entered the shop.

 


	11. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kayden Amell is off for training as a Jedi as an apprentice under the tutelage of Jedi Knight Kael Oscen! Revka is sad to see her son go, but this means he will no longer be a slave! He promises to come back one day to free her and take her to the safety of the planet Coruscant. The entire planet is one big city!
> 
> Wait… I think I got that wrong somewhere, let me start over.
> 
> Trivia: Kael is named after Cael from Irish myth. Cael is said to have won the heart of Credhe through the use of poetry. He is later drowned during battle.
> 
> Sorry for the huge wait on this chapter. This one is much longer than my others to sorta make up for that. Happy holidays to everyone! Please enjoy the long chapter!

_“It’s not safe for either of you here,” his mother said. Her voice sounded sad and he thought he could hear her weeping. He was already terrified, but knowing, hearing, his mother scared made things somehow worse. He didn’t understand why she was telling that to a grown up. Grown ups could take care of themselves._

_“We have to get him out of Kirkwall tonight,” the Templar confirmed._

_The candlelight cast shadows upon the blue and green woolen blankets of his bed, the doorway only slightly ajar as he listened to the hushed conversation between his mother and the Templar. There was nothing that could be done for his tangled mess of white hair as he shrugged on a travel cloak, his lyrium gaze shifting back toward his window as he heard shouting in the streets._

_He couldn’t tell what was going on, but he was sure if he listened he’d be able to find out._

_Soon, he heard footsteps in the hall, his heart pounding. He knew then it was time to leave as his mother entered the room once more, pulling him close. There was no denying that she’d been crying, she wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore._

_“You’ll be safe in Ferelden,” She told him._

_“Why aren’t you coming with us?” He asked. If it was so dangerous here, why did they have to leave her here alone?_

_She stared at him for a moment, and then her eyes dropped. He wasn’t sure if that meant she didn’t know, or if it was because it was one of those things grown-ups just didn’t tell kids. He hated that. He could handle anything she had to say. Her face softened a bit, but the worry in her brows remained there as she turned away, not answering._

_“Will I ever see you again?”_

_“What does your heart tell you?”_

_A tear rolled down his cheek, giving her a slight nod, “Yes… I guess.”_

_“Then we’ll see each other again.”_

_“I will come back for you,” he said._

_There was almost a smile on her face. A small glimmer of hope. That was encouragement enough. He’d find a way to one day come back and bring her to safety too._

_She kissed him and combed her fingers through his hair, seemingly determined to straighten it out. If he’d wanted that, he would have done it himself, but he didn’t complain as she led him back out into the hall, his travel pack in hand. They made their way down the staircase to the entrance hall of their small home in Hightown. Small only by Hightown standards._

_The Templar stood by the door, waiting. A growing sense of dread clawed at the pit of his stomach, ready to tear him open. If he wasn’t going to the Gallows, why was a Templar taking him away?_

_There was no one in the streets when the stepped out into the night air, and yet he could still hear the yelling, shouting and clash of steel. The Templar had taken him by the hand and lead him through the shadows, keeping his distance from the street lamps._

_Stranger still, the narrow steps leading to Lowtown were empty._

_Panic seized him then, and for a moment he feared where the man might be taking him. The boy grabbed the Templar’s arm then, clinging tightly to him. “Please!” He pleaded, “Don’t take me to the Gallows!”_

_The man stopped and looked down at him through the slotted openings of the helmet he wore. “I’m not taking you to the Gallows.”_

_“Then where are we going…”_

_“The docks. We need to make our way to the docks. Now,” he knelt down before Kayden then. “You must promise me you will be brave. For you mother. We will make our way there as quietly as possible so we don’t draw attention from the bad people.”_

_“Bad people?”_

_“Yes, many men wish to hurt us tonight, and we don’t want them to find us.”_

_It was then that a name came to his head, one he’d overheard while the Templar and his mother had been talking. He made the connection, but still didn’t understand. What was a riot anyway?_

_“Who is Viss… viss… Vissycant Perry?”_

_“Viscount,” the man had corrected him. “Don’t worry about such things. You will never need to worry about him.” It was a promise, but what it meant, the boy was unsure. It was hard not to worry when his mother had been crying on their way out. He wished she could be with them right now. If things weren’t safe…_

_It was then that he noticed a shimmer of white, fine hair, slightly falling out of the helmet. Hair like his own. The boy finally nodded, suddenly feeling like he would be able to trust this man. After all, his mother did, right?_

_They crept down the steps and through the streets of Lowtown. More than once, he found himself raising his arm to cover his face with his overlarge sleeves to mask himself from the foul smells that rose to reach his nose; as if Uncle Damion had left out a damp pair of socks in the sun for a few days… or months even. He made a wrinkled his nose at the thought. No wonder people always complained about the smell!_

_“You see that building over there?” The man finally asked, pointing to a small, wooden shack at the end of the road. “We’re going there. I have to change out of my armor.”_

_“Why?"_

_“I’ll be less noticeable.”_

_The boy nodded. That seemed like a good idea, he thought as they slowly made their way toward the shack._

_“I would have expected this from the rookie Lars, but from you?” Came a voice from behind them. The two of them turned to see another man dressed in the same Templar uniform. He didn’t seem to be threatening them, but the boy could see a shift in the newcomer’s stance that could easily enough lend itself to defending or fighting if need be._

_“You brought a kid out here? A mage too? What’s going on?”_

_The Templar grabbed the other man by the arm and dragged them toward the shack. He told the boy to sit down and wait. He could hear the two arguing and yet the first man never let his voice rise above a hushed whisper._

_“You’re crazy!” he could hear the other man say. “What about your orders? They plan on attacking the Gallows, they plan on expelling the entire Templar Order from Kirkwall. Are you really that much of a coward that you plan to desert the Order now?”_

_“I’m not deserting the Order, I’m taking him to Kinloch.” The man sounded calm, he couldn’t help but wonder how someone could stay so calm when someone was being so mean to him! More than anything, he wanted to get up and move toward them, and defend the nice man from the mean Templar, but he’d been told to sit and wait. And his mother… she’d said to be good. She’d said to listen, and so he would._

_The room beyond was silent for a moment, and finally the first Templar spoke again. “It’s because of what’s happening that I have to get him out of here. If he were at the Gallows when that man… I… I would never be able to forgive myself.”_

_“Why? The boy’s a mage, that’s where mages here go. Anyway, there’s no way we’ll let the Order fall. It...”_

_The second man was cut short as the first Templar looked at him again, “He’s my son.”_

_“The… fuck? You really are crazy! What about your vows?”_

_“The boy is eight, I hadn’t taken my vows yet.”_

_The mean Templar turned to look the boy’s way, and he tried his best to look convincingly like he wasn’t paying any attention to the two of them. Like he hadn’t heard the last few things they said._

I’m… his son?

**o ~ O ~ o**

“Kade?” Came a voice, finally snapping him out of the dream.

He looked down, seeing a pale hand stretched out before him. His hand, as he continued to watch the closed door of the shop. It was as if time would stand still for him now and there was nothing beyond this alley. There never was.

Kayden’s hand dropped to the side, and he turned to see the rather concerned looking face of Alistair. 

“Are you alright?” The man asked. “For a moment you seemed… far away.”

Kayden didn’t answer at first, instead, he turned to look back at the entrance of the Wonders of Thedas, half expecting the door to open again. When it didn’t, he finally nodded and looked back to Alistair. “Did you… perhaps see the man that walked into the shop just now?”

“I didn’t get a good look at him,” Alistair replied, confusion in his voice. “Was there something important about him?”

“I know, it sounds silly, doesn’t it? I’ve been living in a Tower for well over ten years, I really shouldn’t know much of anyone out here. And yet… he looked so familiar.”

“I don’t really think that’s very silly. Even if it’s all a misunderstanding, why don’t you go talk to him and clear things up? I’m sure it will make you feel better.”

“Or make me look like a fool. ‘Hey! I think I know you!’ Watch the man turn around just for me to realize this is definitely not the person I thought he was and then I’d have to apologize to him for wasting his time. Yeah, I really want to do that right now.” Kayden let out a deep sigh.

“You’re right. It’s a bad idea. Forget I mentioned it,” Alistair said dryly, but continued moving on towards the shop again.

Kayden watched him for a moment before finally following. He stopped as Alistair entered the building, determined to wait, to lag behind as he tried to memorize the individual grains of wood on the door. After a moment, he finally gathered his courage, took a deep breath and pushed the door open. It was now or never, right?

The dimly lit shop was much bigger and even more impressive than he ever thought it would be. There were rows and rows of shelves covered in books and various displays of enchanted arms and armor and various charms, potions and other items. Kayden could see that Alistair was already looking at stuffed toys near a desk with a tranquil talking to the man he’d noticed entering the shop only a few moments ago.

He hadn’t been seeing things. He wasn’t wearing armor, nor the rich maroon robes Kayden had remembered. Instead he was wearing blue. He wondered if blue meant something different, or if he really did have the wrong guy. But something about him, the way he moved, the way he stood, and even the clothes just seemed so familiar.

Regardless, the mage found himself straightening out his tunic, as if it would really make a difference now. If the man wasn’t who he thought he was, he’d probably think Kayden was crazy, and it didn’t really matter if his tunic was straight or disheveled. Though he figured had it been disheveled it might make him look _more_ crazy. There was always that possibility of course. 

“Thanks for running off on me, Alistair…” he mumbled under his breath. It hadn’t really occurred to him that he hadn’t actually asked for Alistair’s support, or that he could still ask. Instead, all he could think of was the silver-haired man that still had his back to Kayden.

_My… father. Maybe._  

Finally, he summoned the courage to step forward, but he didn’t make it to the desk. He stopped about half-way to turn to one of the nearby bookshelves to examine a random book as the man had turned around. _Maybe he won’t notice me_ … Kayden thought. He didn’t want to be wrong, and even if he was right, what kind of person was his father? Would he be everything Kayden thought he would be? Would he be everything his father thought he would be? 

“Hi, how are you?” He heard Alistair say ahead of him. He let the book he was holding drop for a moment to look around the shelf that stood between him and the men standing at the counter. The almost-templar was now engaging the silver-haired man in conversation. Delightful. “My name is Alistair, I’m a Grey Warden. I was training to be a Templar here in Denerim not too long ago. I was just wondering if you were new to the area?”

The man let out a laugh, it wasn’t a malicious one by the sound of it. “To the area? Not really, though I do I tend to travel a lot, I don’t really like being stationed in one place for too long. I am Knight-Captain Kael Oscen, by the way. It’s nice to meet a Grey Warden. Were you at Ostagar then?”

_Why did you tell him you’re a Grey Warden?_ Kayden wanted to ask, mentally screaming at Alistair in his head from the other side of the room. Didn’t he realize that Loghain had called them traitors? That they were wanted men now? That they had been blamed for the death of the king?

“Yes, I wasn’t on the main field with the other Wardens, however,” Alistair said, the tone of his voice turning a bit grave for a moment, though it seemed like he was trying his best to keep the conversation light. 

“I’m truly sorry for your loss,” Kael said. “This Blight… I stood there at Ostagar. I saw what happened. This Blight is far worse than people realize.”

He watched as Alistair gave a slow nod, his eyebrow raised a bit. That had been what Flemeth had said, though she hadn’t gone into detail. Having seen it first-hand, he knew it was true.

“I am here with a fellow of mine that was with me at Ostagar,” Alistair finally said, turning to look at Kayden, beckoning him over. Kael’s gaze turned to follow Alistair’s then, lyrium eyes falling upon his own. 

_It’s him_ … Kayden thought, recognizing the face instantly. It was, admittedly a lot like his and an emotion he couldn’t quite recognize crossed the man’s face. Did he also recognize Kayden then? He was just a child when he’d been left at the Tower.

“Kayden... ?“ The man was already crossing the store and before Kayden could say anything the other was hugging him tightly.

He was confused as he stared back at Alistair for a moment. Alistair shrugged and turned back to the Tranquil behind the counter to inquire about the stuffed toys.

“Father?" 

The man nodded, “Yes?” 

“You haven’t… aged a day since last I saw you.”

Kael laughed, and Kayden finally returned the hug, letting himself be lost in the moment. For now. He was allowed this much, was he not?

_I knew it all along_ … 

They stayed like that for a bit longer, until Kael finally pulled away. “We have a lot of catching up to do. You received the gift for your Harrowing?”

Kayden nodded, “Thank you.” 

“A Grey Warden now?” The man smiled. “I have something else for you, it should be ready in a day or so.”  
  
“Huh?”

“You’ll see, get your friend. I hear Wardens have rather extensive appetites, so perhaps we can talk over lunch. My treat.” 

“Right… Now?” 

“Unless you have other plans, why not?”

“Um… We have plans, however we plan on being here for a few days, it can wait until after lunch at least.”

Kael nodded as Kayden gestured for Alistair to join them once more. “Are you hungry?”

“What kind of question is that?” Alistair asked with a roll of the eyes. Kayden shook his his head, trying his best not to grin.

With that, the small group made their way back out the shop and toward the Gnawed Noble Tavern. Kayden figured he’d get a chance to return to the Wonders of Thedas later for some more exploration.

As soon as they stepped outside, the party was greeted by a huff and a wet nose thoroughly exploring the new stranger. Vulfson’s tail wagged a moment later when he deemed Kael ‘safe’ and quirked his head to the side, expecting to have his ears scratched.

“And who might you be?” The man asked, a hint of amusement in his voice as he fulfilled he dog’s unspoken request.

The mabari gave a deep woof in response, and Kayden smiled, also giving him a pat on the head. "This is my mabari, Vulfson. He was sick while we were at Ostagar, but after I brought him medicine, he seemed to have taken a liking to me."

Kael shot him a grin, his pride easily displayed in his own lyrium-colored eyes. "He's a fine hound."

Vulfson woofed again in approval.

They were still in the alley when Kayden noticed a shifting in the shadows. If the other’s noticed anything, they didn’t mention it.

“Who might this be? You never mentioned a handsome brother,” came a familiar voice beside him. 

Kayden shook his head, he should have guessed Zevran had been watching. He could tell the other man was smirking, though he remained silent, leaving Kayden to explain himself. “This, Zevran, is my father.”

Zevran looked around Kayden to get a better look at the other man. “Father? I find that hard to believe, my dear Warden. He looks no more than a few years older than yourself.”

Kayden ignored the question, and instead, stepped back away from the group, pulling Zevran with him him. “Hurry on ahead, I need to talk to Zevran for a minute.” Kayden said, watching the others walk away.

When they were out of sight, he pushed Zevran against a nearby wall. “Why are you stalking me from the shadows? Still waiting for just the right time to strike? Finish off your contract? I don’t have time for games, Zevran. One of my best friends was just killed, my father appeared of nowhere, and Alistair has a leech of a sister that will rob him blind if given the opportunity. I’m in no mood for this.”

He couldn’t tell what the look on Zevran’s face meant then. It seemed more than one. Confusion? Surprise? Anger?

“I do not know where you are getting at, _Kayden_ ,” Zevran said, deliberately avoiding the mage’s title, “As if you didn’t know, you are considered a criminal at the moment and there are many that wish to see you met with an unfortunate accident as it were. I was watching from the shadows, looking for threats that may have led to such an accident. If I had still wished you dead, the deed would have already been done, this I can assure you.” 

Kayden opened his mouth, as if ready to speak again, but the words didn't come. He wanted to be angry, but couldn't find a reason to still be. After all, Zevran had shown that he could be trusted... a little. And right now the assassin seemed... insulted? That was what it seemed like, and Kayden just didn't know how to respond to that. 

Taking a deep breath, Kayden turned his head, looking back down to the end of the alley where Alistair and his father had disappeared. "How does one kill ice?" He finally asked, not turning back to look at Zevran.

"A flame, I would think," Zevran responded.

Kayden let out a soft laugh then. "It is a good thing that you are not a mage then."

"Oh? I'm sure I could melt ice without magic, though I think in this case melting that ice might be a good thing, no?"

Kayden finally looked back toward Zevran then, an eyebrow raised. 

"You are tense, my friend. I think I know what you need."

"Besides sleep? And a hot meal. A few hot meals actually. Enough to feed more than a few men. Alistair and my father will be waiting for us at the tavern after all. Like... Right now, as in this very minute." 

"Mmm, I'm thinking more drastic measures are called for, in fact," Zevran started, placing a hand under his chin as he looked over Kayden a bit. “My thought is this; tonight when we retire, the two of us go to your room and I show you the sort of massage skills that one only learns growing up in an Antivan whorehouse."

Zevran ran a hand over the other man's chest then, emphasizing his point. For a moment, Kayden wished he had been wearing his armor. He'd been wearing it a lot the past few weeks, and while it would still take more time to get fully used to moving in something so heavy, it did feel a bit strange to be able to feel Zevran's hand through the thin cloth of the tunic he was now wearing. He reached a hand up, taking Zevran by the wrist. "Are you... suggesting what I think you are?"

Zevran smirked a bit, looking up into Kayden's lyrium eyes. "If you mean to ask whether or not there might be more than a massage involved, allow me simply to say that you won't be disappointed with any of the techniques I've picked up over the years."

Kayden closed his eyes then, giving the wrist he held a soft squeeze. "Tonight's not good really. My father and I have a lot of catching up to do, and I'm sure we'll be talking a lot tonight." It was a convenient excuse, too convenient he knew. But... He'd heard Zevran offer similar... services to the others. To Leliana, to Morrigan, and on occasion to Alistair and even Jowan. With everything going on that wasn't the type of companionship he wanted. Yet he did want it. Craved it in fact, and that thought made him all the more confused. What did he need? What did he really want?

"Not tonight," the mage repeated, his voice soft. Kayden ran his thumb over Zevran's hand then, and before he could think otherwise, brought it to his lips. He might have been reading too much into it, but when he looked back at Zevran then, he noticed the other staring. Not the way he usually did, with that grin on his face when he was flirting, but instead his face seemed unreadable. What was the other man thinking right now? Had Kayden crossed some line then?

Awkwardly, he let Zevran's hand drop then. "Uh... anyway, we should meet up with the others now. They're probably wondering what's taking us so long." Kayden didn't wait for a response, instead turning to walk toward the end of the alley and on to the tavern. 

He didn't turn back to look at Zevran as they walked in silence, and when they reached the tavern, he held the door open, not meeting the elf's eyes. Ignoring the rising voices in his head telling him that he'd missed his chance, he looked across the main room for his father and Alistair. He tilted his head to the side a bit when he didn't see them, wondering how they could have made it first.

"Are you Kayden?" one of the waitresses asked.

"Uh, yeah. That's me."

"Ser Kael is waiting for you in a private room. Follow me," she said, stopping to stare at Zevran for a moment. "The elf with you?"

Kayden gave her a confused look for a moment, before remembering how elves were generally treated out of the Tower. He narrowed his eyes a bit as he turned back to the woman. "He came in with me, did he not?"

"My mistake," she apologized, bowing her head to Kayden a bit before ushering them toward a hall at the back of the building. "Follow me please, sers."

The room was fairly small, but the table was large enough to seat the four of them. Kael and Alistair were sitting next to each other, already engaged in conversation about Ostagar with Vulfson sitting off to the side, already digging into a thick piece of meat.

Kayden and Zevran sat down opposite the others and ordered drinks. It took another glare from Kayden for the woman to take Zevran’s order. Once she had finally left the room, closing the door behind her, Kayden joined into the conversation. It had died down a bit with the woman in there, which was good considering he didn’t need a random tavern worker in on their business. Fade knew gossip would get around quickly enough anyway, and he found himself wondering if it would get around just as quickly as it had at the Tower.

“So, the two of you are now using the treaties to build up an army?” Kael asked. 

Kayden nodded, “But Alistair says we will likely need the support of Arl Eamon at the Landsmeet.”

“Right, he’s popular with the nobles. We need to make sure that civil war doesn’t break out while we are trying to end the Blight,” Alistair added.

“I’ve heard the Arl has fallen ill as of late, have you been to see him yet?” Kael asked.

Alistair frowned. “Yes, we have. His wife sent some of Redcliffe’s knights away in search of Andraste’s Sacred Ashes. He had been poisoned and is comatose. They believe that only a pinch of her ashes will restore him to full health.”

“Andraste’s ashes?” Kael said, returning the frown. He turned to look at the table for a moment, and Kayden could only assume he was thinking over what he’d just heard. “I’ve heard that it has incredible healing powers, but whether or not it actually exists is up to debate. Do you have any leads on the location?”

“We were told that a Brother Genitivi had been researching the urn. He was supposed to be living here in Denerim, which is why we are here now,” Kayden provided. “We should be here for a few days as well, gathering supplies, and then we’ll set off again after we’ve had a chance to figure out where he has headed. It seems his research has led him in search of the ashes as well. Perhaps a servant or apprentice remains at this home that can give us directions, or provide us with at least another clue.”

“Genitivi…” Kael repeated. “I met him once, not too long ago. I can’t say I know him well, but I do know where his home is. Perhaps after lunch I can take you there. That is, if you don’t have any other plans for today.”

Kayden’s mood brightened a bit then and he sat up a bit more straight. “You could? That would be incredibly helpful!”

Kael chuckled, “Well don’t get too excited yet; as you mentioned, he’s not home at the moment. We’ll figure out what we can while we’re there, but in the meantime—”

Kael was cut off as the door opened again. The same woman entered the room with more cups and a pitcher, mentioning that the stew only needed a little longer. As she exited the room once more, another woman had followed her in with a small basket of bread and cheese.

The second woman eyed Alistair as she placed the basket down. “I hear Wardens have quite an appetite.” She gave him a grin and winked a bit, “Figured I’d bring in something to tide you over before the stew was ready.”

Kayden raised an eyebrow, looking back at the woman with a bit of a smirk as he noticed Alistair’s cheeks beginning to color. He didn’t even ask how the woman knew they were Wardens. Everyone seemed to realize without them bringing it up.

Kayden shook his head, reaching to take a piece of bread for himself. “I’m not sure where you heard that, but there are no Wardens here.”

Her gaze met Kayden’s then, and she was taken aback, albeit briefly. The mage rolled his eyes. “I’m alive, in case you’re wondering. Not a ghost in the least. 

“I, um… I’m going to check on the stew,” she said, quickly turning away and exiting the room and closing the door softly behind her. 

It was Kael’s turn to raise an eyebrow this time. 

“What?” Kayden asked, “It was popular back at the tower for the other apprentices to refer to me by their favored nickname, ‘Spook’. I thought I might save her the trouble by telling her I’m not before she got any wrong ideas.” 

The group laughed at the explanation, though Kael seemed a little concerned by it. He figured no one liked to hear about their kids being teased. It wasn’t a big deal anymore really; not only was Kayden an adult now, he was no longer at the Tower and didn’t have to deal with those apprentices any longer. Not all of them were even apprentices anymore, he reminded himself.

“Anyway,” Kael said, reaching into a pouch strapped to his belt, “As I was about to say before the bread came,” he paused, placing a large parchment onto the table. It appeared to be ripped a bit at the top, as if he’d pulled it down. A poster, perhaps.

Kayden read it over, his eyes narrowing a bit as he wondered what this could possibly mean before turning it to Alistair so he could get a better look at it. 

_“Don't believe the lies! Friends of the Grey Wardens assemble._

_The hidden pearl holds the key to resistance.The griffons will rise again!”_

Zevran frowned, “Someone is looking for Grey Warden supporters. This is a trap, I’m certain,” he said, “but I can tell you where the ‘hidden pearl’ is.”

“I figured it might be,” Kayden said, “Even so, I’ll have to deal with this. I’ll go tomorrow.”

“I’m coming with you,” Zevran said, his tone making it clear that that was not a request.

Before Kayden could protest, his father lifted a hand, silencing him. “Going with a group would only draw attention, that much is true,” he said leaving Kayden to wonder if the man could read minds before he continued, “But I think it’s too risky for you to go on your own, and this one…” 

Kael paused again looking over Zevran, “You are… a Crow, are you not?” 

“Ah, did I give myself away already?” Zevran said, a grin on his face. He pointed to Kayden, “He hadn’t even heard of the Crows before he met me.”

“I had. I read about Crows, I just never thought I’d actually meet one…” 

“Of course, my dear Warden.” Zevran grinned. 

The look in Kael’s eyes told Kayden that the man disapproved, however he didn’t mention it. “You are good at assessing threats then?” 

“Of course, you can trust my judgement, no harm will come to our Warden under my watchful eye. I made a pledge after all. I did not make it lightly.”

Alistair rolled his eyes this time. 

Kayden half expected his father to question Zevran further about his pledge, he half expected Alistair to bring up the fact that Zevran had once tried to kill him—them—before. It didn’t matter much that he and Alistair had talked about it already, fully, multiple times. By this point, Kayden was sick of having to have the same conversation over and over again. But to his surprise, and likely Alistair’s as well, the older man did not pursue the issue further. Kayden had a nagging feeling in his gut that the conversation was not over yet, that there would still be time later to continue it.

He almost let out a sigh of relief when Kael continued on, seemingly ignoring Zevran’s final comment. “Fine, go with him,” but Kayden was sure there was a veiled threat in the way the next came out, “but be careful.”

"I am always careful," Zevran assured the man.

Lunch couldn't have come at a better time, Kayden thought as the door to their room opened again with the serving girls bringing in their bowls of stew. He almost let out a sigh of relief as the tension in the room seemed to lessen.

Kayden ignored the second girl as she continued trying to get Alistair's attention. The other Warden didn't really seem to know what to do with the attention anyway, but it was amusing to see the blush appear on his cheeks again.

They talked for a bit longer as they ate their meal, keeping the topics light for now. They mainly discussed other plans for the next few days, what shops they would visit, and the like. They told Kael about their other companions, about their time at Ostagar and Lothering, about the Tower.. 

Kael was relieved to learn that the First Enchanter and the Knight Commander both survived the ordeal. The Tower might have been devastated, but enough survived for them to rebuild.

Kayden was certain they had spent at least an hour's time, maybe longer, as they made their way back outside again. He stretched a bit as the sun met his pale skin 

It was hot. Uncomfortably so, and he regretted a bit not having worn gloves or a hat on the way out this morning. He decided to stick to the shadows as Kael led them down the street and into another area of the the market district. The house itself wasn't really far from the tavern.

Kael opened the gate and led them through the small yard. Kayden looked over the neatly tended garden where it seemed the scholar was growing various alchemical ingredients on one side, and vegetables on the other. Genitivi must have had a gardener taking care of it while he was away.

His eyes moved back toward the front of the group when he heard the knock on the door. They waited for a few moments before a young servant woman opened the door. He listened as his father greeted the woman, explaining to her that they were looking for Genitivi.   

The woman shook her head before he could continue, "Brother Genitivi isn't home." 

"I know," Kael said, "We were hoping that he had an assistant around that we could speak to. Perhaps someone might know where we could look?"

The woman hesitated for a moment, looking around Kael and at the group behind him. Finally, she nodded and opened the door a little more. "His steward, Weyland is home. He might be able to give you the information you need," She said, leading them through the entryway and into a sizable dining hall.

She instructed them to wait there while she went to fetch Weyland. Kayden paced a bit, wondering how long it would take. "Have you met Weyland before?" He asked his father after a few minutes.

Kael shook his head, "No. He was mentioned, but I've never met him."

"It seems the man you are looking for has interesting taste in literature," Zevran commented then, pulling Kayden's attention away from his father then.

"Oh yeah?" He asked, circling around the long table then, moving toward a book the assassin was gesturing to. It sat on the table there, green cover calling to Kayden to open it and take a look at the information it contained. 

“ _Flame and Scale_ , huh?” Alistair said, reading the cover over Kayden’s shoulder. “A book on dragon cults? I wonder if this has anything to do with the old gods?”

“Perhaps?” Kayden said, lifting the book from the table and thumbing through the pages. “Hm… I wonder if you really can gain increased strength from drinking a dragon’s blood.”

“Are you considering trying?” Alistair asked, making a strange face.

“It can’t be any worse than…” Kayden trailed off then, deciding it best not to finish the sentence. Alistair probably could figure what line of thought he was on anyway, Kayden only having joined the Warden ranks a few weeks previous and he was pretty sure someone had mentioned that the Joining ritual was supposed to be a secret.

That had been awful; the smell and taste had been rancid and of course there were unpleasant aftereffects that felt like your brain was being ripped out of your skull while a voice continued to whisper relentlessly in your ears. “On second thought, I’d rather not even try. It could be just as bad.”

“I wonder why a book on dragon cults would just be lying out in the open,” Zevran said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kayden and Alistair looked to him then. It was Kayden who spoke next, “Well it is a book by another Chantry scholar, perhaps a friend of his.”

“Perhaps,” Zevran started, “Or perhaps it has something to do with his current research project.”

“Why do you think it would still be out even though he’s been away?” Kayden asked, placing the tome back on the dining table. 

“There could be a few reasons; it was overlooked, or his house staff decided to leave things tidy, but how he left it.” Zevran shrugged. 

“Maybe they are expecting him to be home soon?” Alistair suggested.

“Not really,” Came a voice from the door the maid had gone. “We haven’t seen or heard from brother Genitivi in weeks.”

Kayden looked up from the table then, ignoring the book for now as he crossed to the other side of the room toward the newcomer. “You’re Genitivi's steward I take it?”

The man nodded, “Yes, I am Weyland.” 

“I am Kayden Amell, and these are my companions, Alistair, Zevran and my father, Kael.” 

The man looked over the group for a moment, then nodded, “As I said, I haven’t seen or heard from Brother Genitivi for weeks. I fear he is in danger. About a week or so ago a few knights came looking for him. I thought they might be able to help, so I sent them in the direction he said he was going.” 

“Were they also in search of the Sacred ashes?” Alistair asked.

“I… yes. They were knights from Redcliffe. I’ve heard the arl there has fallen ill?” Weyland asked. 

Alistair nodded gravely, “That’s why we’re here as well. It’s very urgent that we can find Brother Genitivi.”

“You should abandon your search then!” Weyland said. “If he is in danger… The knights they also disappeared...”

“How do you know?” Kayden asked.

“They’ve been gone a while, and haven’t sent word.” Weyland’s words came quickly, nervously. Kayden wondered if he really was worried about their well being, or if he was hiding something.

“And why would they send word back here if they were to return to Redcliffe with the ashes if found?” Kael finally asked, stepping closer to Wyland. ”Were you close to the knights?”

Weyland sighed and shook his head. “Don’t ask me where they went, I’m not sending the rest of you into danger if something happened. Not again. With Genitivi missing, I couldn’t help but think of the worst. Perhaps I am a pessimist. I do hope I’m wrong, but I cannot risk sending more out.”

“If they are lost,” Kayden said, looking down at the floor for a moment, then back up to Weyland, “We need to find them.”

“No, no! I can’t do that! This search for the ashes, it is a curse! A curse on all of us! Some things are just not meant to be found! I know this now, and I’m not making that mistake again. Abandon this quest of yours and see to the arl some other way.”

Before anyone could continue on, Vulfson whined, clawing at one of the doors at the end of the hall. Everyone went silent as they turned to look at the mabari.

“What is it, boy?” Kayden asked, standing up straighter to look to the other side of the room. The dog barked and Kayden crossed to the other side of the room to pat the dog on the head. “Smell something?”

“I’m sorry, that room is not for guests. It’s full of Genitivi’s research. Books, papers, it shouldn’t be disturbed,” Weyland said, his words sounding frantic right now.

Kayden raised an eyebrow and looked back at him, “If his research is in there, it might help us find him, since you obviously aren’t being helpful.”

“Kayden,” his father warned.

The mage turned to look at his father for a moment before letting out a deep sigh and scratching the back of his head. “I apologize, that was rude of me. It is urgent that we find Brother Genitivi as soon as possible. Even if you think the ashes are a cursed quest, I have to find him.”

Weyland finally let out a slow nod. “Before… Genitivi left, he mentioned he would be staying at an inn near Lake Calenhad. He had a lead and planned to investigate there first, but that is all I know. Perhaps you can go to the inn and ask around to see if anyone has seen him?”

“Near Lake Calenhad? Where?” Kayden asked.

“The inn is called the Spoiled Princess, and is near the docks that ferry to and from Kinloch Hold.”

Kayden turned to give a questioning look to Alistair. The other man shrugged, “It’s as good a lead as any. We can head back to the docks again after we’ve finished getting our supplies together.”

Kayden lifted his hand to his shoulder, pulling the strap of his backpack a bit, subconsciously shifting the weight upward as he thought about it. It would still be a few days yet considering, but Alistair was probably right. Back to the docks. Again. And here he thought he’d have a chance to be away from that black spire for even a small amount of time. Every path seemed to always lead him back there.

Every eye in the room seemed to be on him for the moment, and he wished he could just sink in the floor and disappear. Why were all the decisions left for him? Save for the mabari, he was probably the youngest and least experienced one there, so why? 

There was another whine and Kayden turned to see Vulfson clawing at the same door again. The dog was starting to leave deep marks on the door. “Shit, I’m so sorry! I’ll pay for the damage he’s doing,” Kayden said, moving to grab the dog by the collar. “Vulfson, stop!” he ordered, trying to pull the mabari away from the door, but it was too late as the door pushed open.

Everything was silent for a moment as the smell of rot and decay entered the room, permeating the air around them. A smell not too different from the walking corpses they had encountered in Redcliffe.

Before Kayden could turn back to Weyland, the man attacked in a blur. Blood was already in the air, mingling with the scent of decay. Zevran had a knife in the man’s back before he could do any real damage though, but even that didn’t buy enough time before the maid and a few other house staff lept from the shadows to attack as well.

Something changed in the air again as everything seemed to fall silent. Kayden could tell there were shouts, maybe… He could see their lips moving, he could see the battle raging around him. The shredded tapestries, the plates flying into the air. What a mess Genitivi would have to come back to later. And for what? Who were these people, and why were they attacking now? Were they really part of the house staff at all?

When the moment finally passed and things returned to calm, four or five dead bodies lay on the floor, covered in blood. At least one of them had been a blood mage, but they had still been no match for the group.

“I’m not cleaning this mess,” Kayden informed the others, throwing up his arms as if he were at knife-point.

They barely had a moment to catch their breath before Vulson bounded past the open door and into the room beyond. He stopped and pressed his nose to the ground then looked back at the group once more. Letting out a deep ‘woof’, he continued on, disappearing around a corner.

Kayden looked at the others and shrugged before following the mabari into the room. The walls were lined with shelves full of books, every table and chair seemed to also be covered in books. That was when the smell hit him again, stronger than before.

On the far side of the room, tucked away between the foot of the bed and a wardrobe, they group found the cause of the smell. The silhouette of a body lay there upon the ground, wrapped in a blood-crusted sheet, amidst the buzzing of flies.

Vulfson growled, his ears pressing back against his skull as Kael approached the body. Unsheathing his sword once more, he used it to pull the sheet back.

“Not Genitivi,” Kael confirmed. “It’s possible this man was a member of the house staff.”

“We should alert the guard,” Alistair suggested. “Something needs to be done about the body.”

“I wonder who he was,” Kayden said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“If the three of you are done staring at the dead body, perhaps you may be interested in this,” Zevran said. The three turned back to look at Zevran, a leather bound journal in his hands. “The research notes of one ‘ _Brother Genitivi_ ’,” Zevran began, making sure to really emphasize the name, “His notes might be useful in learning his location, no?" 

Kayden grinned, taking the journal as it was offered to him. “I’ll look over this as soon as we get back to the inn.” He quirked an eyebrow in the direction of his father than. _See, the former crow is useful_ , he thought. 

Alistair nodded  then, “We’ll need to alert the city guard about what happened here and have the house cleaned up.” He looked to Kael then, scratching behind his head, “Perhaps you could do that, seeing as Kade and I are wanted men at the moment…”

“Of course,” Kael started, “I just need to know what inn you are staying at so I can find you later.”

“We’re staying at The Narrow Sign,” Alistair said.

Kael nodded, “I have a few errands to run in the mean time. I’l see the guard and meet you back at your inn.” 

"And I think we have been standing around here long enough, no?" Zevran said. "We should see ourselves out, better sooner rather than later."

**o ~ O ~ o**

Someone was pounding on the door. He didn't care. He liked it being locked. It was better that way for now. He needed it to be quiet while he was reading through Genitivi's research. And Kayden wasn't just scanning the pages, he was reading it word for word, front to back. 

He didn't really need to read it all, he didn't even really care about some lost relic from a religion he didn't really care much for. The Chantry had never really cared much for him, otherwise they wouldn't have taken him away from his home, from his mother, and kept his father from coming to visit him. Sure, life at the tower hadn't been all that bad, the Templar weren't as bad as some people liked to think. No, it was the other students that were bad. Some of the Enchanters maybe. Though usually the Enchanters had just seemed to pity him.

For the longest time, he just couldn't understand why. Though it was clear just looking at them, and seeing himself in a looking glass. He was different. People were scared of things that were different, things they didn't understand, and very few people took the time to try to understand.

"Kade! Let me in!" A voice called through the door. Jowan's, he realized, but Kayden didn't budge. He didn't want to deal with the other mage, not right now.

"I'm busy! Come back later!" Kayden finally yelled back. He'd eventually become annoyed with the knocking anyway, but he didn't want to give in. Perhaps Jowan would finally give up and go back to the common room with the others. There wasn't really much reason for him to be up here in the room right now anyway.

After all, Kayden needed peace and quiet to continue reading the notes. He had a bloody Blight to stop, and Maker forbid he didn't help every single person in the entire damn country to get support against the darkspawn. Sure, Eamon was sort of family to Alistair, and sure, Alistair was a friend, but from the sound of it, he hadn't had such a great time growing up in Eamon's house. Was all this really worth it? And would the ashes really help?

He'd already even figured out a while ago where Genitivi was heading. Haven, a small village in the mountains, one that wasn't even on the map. And yet... the man had detailed directions on how to get there. The man didn't seem sure what he would find there, but he suspected the urn itself was there.

Kayden had found exactly what he'd been looking for, and yet, he continued to stay locked in the little room at the inn that he was to be sharing with Jowan. It was really just an excuse to be alone. To get away from everyone else right now. He'd considered talking to Morrigan. Fade, he'd even considered talking to Leliana. But Morrigan, he wasn't sure would care, or even understand given her relationship with Flemeth. And Leliana? He didn't think she'd really be much help either. None of them would get it, none of them were like him.

" _None of them are abominations either_ ," Mouse pointed out. 

Kayden  dismissively waved a hand in the air. "I'm not an abomination."  

" _Oh really? Then what are you? Anyone who really knew about me would consider you to be one. It's inevitable considering how the Chantry rules._ "

"Shut up, I'm busy."

" _You haven't been busy for nearly an hour_ ," the demon insisted. " _Go be with your friends, you need a distraction_." 

"They aren't my friends. Not really." 

" _If they aren't, it's because you're the one pushing them away now. So used to how you were treated at the tower that it must be impossible for you to actually make friends. That Alistair fellow, he seems to like you. Thinks of you as a brother. Morrigan. Hmm... She's not entirely sure what to make of you, but she does seem to be curious of you. Leliana has a high opinion of you. A very high one considering how often she teases you. Sten's respect for you is growing each time he sees you fight, as you continue to train with that sword of yours. The one you broke, by the way. Good going. You know how he said the Qunari treat their swords. Said his was made for his hand and all. I suspect he’s not too happy about how you treated that one. And Zevran... Well... I'll leave that one alone. He's a complicated man. You're quite complicated yourself. Stop beating yourself up and actually try_."

“Would you quit that?” Kayden asked, letting out a sigh as he put down the notebook. "Where is he?"

There was a pause. The silence lasted for a few minutes before the demon finally spoke again. " _In the market. Not completely sure exactly where, but he seems to be doing what he said he would. With all the dead bodies, I suspect he needs to give a full report or something. Whatever it is Templar and guards do. I don't know_."

He almost smirked when he realized Jowan had given up on the door. Predictable as always. Though Jowan would be back later. Reluctantly, Kayden pulled himself up, discarding the notebook on a nearby table as he stretched. With all the moving they’d been doing, sitting for long periods of time was starting to feel strange.

Kayden began pacing, ignoring the demon for now. Mouse continued trying to pull him out of his sulk anyway. Kayden wasn’t having it. Not yet at least.

Eventually, he made his way over to the door and unlocked it, stretching again as he did so. Perhaps he could actually use some fresh air. Strange, considering he wasn’t all that used to being outside at all before the Blight. It was a wonder he hadn’t gotten sick at least once even, or overly warm. He didn’t like it when it was overly warm, which by Ferelden standards was hardly at all.

He pulled on his boots on as he hopped toward the door, half tripping on his socks on the way. Kayden braced himself on the door as the second one was in put into place. With a lead already on the whereabouts of Genitivi, it seemed that the end of the week couldn’t come any sooner. The group needed to resupply and repair gear. Those things took time, time they could barely afford. And while he was itching to get out and back on the road again, he dreaded the walk, wondering if he’d ever get used to being on the move all the time.

When he finally pulled the door open, Jowan fell in. 

“Why were you leaning against the door?” Kayden said, raising an eyebrow as he helped the other man straighten up.

“You realize we are sharing this room right? Do you understand what sharing means?” Jowan asked, poking Kayden in the chest.

Kayden stared at the door for a moment. “This is the first time I’ve ever been able to lock a door behind me. I just needed some time alone.”

Jowan glared at him for a moment, long enough for Kayden’s shoulders to shift to a slump. Without even saying anything, Kayden knew what Jowan was thinking. And he was right, neither of them had had that luxury back at the Tower, they had been in one of the large dorms on the main floor, between rows of bunks. Lots of other apprentices shared the room.

Finally, Jowan looked back to Kayden. “We’re… still friends right? If you need someone to talk to, I’ll lend my ear, as I always have.” 

Kayden sighed and closed the door behind him. He crossed the room back to one of the beds and fell back into it, his legs hanging over the side of the bed as he stared at the ceiling for a moment.

“I just… had a bit of a family reunion. I don’t remember if I mentioned my father being a Templar.” 

“I think so.”

“Yeah, I guess I did. Well, he’s here in Denerim. We met him between shopping and looking for Brother Genitivi’s house. Had lunch, showed us around a bit. Barely even had any time to look in that one shop we were talking about.”

“You don’t seem excited to see your father again,” Jowan pointed out, sitting on the other bed.

“Hmm… I should be, shouldn’t I? But I don’t know. I’m not sure how to feel. He sent me letters, for some reason they gave me those, but we weren’t allowed visitors. I’d always wondered if he’d abandoned me when it took longer and longer for him to send. I mean… It wasn’t his fault or anything, but how should I feel?” 

“You’re asking me to tell you how to feel?” Jowan considered the question for a moment though, when his response finally came, it was soft, hesitant, ”My parents... hated me. They used to fight about me after I manifested. Finally wore my father out and I ended up on the doorstep of our local Chantry… I don’t think I’d really want to ever see them again, and if I did well…” Jowan shrugged as he trailed off.

Kayden blinked and looked up from his spot on the other bed. “Really? You never mentioned that before…”

“It’s always been hard to talk about,” Jowan said softly. 

Kayden shifted his position and pulled himself up, moving to sit next to Jowan. He wrapped an arm around the other man’s shoulders, giving him a tight squeeze. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.”

Jowan shifted a bit on the bed, turning to face Kayden for a moment to return the hug. "It's in the past. I try not to think about it much."

"Yeah..." Kayden muttered, unsure of what to say next. It was then that he heard a sound behind them. The door, he realized, pushing away from Jowan to sit near the end of the bed.

"Did I come at a bad time?" Kael asked, from his place in the doorway.

"No!" Kayden said, quickly moving back to his own bed then. "We were just talking. I was about to go out for a walk though."

Kael raised an eyebrow, but didn't question that line further. "I can go with you then. I wanted to follow-up on what I found."

"Um..." Jowan started, drawing their attention back to him then. "Would it be alright if I came too? I could use some air."

Kael stared at Jowan for a moment. Kayden wondered for a moment why Jowan would want to go with them, then stood back up and moved over to the other bed, pulling Jowan up by the arm and over toward Kael. He could always ask later. Or perhaps forget about it entirely. The matter probably wasn’t incredibly important. "Introductions then. Dad, this is Jowan, one of my friends from the Tower. Conscripted now, but not fully a Warden yet. Jowan, this is my father." 

"You know you don't need to drag me around, Kade. I'm perfectly capable of getting up on my own," Jowan protested, but still held out a hand for Kael to shake.

"Kael," the templar said simply.

"Nice to meet you," Jowan replied as Kayden turned to give him an apologetic look. He hoped they could continue talking later without someone interrupting them. 

Kayden looked back to Kael then, “You don’t mind if he comes, do you? He probably could use the… air.” Kayden had wanted to say something different, which he was sure Jowan picked up on, considering the push to his arm that came afterwards.

The Templar nodded, face remaining straight now as he led them back out of the room and into the hall. 

**o ~ O ~ o**

He had a headache. It was still too early in the day to really be at a bar, Kayden knew, even if he wasn’t drinking. His head rested on the wooden surface before him, arms tucked under it.

Why had they come so early anyway? He wondered with a groan, turning his head to the side to watch Zevran for a moment. Flirting with a woman in such a familiar way, Kayden was certain they’d met before. Perhaps they’d even been lovers. 

Another groan and he turned away again. The poster had pointed to this location, The Pearl. A brothel and bar. A place with a long, wooden bar that Kayden was now becoming intimately familiar with, and a place he never would have found himself in otherwise.

He’d learned from his father last night that the man left dead in the backroom was actually Weyland, Genitivi’s steward. So the man they’d talked to was actually an imposter. If that was the case, he was sure Genitivi himself  really must be in some sort of danger.

It was really urgent now that they get a move on, but there were still things in Denerim that kept them from leaving, yet Kayden was still considering going on his own. Probably wasn’t a wise decision, however. Someone would likely scold him for it. Actually… he could imagine everyone in his group scolding him for doing such a thing. And so here he was, with a headache, sitting at a bar and definitely not jealous of the woman that currently held Zevran’s attention. Not. At. All.

The bartender had been nice. Kept offering him a drink, even the woman running the place had come over a few times to ask him if he needed anything. The longer he spent at the bar though, the more he considered her offer.

Finally, he couldn’t wait for Zevran any longer. Sanga was her name, Kayden remembered as he pushed himself out of his seat and walked over to her. He was getting impatient. “I’m actually here to meet someone. He’s supposed to be in a back room.”

The woman looked around nervously for a moment. “Oh, _that_ room. I’ll have someone show you the way,” she said, gesturing for one of the bouncers to move to the side so he could make his way into the hall beyond the bar-room.

The hall was dimly lit and lined with many closed doors, each of which seemed to be occupied judging by the sounds of pleasure coming from beyond them. Kayden wrinkled his nose a bit at it, despite having considered taking Sanga up on the offer earlier. His Warden funds were probably a bit too low at this point to seriously consider it anyway.

Finally, his guide stopped at a door and pointed to it, not saying anything else before turning and moving back toward the bar. The room really was pretty much as far from the bar as it could be. If he wasn’t already aware of this being a trap, he might have grown suspicious now.

Kayden took a deep breath. His father hadn’t wanted him to come alone, but he couldn’t wait any longer. He brought his hand up to the door and gave a quick, hard knock, one that echoed down the hallway, more than enough to announce his presence.

The voice that answered him was gruff, slow, carefully annunciating his words as if whoever was on the other side might not be able to understand otherwise. “What’s the password,” he asked.

Kayden rolled his eyes. “What is this, some sort of top-secret assassins’ guild? Am I not being asked what life’s greatest mystery is?” He wondered allowed.

Instead of saying some affronted response like 'you are not worthy!' the man only said, “Piss off.” No appreciation of humor, that one.

Kayden could hear shuffling behind the door and then everything went silent. He frowned, planting his feet firmly in front of the door and finally knocking again a few minutes later. Louder this time.

“What’s the password?” the same voice asked again. He sounded annoyed this time, though he didn’t sound as annoyed as Kayden felt.

“The griffons will rise again,” Kayden responded, his voice sounding bored, and just a bit pissed off. They were no fun anyway.

There was a click from the lock and the door flew open, revealing a small group within as the man who opened the door gestured for him to come in.

Something tugged at his senses then, brushing up beside him and off to the side. He looked around, but noticed nothing particularly out of the ordinary, but the sense was familiar enough for him to recognize.

He almost grinned as he greeted the armored woman on the other side of the room. An elven lass with light hair, Kayden didn't fail to notice the sword that he thought seemed too big for her. The group was already talking amongst themselves that they’d ‘caught’ another Grey Warden supporter.

“You idiots,” she said, “That’s not a supporter, that’s a Grey Warden!”

The men around her looked shocked. He almost wanted to call all of them idiots as well, but his own words didn’t come out exactly as intended. “Looks like you fucked up this time! Bagging a Grey Warden! I bet your employer would be ever so pleased.”

“Of course not, we can get the bounty on your head now, it’s pretty high you know,” she stated, matter-of-factly.

“Oh really? And if I said I didn’t kill the king?”

“Wouldn’t matter to me, we’re only here for the money anyway.”

Kayden raised an eyebrow then. “Really now? And here I was considering letting you live. Well that’s just too bad. Guess we can’t all get what we want, huh?”

The door slammed shut behind him. A pathetic attempt to try to intimidate him. Last mistake they’d ever make. He cracked his knuckles then, making sure to draw it out as he looked over each of them. It would be over soon enough anyway.

As if to emphasize his point, they attacked before he could finish. The room was cramped, far too cramped for a battle, let alone a small skirmish. He skirted to the side, moving much more quickly than he could have in heavy armor, though still wishing he had brought it anyway. Kael had insisted it would draw too much attention to himself though. He had no weapon either, no noticeable one at least. Must have made him look like an easy target to the little group there.

He dodged the first blade easily enough, a large, two-handed weapon was slow enough anyway, but none of them expected ice to sprout at their feet, freezing one into place, while the other smashed his way out of his own little prison, pressing onward toward Kayden. He drew up an ice wall, blocking the next blade as he moved back away from them, and stepped to the side as he shaped his magic into a blade of his own.

This time he blocked with a sword made of ice, the chilled blade cracked and almost shattered on impact, but it more than served its purpose. There was a surprised gasp from the man as the ice plunged deeply into his side, cutting between his ribs. He dropped it then, moving back to reform another.

The man let out a surprised scream, one that was all but ignored by Kayden as he moved on to the next target, his new blade of ice ready to defend. The next attacker got him this time, throwing him back with a heavy blow from his shield. Kayden hit the wall behind him just as an arrow whizzed by his head. It was only then that he realized he’d gone into a fight without thinking about the odds being stacked against him. There were too many of them in such a small room, with a lot of room for error. Fatal errors.

The world spun around him when a gauntlet-clad fist hit him in the chin, knocking his head back against the wall again. His concentration dropped along with the icy blade he’d been holding. He wondered for a moment if their orders had been to bring him in alive, but the hope for that even faded as something sharp made its way into his side.

Kayden cried out, hands bawling into fists as he clawed at the man in front of him. Magic came again, without thought, the ice spread around him, freezing the man in place, still clutching the sword before he could pull it out.

Mouse tried to let out a warning then, but it went unheard as Kayden lashed out blindly, ice building up around them, covering all surfaces with a blanket of frost that continued to spread and then shoot out in spikes. It came from the ceiling, from the ground, from the walls. It impaled, shattered and spread more until only the elven lady was left standing in the middle of the room.

Kayden panted, watching her. Time seemed to be moving slowly as she made her way toward him. It seemed like an eternity between the two of them. She stopped just in front of him, raising her blade for a killing blow. She said something, but the words escaped him as she collapsed. A confused look appeared on his face as he watched Zevran pull a dagger from her back. He wasn’t sure when he’d finally decided to start helping, but he wasn’t going to argue now. Later maybe. No. Later definitely. A lot of arguing later.

His head was still swimming when he finally realized the fight was over. The entire room was a mess of bodies, ruined furniture and blood. The tab was going to be high.

“You, my friend, are not so subtle. You would make a terrible assassin.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment,” Kayden replied, trying to catch his breath as he was finally able to pull the sword from his side. He screamed again as blood gushed out of it. Too much blood maybe, but he was too drained to really say for certain. He fumbled through his pack, groping for poultices.

Zevran grabbed his hand then. “Stop moving,” He scolded, snatching Kayden’s pack from him, amber eyes looking over the other disapprovingly as he tore the blood-stained shirt away from Kayden.

Kayden's eyes widened as he watched the other man, "What are you doing? I liked that shirt!"

"It was already torn. Stop moving." The assassin swatted Kayden's hands away as he examined the wound. “This is going to need stitches,” he informed the mage, “and will probably scar. Too bad we don’t have a healer to take care of this for you.”

“You… know what you’re doing?” Kayden asked, a little surprised really.

“I know some first aid, but not much beyond that I’m afraid. It’s a good skill to pick up, perhaps you should learn as well, that is, if you wish to continue your plan of being a one-Warden army.”

"I... huh?" Kayden didn't understand why Zevran was acting this way. What to say eluded him at this point as well as Zevran began tearing up what was left of the shirt and pressing pieces of cloth against Kayden's side to try to stop the blood flow. Kayden watched Zevran's hands then, only now really noticing the severity of the injury. He'd need stitches, Zevran had said. How bad did that mean it was?

"But who am I to object to the mighty Warden should he wish to run headlong into a trap without arms, armor or backup? Our fearless leader is invincible after all."

"Zevran..." Kayden started, just as the elf shushed him.

"Here, hold this," Zevran said, motioning with his head toward the cloth held against Kayden's side. Kayden obeyed... for now as Zevran pulled a red vial from a belt pouch. "Drink this," he instructed, uncorking it and holding it to Kayden's lips. After that, he moved to the other side of the room to a small wash bin that, through some miracle, seemed to be the only thing that hadn't been knocked over during their little skirmish.

Zevran dragged it back toward the bed, and helped Kayden back onto what remained of the torn sheets. At least the mattress seemed to be in one piece. Mostly.

It didn't take Zevran long to find what he needed and begin the process of stitching up Kayden's wound. The mage stared at the ground for a while, not saying a word, and feeling more than a little bit like a child waiting for a parent to come and scold him for something wrong he'd done. Fade... Zevran had already scolded him for it anyway.

"Zev?" Kayden started, his voice soft. "I... sensed you entering the room. Why didn't you help right away?"

Zevran didn't look up, focused as he was on finishing stitching up Kayden's side. “I was helping the entire fight. Did you not notice?”

“You were?”

Zevran’s hand reached up, the back of his palm resting against Kayden’s forehead. It moved again, under his chin, against his neck. “You feel a little warmer than usual," Zevran said, his voice sounding a little uncertain, considering how cold Kayden usually was. "Besides this, how are you feeling?”

“Drained. I have a bit of a headache still. I can’t… reach my mana.”

Zevran nodded, but didn't comment. When the stitches were in place, he bid Kayden sit up, and wrapped fresh bandages around the wound. "I'll be right back," he said, slipping out of the room.

Kayden stared at the door, feeling a bit lost now, and more than a little scared. Would Zevran come back? Even as he panicked inwardly, he tried his best not to move too much, not wanting to open the wound again. He couldn't help, however, reaching into his pack for a blue vial. Lyrium was in short supply for the group right now, but he figured if he was burned out it would help take the edge off at least. Or reconnect him to his mana. He wondered what was scarier; that, or how long it was taking Zevran to get back.

Kayden felt like Zevran had been gone for an eternity when the assassin finally did slip back through the door. He tried his best not to cling to the other man then as Zevran gently tried to lead him to another room. A clean one. Kayden didn't protest as Zevran helped him into the new bed, locking the door behind them.

Zevran sat in a nearby chair then, amber eyes focused on the door. He was silent now. Unnaturally so, in Kayden's opinion. Zevran always had something to say about... well just about everything.

"Zev... are you mad at me?" He finally asked.

Zevran didn't answer at first, continuing to stare at the door. It took a few minutes before he finally sighed, but didn't avert his eyes. "You are currently one of two surviving Grey Wardens in Ferelden, and yet you continue to take unnecessary risks."

Unsure how to respond, Kayden studied Zevran’s profile then. The man wasn’t doing much to reveal what he was thinking, and Kayden wondered if that might be another part of his Crow training. One of the last surviving Grey Wardens…

He looked away again, head turning to face the wall. Again, someone bringing that up. Kayden had Alistair, he knew, but the way everyone talked about it, it seemed like he was alone in this. His thoughts again wandered toward that spot again, feeling all of a sudden lonely in his burdens. It seemed like all that mattered was the Blight, and when it was over, he wouldn’t matter anymore. He really would be alone then.

“I’m… sorry,” he finally managed to say, not looking away from the wall.

"Warden, you do not realize just how lucky you are. I may have been here this time, and last time with the wolf, but I might not always be around. What if I'm not there next time? What will you do then?"

Kayden turned to look back at Zevran then. Was he worried? The title had been formal, but the rest? _What if I'm not there next time?_

"You're right," Kayden finally said, his voice soft, barely above a whisper.

"Just... Take a moment to think about things before rushing in, yes?”

"I'm..." Kayden stopped then, realizing he was about to apologize. Again. He sighed a bit, sinking back against the pillow. "I will."

The silence stretched on for a time after that, Zevran returning his attention to the door. Kayden wondered for a while what was so intriguing about the door that it was able to hold the elven assassin's eyes.

"Zev?" Kayden called, trying to sit up in the bed. "Stop that," Zevran said, moving closer to push Kayden back down. "No moving, I'd be rather put off if I had to stitch you back up again."

"I... sorry," Kayden apologized again, laying back down again. He let his hand brush against Zevran's for a moment. "You just seemed... I don't know, are you waiting for something?"

"I sent for your father."

"You... what? Why would you do that?" Kayden yelled, trying to pull himself back up again, only for Zevran to push him back down.

"Kayden," Zevran warned, though his voice held no real edge to it. "I'll need help removing you from the Pearl once you've had a chance to recover some. Or am I to carry you out on my own?"

"I was expecting to walk," Kayden admitted.

Zevran shook his head. "Always so reckless. You need rest, but you can’t stay at the Pearl. You shouldn’t be moving, and so I sent for your father. I gave him my word, you know. I said, ‘No harm will come to our dear Warden while I am around.’ Can you imagine what he will say to me?"

Zevran sat at the edge of the bed now, his back to Kayden as he watched the room for a moment. Kayden reached out, placing a hand on Zevran’s arm.

“Thank you… for being there… for staying with me now.”

Zevran snickered. “Well at least you are polite. Most of the time.”

He took Kayden's hand then, and set it down on the bed beside the mage as he shifted in his seat turning so they were facing one another.  "One of my first jobs, I was sent to kill the twentieth cousin of a lesser merchant prince. He had supposedly been stealing money from his distant cousin. He wasn’t from Antiva City, but he just so happened to be in the neighborhood as it were. Rented out a small villa just outside one of the market districts.

”He was a young man, only a little older than I was at the time. Dark hair, striking eyes, but I remember his hands the most. They were slim with the long, graceful fingers of an experienced artist, and soft from never having seen a bit of hard labor in his life.” His amber gaze rested on Kayden’s hands, “A little like yours, though not as pale nor as cold. I found myself imagining him using his hands on me.”

Kayden rolled his eyes. “And you slept with him?”

“I would have liked to, but not this time,” Zevran said, chuckling a bit, “He’d been tipped off somehow that his cousin had opened a contract on him. I was completely unaware, though I was prepared to blend in, having previously made arrangements to enter the villa under the guise of a shy servant. I’d even looked the part; covering up my tattoos with makeup, acquiring the right clothing. I may have walked into a trap, but they weren’t sure where the attack was coming from.

“I’d spent a week or so getting to know the staff, integrating as best as I could. The young man was growing paranoid as the end of the second week was closing in. He started interrogating some of the newer servants, had guards posted at most of the doors, watching the cooks. I think even a few of the servants and guards ended up dead.”

“And you were expecting to be interrogated as well?” Kayden asked.

“I was called to be,” Zevran started, “I panicked at first, taking a knife from the kitchen and concealing it in my boot. Nothing actually happened during the interrogation, but later I realized I was running out of time. I found myself becoming rather intimate with the interior of a wardrobe in his private room. It was dark and when he finally came into the room, I must have been in there for a few hours at least. He was alone, or so I thought.

”I waited a bit for him to sleep and crept from the wardrobe and moved toward the bed. I had expected things to end quickly, seeing as it was just the two of us and he was sleeping. I hadn’t noticed that one of his guards was waiting out on the balcony. The guard moved silently enough that I hadn’t noticed him approaching behind me.”

“And?”

“I killed them both of course. I had planned on it being a quick, clean kill. I would have preferred it to be so, but the guard was well trained and I ended up with a concussion, a broken tibia, and I needed stitches; not to mention my boots were ruined. I have a lot of bad luck when it comes to boots.”

"Your boots?" Kayden asked.

"If you've never had a fine pair of Antivan leather boots, you wouldn't understand. They were nice boots," Zevran smiled, his gaze looking off into the distance.

Kayden almost laughed. "And what about your current pair? Not so nice?"

"Fereldan. Durable, comfortable, but not nearly as stylish," Zevran said, giving Kayden a teasing grin, "but not hard to be fond of, in the Fereldan way of things."

Kayden let out a soft laugh, lifting his hand again to caress Zevran's cheek. "Are you saying I'm not stylish? Regardless, I'm a Marcher, born in Kirkwall."

Kayden could see the glimmer of surprise in Zevran's eyes at Kayden’s words, but the elf recovered quickly, "Ah, but you are a mage, so you must have lived in the Tower most of your life, yes?"

"I did," Kayden replied, his hand sinking into Zevran's hair then and resting at the base of the other man's skull. He pulled Zevran closer then. There were only a few inches separating them when there was a loud knock at the door.

Kayden let out an exasperated sigh, releasing Zevran then so he could get the door. The elven assassin surprised him then, however, closing the distance between their lips. The kiss didn't last very long, but Kayden could feel Zevran's tongue sliding between his lips. He was warm, and tasted a bit of plum and cinnamon.  His eyes opened slowly as Zevran pulled away, watching the other man move toward the door.

He could hear Kael's voice after Zevran opened the door, but Kayden wasn't really paying attention to the things beings said.

_You really want to melt the ice?_


End file.
